Until you're broken, you don't know what you're made of. its gives you the ability to build yourself all over again but stronger and better than ever. now fix you mascara, change your playlist go out and have fun. in time you'll be happy again

It's been nearly four years for me Vickie and what a truly horrible journey this has been. Everyone exits your life and continues on with theirs as if nothing happened. Even family still have to continue in their lives and we are alone. It is so terrifying at times but thankfully, we manage to survive.

It's been 4 years for me, cancer diagnosis & death 7 months later.
Time initially was taken up with paper work....
Then time alone, how was I going to fill it??
It was then winter so I began walking the mall for these past 3 years. It helps to break up the day.
Now I have a flower garden that needs weeded/deadheading.
Do you have any hobbies?? A garden club, book club, yoga, knitting?
I have found enjoyment @ a local park with a lake that has a trail around it. I plan going there today.
A local church or hospital may offer support groups.
Our journey has new challenges, our lives have changed
Each day is unique with endless possibilities
Blessings
jdp

Vickie, it has been seven years for me; and life is so different than it was when my husband was living. The cancer diagnosis came out of the blue, no signs; John was gone seven months later.
I was devastated, had been so sure that he was going to make it. Friends who I thought would be there for me were not, so very disappointing. I now have others who have filled that void. Unfortunately, for me, I have lost all my siblings and their spouses since John passed away; and it has compounded the loss by not having my family as well. Although eligible to retire, I have continued to work Work gives my life structure, and it also gets me out of the house and among people. I still feel very much alone and miss my former life. Enjoyment comes with my grandchildren and with gardening during the summer, but it still seems as if I am trudging through life and finding things to take up time. I have been seeing a grief counselor, and he has helped tremendously; but I still struggle with all the loss and what my future looks like. I can so very much relate to how you are feeling. I envy those who have been able to "move on" and find happiness. Hopefully, that will happen with us. Roxanne

Wow.......you sound just like me!
It's so sad that the people you thought would stick around, just haven't lived up to your expectations. I get so angry as I want to shake them and say, "don't you understand, my husband died.......my life is different now....I'm not the same person anymore!"

Unfortunately I also have other things affecting my life. I was diagnosed with a neuroendocrine cancer 11 years ago......so now I have to go to doctors appointments alone, cat scans alone, and various procedures alone. No one has offered to come with to any of these.

And on top of that.......I have a 26 year old son who has been struggling with depression and anxiety before my husband died. That obviously just added to his depression......and I've been trying to help him all by myself. It's been tough!

I just don't see real happiness........and I really don't have anyone (except my 93 year old mother) to share my thoughts and feelings. No one really cares.

Curious.......What state do you live in?

oops........I think I replied in the wrong place!

I was at three years 02/11/17. My best friend/partner died of a sudden heart attack. I was 61 and will be 65 in the fall (officially a senior). Things are hitting me that he will not be there during my senior years which means I will have to translate my life again and what it all means. I am still trudging through my days, and feel lost and alone. I had to put down my almost 17 year old cat 10/28/13 (three months before Mike died) which compounded things. I have heard of the book Option B but I am starting to think that I just want to live with my memories. I retired when I was 55 but turning 65 is really affecting me as the years continue to stretch on without anything to look forward to. My faith is the only thing that is getting me through.

3.5 years here. Still painful daily, with three kids I can't just check out, I have to keep my head above water but it hurts, every milestone the children go through make it really painful because we know in the back of our minds that mom should have been here.

4.5 years for me...I have been busy rebuilding my life, being strong and now at 52, having done what needed done, I am lonely and miss him just as much...Cancer diagnosis January 15 2013...He was gone January 23rd 2013...8 Days is all we had once hit with the blow...I am still rebuilding ...Have a feeling that I will be doing so until the day I go...It's as if the day he left, he took a part of me that no matter how hard I work at rebuilding, I will never be able to able to fix that part.

It's coming to two years next month.

No friend, for me, comes close to being with her, and no one can walk this path or share any of the details, thoughts, jokes and feelings with. It is a lonely road on a day-to-day basis. The best I learned to do is to take care of the simple needs and wants and have activities/ projects to consume time and thoughts. As time draws out further it becomes more of a choice whether I want to throw a pity party at a particular time, and more often than not I don't because it doesn't help me.

There are times of course I couldn't help but to be sad but these times came further apart.

Five years for me. Today I thought it would be okay if I would just stay asleep forever. Overall I still have a good life without my husband but it wasn't the one I wanted, to be alone for the rest of my life. I should still be thankful for all he has done and prepared for me. He passed away alone overseas during the last few days of the business trip. It's hard to come to grip without saying goodbye or to be by his side. I still miss him a lot. One of my daughter and I would talk about him sometimes. I spend my time going to exercise, help with the grandchildren. Don't have any close friends but in general the friends do keep me connected with them when they have celebrations and parties which I am thankful. I go to lunch with a couple of new widow friends and exercise together, that take me out of the house.