Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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russ1153 09/25/2013

I'm close to 7 months of this and it just doesn't end. I thought I was doing better then I had two meltdown weekends. Today at work I found a couple of cards from my wife in 2000 where she tells me how much she loves me and what I meant to her. I couldnt hold it together at work and had to leave. I miss her so much and feel terrible as I start to realize this is my new life. How do you fill the emptiness you feel inside? I thought I had some of the answer's but now I feel so lost again.

Thanks for listening!

Russ

deleted_user 09/26/2013

It's been over 11 months for me and I still cry almost every day. Some days worse than others. I am so sorry for your loss. God's grace will get us through. I encourage you to just cry. Don't hold back. I believe tears are a healing process. I have been told the greater the love, the deeper and longer the grief. I believe that. I had the most wonderful husband for almost 19 years and we were together 20 years. I am so thankful for the memories and knowing that for those 20 years I was truly LOVED! There will be many triggers just flow with them and don't lose hope. Things will get better, it is a process. Hugs to you!

deleted_user 09/27/2013

Hi. I'm new here but totally get it. My husband passed 3 1/2 years ago and I still have a good cry about twice a week. I still miss him so much it physically hurts. He was the best thing that ever came into my life and for once in my life I knew what being loved was truly like. We had 10 wonderful years and 8 dealing with the cancer which was a total roller coaster ride. When he passed, I was totally back at square one. I have never felt so lonely in my life. I was his life and he was mine and now I'm lost and stuck. It is easier than in the beginning but it's still so painful. I totally empathize with you and just take it one day at a time. Sometimes the tears hit you without notice. I do hope each day gets a tiny bit better than the day before.

tikibell1 09/27/2013

After 6 years I have come to a place where I do not feel sad every day I have moments of real joy and I that's when I know at least I have accepted that he is gone and I have to go on. But I still do cry certain things make me miss him and the tears do come still. Like the birth of a grandchild, their high school graduations all the special days we should have had together! But I suffer from depression so grieving has been a long time for me but it does get better.

deleted_user 09/27/2013

Hi Russ,

I agree with the rest, it takes time. My whole first year and beyond was very rough and like many others, I cried every day.

You are doing your best and it will get better. But 7 months is not that long, really. And the first year, every holiday, every normal celebration is tough navigating (or at least it was for me).

Hugs,

Shari

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