I probably wouldn't go. I just wouldn't feel like I fit in and wouldn't want them to change their behavior because of me. I mean, I see couples all the time and even watch those house hunter shows, but I don't like hanging out with couples when I'm not a couple. Even decades ago when I was single I felt this way--I avoided it like the plague.

I certainly know how you feel. I have one couple friend left. They do not have dinner parties with other couples when I am over. It is just them and I. I feel so comfortable there. But I can say that I agree with you. It was very inconsiderate to act that way in front of you.
I feel these displays of affection get to me when I see them in public. Lee and I used to do that I will think. Or I will look at them with jealousy and longing knowing I will never have that with him.
Next time your friend invites you over, let your feelings be known ahead of time. If they don't get it, I myself would turn down the invitations when other couples are there.
Hugs, Gwen

I was single for almost 20 years after my first marriage (divorce) and before my second, so I really know what you mean about being the odd person in every group. Probably because of all the time I spent in exactly that situation, I was never a fan of PDA.

On the bright side, it's still better to have friends trying to include you instead of dropping you because you're not part of a couple. What you need to do is find some friends in really bad relationships; spending an evening with a fighting, snarping couple will make you feel so much better! (just kidding...)

I think it's another case of cluelessness. Those who have never experienced widowhood wouldn't have any idea what bothers you about their public display of attention. Normally, it wouldn't bother me, either. And, I still think it's lovely...just not in front of me - not right now. I'm a little raw, yet. And, yes - I AM jealous.

Might be a good idea not to accept any invitations for dinner to this friend's house for awhile...

Hugs,
Terry

I am guilty of acting lovey-dovey with my husband in the years we were together, right up to the time he died. I didn't look around to see if there were singles in the group, I just did what I felt like doing. I realize now how hurtful that must have been to the singles who were envying me. Now it's me envying them. But I know I had my turn. It was too short, but what a ride it was. I had the best. None of us know the agony until it is our time to go through the loss of our soulmates. Knowing this,I can forgive those who are ignorant. How I wish I was ignorant!

I also know just what you mean! Last year I began sitting at church with a widow I had met through a grief group. We were not a couple, it was just very comforting to be with someone who understood. Both of us less than 6 months out from our loss. Well, a couple in front of us were all over each other--week after week! And they weren't young--probably 50's! It really hurt. The last straw was one day when she had her hand on his butt for the last song. We moved to another spot! Of course they didn't mean to upset us, it just goes with the territory. Time has healed a bit but it was VERY painful then. Wish I could be there to whisper in your friends' ears, "Please be a little more sensitive..."

I wouldn't go either. Its just too hard watching othr couples when your alone. Explain to your hostess and maybe she can ask you to a different group of people.
I would have felt the same and left soon.
I don't like to watch others dispaly affection in public.

If anything, they were being insensitive. I am choosy as to what social events I attend.

You are already suffering, or have recovered. Do like me. Don't put yourself through anything that is going to cause you pain.

Next time you experience the huggy, kissy, tell them to "GET A ROOM".

Yeah, I learned my lesson after this experience. I don't think I will accept anymore dinner invitations to her house unless I know there are other uncoupled people there.

Well now, I don't altogether agree. Their lovey dovies are theirs, yours were yours. Their displays can neither take from you or add to you. Enjoy the food, the company and the laughter. Folks will not change their behaviour patterns to suit you, and frankly, I do not think they should have to - they too will be where you are now, so let them have their kisses and cuddles while they can, don't be a sorry suzie, get out as much as you can, by focusing on others and seeing if you can contribute to their good time will do wonders for you, I promise you.

I see what you mean, Barbarame, but I left my friend's house feeling more alone and more depressed. So if I know this type of situation will not make me happy, I am going to decline invites like these from now on. I am not expecting people to change how they show their affection, but maybe just tone it down a notch when I'm sitting there in front of you in plain sight. We're not teenagers anymore and my 40-something friends were acting like teenagers from high school.

Oh you have a point too, certainly. I am English so too much public display of affection is something we actually don't much like under any circumstances. An English person would sooner give you a kidney than a kiss in public! Smile. Here are a few kisses and hugs just for you! Just to prove you are NOT alone. xxxxxxxxxxxxooooooooooooooo

I personally would welcome the dinner invite with couples/friends, it's the non invites that bother me. When I find out the gang got together and didn't call me, now that hurts.

This is my personal opinion ...
Colleen

Actually it's been over 3 1/2 years for me and I have often gone to Friday fish fries with my neighbor angel Joe and his wife Kathleen. When they hold each other hands and when I see on their chalkboard in their kitchen 'Joe loves Kathleen' I am happy for them. Yes happy because I had that kind of relationship and I know just how wonderful it is......

This is in response to Cleodoggie's post. You said your neighbors were Joe and Kathleen. Those are my husband's and my names, too. Just reading the phrase in your post, "Joe loves Kathleen" meant a lot to me. Kathleen is not a common name, so to pair it with my precious husband just made my day. Thanks, Cleodoggie, for putting that message in your post. Yes, Joe DOES love Kathleen and Kathleen DOES love Joe!!!! Thank you!!