Ok, you win you have me beat. I am at the six week mark.

I also have not taken care of my wife's clothes. I had friends offer to take care of it alone but I said that I need to be there also. Don't do it alone! Let someone help. Someone who can help you if you break down also. I know that I will break down.

I went from wanting my wife's gone right away to not wanting them gone now. I don't which is worse.

Do what you feel is in your own heart the best for you. If you think you are ready and start to find out you are not, leave it and come back to it when you are.

No rules here, and myself, took me three months, and still I think it was too soon for myself. So listen to your head and your heart.

There's no time limit. either way you choose my heart goes out to you, because I know just how hard that is

(((hugs))) Diane

It will be twenty months on the 9th that I lost the love of my life, her clothes still hang in the closet and some in a basket on the floor. Just waiting for the right time I guess, I did trade her car in the other day for something I will actually drive. Now her car is no longer parked in the driveway but her clothes are still in the closet, I guess do what you are comfortable with when you are comfortable doing it.
Hugs,
Ron

I'm into week 8 & I think I'm sort of letting DS21 take things as he wears them one at a time. As they get washed I'm then putting them down in his space. He hasn't even started going thru the dresser drawers yet - just the closet. I noticed he started wearing his Dad's shirts right away, and the past couple weeks has started wearing the jeans & pants... I'm certainly not ready to just box them up & give them away - tho I know that once I start teaching again in August everything as far as going thru stuff will go on hold as I'll just be too busy...and that's OK as far as I'm concerned right now. I'm still on hold sorting thru the stuff anyway - maybe one morning a week on average seems to be how it's been going. I keep putting off coordinating w/a couple of DH's friends who have volunteered to go thru, catalog, and take away his model RR stuff to sell and find new homes for. Maybe when I finally get them here they'll take away some of the clothes too...

Just want to say it has been 10 months since my husband passed, and his clothes are still in the dresser and the closet. Just don't have the urge to purge

I am 28 months. I still have his bathrobe on the hook behind the door. I gave some clothes to my grown children but I kept three of his shirts that were so familiar to me in my closet. I like seeing them there. There is so much of his things still here and I don't mind.

July 11 will be 2 months. I've set goals to clean out the stuff that I want to. I'm taking my time and removing a little at a time. This morning I removed more of her bathroom things which is almost gone how. I'll go home tonight and maybe do one or two things. If I feel like. I was going to clean our closet out a few weeks ago but couldn't. I am putting stuff in totes and giving some away. Plus I am putting stuff up for me to keep and to have.

There seems to be this immediate need to get rid of the clothes. If the personal things make you feel secure..don't get rid of them. You may regret it if you do this too soon. I have small children and I have not touched a thing. I think they need to see the familiar and when they are bigger they can have a shirt or a cap..don't do anything is there is a chance you will have second thoughts.

Maggie

Take your time with anything and everything. There is no grief handbook of rules. I felt that I too had to get rid of my husband's clothes, but I didn't. I was hasty, however, in cleaning out the closet of his work jackets. Don't you know that a year later, I'm asking my brother-in-law for them back. And yes, I still have them. They are a part of my husband that I can't part with.

You will know when it is time to part with his clothing. And no, it won't be harder. Since you will be in a mental frame of mind of being ready, the process will be somewhat less painful than you currently believe it will be.

I am at 8 months and I havent touched anything in our bedroom since he passed away. I also still cannot sleep in our bedroom either. Every time I try I get too sad and get nothing done because I have to stop. I had a garage sale last weekend and just going through the garage was bad enough. I only sold things that were mine that he's been wanting to get rid of. This is just too hard. Edie

i did it during the first 2 weeks, not sorry that I did because I was still in the numb stage and we had horrible fires around here and I donated everything to the fire victims. So it worked out good for me, if I had to do it now it would be harder. Glad I didn't wait, my advise is to do it sooner than later and maybe with a friend or someone you could hold up a piece of clothing and add a memory to it. Believe it or not sometimes you can even laugh about a memory.No easy way just something that has to be done. Also I almost forgot check pockets and if wife check purses (we all leave stuff in pockets and purses)

I am so sorry, you are very new in the journey and I remember how hard it was at that time.

For the first six months after she passed I did nothing. I did laundry the week after, folded, hung and put away everything.

At six months the college where I work was having a drive for business clothes to aid students trying to get employed so I donated all of her business clothes.

About a week after the one year mark I systematically when through all her clothes and donated the useable ones to charity. My biggest dilemma was the items that were not donatable, it was hard to just through them out but in the end it was just stuff. I kept a few shirts that were very special, including her ratty old painting shirt.

Its a hard process but do it in your own time, in your own way.

Hugs.

-Pete-

There is no right or wrong time to clear them out. Do it in your time. I am 5 months, and needed to move prior to the move I gave away a good amount of his clothes, but could not bring myself to give them all away. I asked my friends forgiviness as they carried in some boxes with his clothes. They were loving and understanding. Hugs

Thanks for all of the kind words and advice. I too still have his jeans hanging and favorite t-shirt hanging on the back of the bathroom door where he left them the day he got sick which was 2/7/2011. Some of the things he had never worn before I donated but that's about it. II still sleep with his favorite jacket and a teddy bear he gave me for Valentine's day last year. That bear took on a whole new meaning on 5/24, the day he died. I'm so glad I found this site, what a blessing!

It's been a little over 4 months for me. At about the 2 month mark, I gave one of his favorite old shirts to his sister. Then a couple of weeks ago I gave a saw to his nephew and an eagle nicknack to his niece. I haven't minded the shirt or the eagle but for some reason that dang saw is eating me up. My Husband's garage was completely organized and everything had it's place. I think seeing the empty space where the saw used to be was too much so I put another saw in it's place. That's helped a little. I went a long time without changing my sheets because I didn't want to move his pillows. I hug them and rub them every night as I talk to him before going to sleep but I never moved them. When I finally said enough is enough, the sheets must be washed, our daughter took a picture of his 3 pillows before we moved them so we could make sure to put them back exactly as he left them. I no longer smell my husband on the pillows, just the cancer, so I don't smell them like I used to. But his clothes are still where he left them (all the dirty clothes, except one shirt, have been washed and put away.) His water glass, now evaporated, still sits on his dresser. His soap is still in our shower. One day I will be able to start getting rid of things but for now I find comfort in his things being where they always were. Good luck hun and listen to your heart. You can never go wrong that way!