Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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avmom 12/20/2017

i feel so out of it today. I am not weepy or crying but I am so unmotivated. Haven’t showered in 2 days. Still in my pj’s and it is 6pm. I have a house to clean and gifts to wrap. I am 9 months in. I think my grief is catching up with me. I was busy with the kids and selling my house and then the move. Now all the renovations have been done and the kids are settled in. Now I find myself alone in a new town, no friends and alone all day while the kids are in school. I think with the holidays it is all hitting me. I find myself thinking about him all day long. I know it will get better, there was a time I cried all the time and I have moved on from that. I just want to care again.

michellebrand 12/20/2017

I totally went through this stage... Once my mind is not cluttered with funeral, moving, kids, for me... Detoxing, my body just shut down. I got physically sick and slept way too much... Just another phase... This too shall pass.

SandyZal 12/20/2017

I'm 9 months in also. I stopped crying all the time also. I'm getting better but I still have times I miss him so much it hurts. My mom is also very ill right now so I am dealing with a double whammy. She probably won't be here very much longer either. Grief affects you physically and it wears you out. It affects your brain and your energy. I fell like I have Altzeimers at times, I am low energy, and I don't feel like I have any desire to do anything many times. I hear it gets better. I'm getting better but it will take a long time to stop missing my husband.

shewearsblack17 12/21/2017

I hope people will understand about my hit and miss Christmas shopping. Between being sick, my own grief, and now my kids' issues (wanting to split up), I do not feel motivated. I can't even think straight. I went to the grocery store again and bought three 12 packs of Coke Life because it was so cheap. My hubby used to drink it, so here's a toast to him. I buy all this food, and then I have trouble cooking it. Or I don't have the time, or the kitchen's a mess. I am surprised that I haven't shut down, seriously. It has happened before,; I think that is the same as a nervous breakdown. I am doing the countdown. In 6 more days, this will all be behind us. Christmas, that is. Who knows when the other will fade out or blur, if ever. I don't know if I am supposed to file tax returns or not on survivor benefits. I hope not.

cupolatte 12/21/2017

You will care again Avmom. I went through this too. I had a very sick newborn when my husband died and I stopped feeling anything for him. I went through the motions of providing his physical care and rocked him, but I didn't feel anything. I do remember hoping that I wasn't hurting him emotionally. He is fine. I got through it and discovered how sweet he was again. You will get through this too. I am still praying for you to know comfort and healing.

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