Judy - it honestly hasn't been any harder or easier to deal with it sooner or later. Not a very definitive answer, huh? I did it in increments, and only when I felt strong enough to do it. Some clothes I gave away immediately. Then I had a pile that I put on the bed in the second bedroom, where they sat for 8 months or so. It took me 9 months to move his sandals from the front door to the upstairs closet. My mom went throught my dad's things the first week. We're all different, and it is totally, completely, up to you. There's no guideline for this. It's your timeline, and yours alone to decide.

I am so sorry for your loss....it will be 2 years at the end of July for me...still have almost everything ..clothes still in closet and dresser...I like it being in there. I tried early on, to clean out the clostet, but I couldnt give anything away but some work shirts to family members... I would say take your time. Dont do anything until your ready to. Debbie...:)

i am approaching the 1 year mark on July 5th. My advice is to go slowly when getting rid of things because of the finality of that. Once it is gone.... it's GONE !!
Last month, I got rid of socks & underwear... I kept his hiking socks for when I go hiking! Then, I decided to sort through some other clothes... a little day by day. I have a couple tubs of special shirts, jeans, p.j.'s... that i hope to have made into memory quilts for myself , kids & grandkids.
I still kept his slippers & robe and lots of clothes still in our closet. I like having them there...
Wishing you peace, Linda

I wera a lot my husband's clothes when I am working around the house. Quite an attractive sight I must say, since he was a XXL and I' a size 8. I look like a rummage sale when I'm mowing and cleaning but it makes me feel close to him. I gave some stuff to Goodwill and to his children, jewelery, etc.

In reading some of the responses I see there are a few people who very recently lost spouses. I am so sorry for your loss. It is something none of us ever wanted to go through yet here we are. I am at 9 months now since I loss my husband are still days that are really hard. As for his clothes they are still in the closet and his computer station is still as it was. All his disks etc are still there. I feel no where near being able to deal with that yet. Do things as you are able. Follow your heart and feelings. There is no right or wrong. Unless a person has been through what we are going through they cannot know how you feel.

Hugs to you.....

I'm at 22 months, and I still have some of his clothes in the closet. I cleared out the dresser drawers, and left one with some T-shirts for the grandkids to wear, when they sleep over. I have a whole other group of his work clothes in the garage, that we would hang, when they came out of the dryer. I haven't touched them. Go as fast, or as slow as it's comfortable for you, and you alone.
Paula

Its a little over 8 weeks for me. His shoes are still where he left them when he took them off that night. His razor, tooth brush, everything is exactly where he left them the last time he used them. I can not imagine moving any of his things. I just can't bring myself to. I think to myself if I don't put his things up, its not real. I know that's not true but
at this point it's my way of coping.

I am at 7 months. Up until one week ago, most of my hubby's things were still in his closet and drawers. My sons wear some of his favorite tshirts. But, we moved this past weekend so I boxed up his things right along with mine. When we move in our new house, then we will see. Do whatever you feel is right. This journey is different for each of us. When my dad died, my mom had me clean out his closet the next week. Everyone deals with this in their own way and in their own time. Hugs to you today, Dawn

This is not anything to think about after only 5 weeks. Please dont do anything important by yourself for quite awhile. I was able to pretend that my husband just stepped out, for a lot longer than that. When I did go through his clothesI did it myself. Things have memories attatched to them, regardless of what it is. I just kept his favorite shirt, and kept it under his pillow, for a long time. God bless you-

I'm at week 15 and still Ken's things are in his drawers and in his closet.. Some have been taken by the kids.. My Grandson-in-law has alot of his polo shirts.. Our son doesn't fit in most of Ken's clothes so he did take two pair of shorts.. gawdy plaid that Ken loved so much.. There were really too big for Ken but he liked them.. We found two bags of ankle socks new that weren't opened they are still in the drawer as are is other socks and gitch.. Other shorts, pants and shirts are still there..I'm in no hurry really.. I don't go in his room unless absolutely necessary..Kids keep saying they are going to clean it out but are so busy.. I don't think there is a time line it's when you feel it's right and your ready to do so.. I still sleep with two of Ken's t-shirts.. They have been washed but they are his.. I put them on my pillow over the pillow slip it's like he is with me..I still have the last pair of shoes he wore and took off and put in his special spot.. I won't let the kids touch them not even then my daughter is cleaning I tell her to clean around them.. last thing Ken did..

Do what feels best to you and gives you the least amount of grief. Some people need their loved one's things by them. Others need to get things removed as they bring a fresh round of grief when they are seen. If & when you do remove items, do it at your own pace (fast or slow) but do not attempt it alone. My husband dies 3 months ago. I had 2 friends remove and donate his clothing as I could do nothing but cry whenever I saw them. Again, do what gives you the least pain just do not do it alone. Darlene

I first took out the ones that would fit his son..he was the same size. I then had either my daughter or sister put the rest from the closet into garbage bags and I took them down into the basement. At least that didn't leave the clothes right where he left them. Of course I kept some...like his pajamas (which I wear), and his coat...still after two years and almost three months in the entry closet. It's not easy no matter when you do it. I thought I would wait for the right time to sort the rest of his things...but there is no good time...just isn't...it is hard no matter when you do it.

For me though, the changing the space was helpful. I started with our bedroom and made it my bedroom so I could learn to sleep again. It worked eventually.

But...there just is no easy answers. I would caution people from removing anything until it "feels" right because I have seen people just plow through after a couple of days and then regret it later.

But then again...some people need to keep busy and doing things that need to get done are their way of doing that....so I guess there just is no "one size fits all" approach.

hugs to you put one foot in front of the other.
-Diana

Right after my husband died, my son took a t shirt, pair of jeans & socks and put them all in a zip-loc bag for me. He hoped to preserve the familiar smell. It worked okay. I wear Bill's sweaters and t shirts often. Then I put them back where they belong. Clothes, shoes, wallet.......everything is where it always was and I don't expect I'll ever move it. It brings me comfort. I also brush my teeth with Bill's toothbrush. And yes, the toothbrush is getting a big ragged but............ BTW, I am at 13 months.

it has been just over 4 months for me and my wifes clothes are where they were..some of her books and kitchen utensils have been donated but the clothing will remain until i'm ready to donate them..in time most of her clothing will go to the battered womans shelter but i will always keep my favorite pieces,the ones that bring back special memories of my wife wearing them..as i always did the laundry ,not finding her socks,clothing etc ready to be rolled up or folded after drying is another reality reminder..god bless..

I think each heart and situation is different. I had my decision sorta made for me. My friend and neighbor lost everything in fire shortly after my husband died. I brought boots, shoes, and clothes knowing Keith and he were so close in size. They went to a good cause. I than found it easier in a time span not too soon after wards to let go of most other clothing. Our Union Gospel Mission for homeless. Do I still have a few - some special ones yes. I do remember almost calling to the lady who carted them away "Wait wait wait but did not" My mind said it was time my heart teetered but it was best for me.

The last shirt I seen him wear (finally let it go) I just gave to the local benefit for our neighbor needing help with cancer treatment care.
You will know in your heart when....