53 days is not a long time Glenn. EVERY emotion, reaction to a loss is normal. I'm wishing you all the best.

I agree with what everyone before said. Hang in there rely on your support people. They may not know when your are having a difficult time. So you call them.
Prays and hugs

Sorry for your loss.

I did feel that way at the start. Even begged God to come take me, but at 4 years out things are better. I enjoy living. Honestly, my biggest change for the better came when I rescued a dog. She needs me here.

At less than two monthsit is bad, but some also are still in the fog of the pain, the brain will kinda pick and choose what it wants to deal with. Also obliterate what it doesn't want to deal with for a few months. A safety-net to keep from overloading. Then slowly it starts to see the other things. Many here get mad at God(hand up) but even that is a distraction. Go through the gamut of the grief not in any order, nor any amount of repeats. Others grab tighter to their beliefs, again the rest of it will seep through at times knocking you off your balance.

I am at 22 months now and the waters are still choppy, but I know that I am learning to handle the waves better, I don't try to pretend that I have it together yet. Things still wash over me with force....
But I now have recognition that it was who I was, that my husband fell in love with, so that is still with me, just banged up a little. My love for him had so many reasons... I am getting there. This site though has been a very big part of that journey, what I see, share, fit, to work for me. Still I am smart enough to keep the kleenex close though for the other waves that may topple me, and the door open to the new in life.

We are here with you because we understand this, so don't be afraid of sharing here, it's understood by us.

Important drink the water and if you have to, set an alarm to eat> Grief is like a marathon in that you have to keep fueled, since it takes so much out of you.

When some one asks what they can do , have short lists handy...Grocery shopping is a big umph in the gut, at times.

It took me a few times to learn to avoid picking up John's favorites, then putting them down and leaving the store in tears, before I learned.

Hugs Jewells

Yes, I felt that way many times and still do at times. My husband of 33 years died in Oct. It wasn't that I wanted to die or was thinking of suicide I just didn't care if I lived. I am no longer scared of death. I cry a lot now but not all the time. I have had three screaming fits and I feel better afterwards. Our 34th anniversary is coming up on Monday. I have decided to focus on all the wonderful times we had together and the great life that we had. Tears are the best medicine. I joined a support group at the local hospice. I make myself get out and take a nice long walk every morning. I am going to be good to myself and seek my purpose. I know he wouldn't want to see me miserable the rest of my days. I have been told the grief never goes away but the intensity of it does over time. Big hugs to you on your journey thru grief.

Glenn,
I am so sorry for your loss.
I lost my wife Cindy one year ago to a sudden illness. I know now that I was in shock for a time. Waves of grief, couldn't eat, couldn't sleep, was in a fog couldn't think right. For a while I felt like I did not care if I continued or not.
One of her friends came by the house to ask I how I was doing. I told her I cry a lot because I miss my wife so much. She said you know Cindy would have wanted you to go on with your life and be happy. Words my wife would have said and I would have wanted that for her too.
My prayers are with you and please believe that grief although a difficult journey does become easier.You have found a place where everyone understands. I can't begin to tell you how much they have helped me.
Be kind to yourself, take life in baby steps for a while, and please believe that crying is a healthy and necessary part of the grieving process.

Glenn,I am so sorry for your loss. I'm at eight months and I just can't imagine that it will get better. It has actually been worse for me the last couple of months. I feel like I've been treading water and now I'm starting to tire of it and can't keep my head above water much longer. I have tried to stay busy and go out with family and friends and taking some classes at school, but none of it even comes close to filling the great void I feel I'm losing my dear husband. I go to a hospice support group, but I can't say it has really done me any good. I had a wonderful husband and I just can't stand the thought of having to feel such grief and pain and loneliness for many years to come yet. I hope the people who say it gets better are correct. Sometimes I feel like I'm different and that for me it will never get better that I'll never get over it and it scares me to think that I will always feel this way. I hope you do better than I have. You probably will I hope. I will tell you coming here to D capital has been a godsend for me. I feel that no one understands the pain that we go through like the people here at DS. They have helped me a lot. Come here often and I believe you'll feel A sense of comfort and compassion in knowing others are suffering just as you are...Mary

Ok, I have to say that this thread has had so many posts that it's been at the top of the list for several days now.

I must confess that every time I see this thread title I can hear that old Three Stooges' Malace in the Palace, 1949 where they break out the map to the Rootin Tootin Diamond and they mention crossing over the Give a damn

http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=2&ved=0CA4QtwIwAQ&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DCfObadj3xcE%26autoplay%3D1&ei=FhwbU8qHFqKTyQHhk4HoCw&usg=AFQjCNFqNZ2OHLshMxPf6zJYddqeQ1PF5g&sig2=4W9wUqu6qyPqPDCEHZeUXQ

It's at 11:35 of the above clip, lol

I just had to mention it :)

Bob

Glenn,
I am sorry for your loss. I don't really have advice for you. Just know that there are others who understand. I find myself breaking down in the grocery store or any place where my wife and I had been together. I have found myself almost running back to the car so I could keep from crying in public. I was brought up in a family that I knowed loved each other but it just wasn't shown. Showing emotion just wasn't done in my family. Letting it out is healthly, even though men are taught not to.