I think you really should go, take your sister up on her offer of going with her. Especially if it's something you want to do and you haven't lost your faith, i think it would be good dor you and your healing, even though it may initially be tough. As for myself I am having real trouble with God, prayers and the church especially adter my latest loss of a loved one, my wife, it would not be good for me to go.

One reason I had my husband's funeral at the chapel at the funeral home. No memories from our church.

Ruth9999, I too think you should go. If you feel you are not ready, then listen to yourself and don't go, Only you would know how you would hold. But if something inside you is saying go, then go! I drive by the funeral home where my husband's funeral was held. & each time I see it, I remind myself he is not there. I believe his spirit is in comfort and in peace. probably watching over me and laughing at the dumb things I do. I think if the roles were reversed, and I was the deceased ,what would I like him to do. My answer would be to continue with life. To continue on in good spirit with lots of love!!. I would want him to be happy , to fulfill his dreams, To radiate and be cherished and loved back , to not be lonely ever. Yes I miss him, lots!! Not a moment of day or night I don't think about him. I learned to be who I am on my path with him. I wish you strength ! and a very tight hug!!
Meggyk

I hadnt been to church in years, and so I made a conscious decision, that this should definetely steer me towards god. Afterall, that;s who sean is with, "our god" Your husband wouldn't want you to stop going, just because he's not physically here with you, he is with you spiritually, and there hopefully will be a good support system when you are there. Many times, people will surround you with hugs and love during this time of grief. I'm going to church tomorrow, will be thinking about you and praying for you while there. Hugs carla

it could be worse your husband could've ministered there and died.
major personal life upheaval.
There are degrees of pain & not fitting.
Losing control of yourself is allowed for attendees....not expected if your husband had a working role.
oh hey- not that I actually know anyone in that position :-/

Have you spoken to your pastor/priest about it? They may be able to help you find an appropriate answer, like a different service or mass than the one you used to go to together for instance.

I broke down and cried everywhere I went. Life still has to go on, so I just had to get over the idea that I couldn't cry in public - that was a big no-no the way I was raised. I had to let that mistaken idea go. It was good for me to let it go.

Churches are sometimes called the House of God or the Lord's House, right? Just as your earthly father would not hesitate in letting you cry in his house, your Heavenly Father would not have a problem with it either. Just a thought....

Love and Hugs,
Martha

Martha has a good idea in talking to your minister. My husband died on a Sunday and my sister in law insisted on our going to church that evening. I thought she was nuts at the time, but now I'm glad she did that. It's that going back in the first time that's the hard part. Once you've done that, the rest is better. Going in with your sister would be helpful. I wish you the best.

It's been almost six years for me. I found another church.

I have talked to the minister, only because I ran into him when picking up my grandson from drivers training. I also have ran into his wife a couple of times at the grocery store. I said I was beginning to think they were stalking me. Ha ha. They both said they totally understood and that I should come back when I feel the time is right. So I think I'm going to bite the bullet this morning and just go for it. If you can't cry in church, where can you cry, right? Thanks for your responses. What a great group of people.

Ruth, so happy you are going back to church!! I just started going back about 5 weeks ago and the support is unbelievable. I look forward to going and plan to start bible study soon. Hugs Arlene

I know exactly how you feel...I had the same experience. Both of us were active in church, but my husband was more active and well known. While I did go to church and participate in activities after he died, it was very traumatic at first...I kept remembering the things we did together. Please talk to your pastor or a trusted member of your church. They do understand! Also, 2-1/2 months is a very short time to overcome these feelings. Please be kind to yourself.

I know how you feel. We always went to church together. Walked in holding hands. Sat near the front. Same pew every Sunday. I went back the first time after a month. My granddaughter and son went with me. I was still in the numb/fog feeling. The first time I went alone someone, who had not heard, asked me how my husband was. I started crying and could not stop so had to leave. It seemed to get harder in the following months. I decided i would go to Sunday School and not stay for church services. I went to a Bible Study on Mondays and the ladies circle meetings. I made the decision last night I wanted to go to church services today. I went to the early service at 8:30. I sat near the back with some friends. I stayed for Sunday School. The Choir's music was beautiful. My husband died 2 years ago. We all are different in our grieving but wanted you to know you are not alone. My husbands funeral was not at our church.

I went and it wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be. I don't know if it was because my sister was with me or if it was because of the children's program or both, but I only cried one time and that was during a Christmas song. Several people welcomed me back. I am so glad I went. I'm sure it will be difficult for a while, but this was a huge step for me. Thank you all for your input on this. Hopefully one day I can be of help to somebody here.

ruth, you are a big help to most all of us, you gave alot of folks here, hope in faith... just go for it.. you did it, Im so proud of you, and glad you were pleased with how it went. Kudos to you... and blessings, carla

My husband will be gone 2 years in February. I cried at every service up until a few months ago and now I just cry not as much. I never felt bad crying at mass it actually felt like a cleansing. I don't know when the every day crying will stop, so I just go with it I generally have quite very difficult time crying in public but not anymore, if I feel the need to cry I just do it. I'm so sorry for your loss and just remember whatever makes you comfortable will be what is right for you. There is never a right or wrong we all grieve in our own way.