Prayers for you and hugs I sometimes say to myself, don't cry because it is over....smile because it happened. I am the lucky one because I had his incredible love and will always have that.

KD, you are not offending anyone! This is why we are all here. Sending you prayers and hugs; I know how awful the weekends can be. Please, please, continue to write here. Even a sentence. And you don't even have to preface it with an explanation - that was a strange (and oddly good) thing I noticed through the years, talking with other widows/widowers. We talk in shorthand, and get it immediately.

Thanks so much for your replies. This group has really help me.

Sorry you are having such a rough day and weekend. For many (if not most) couples, weekends are when they spend the most time together, so it makes sense that the weekends would be the hardest. Hang in there.......the weekend is almost over and you're gonna make it! (((Hugs)))))

Sylvia

I'm going through the same thing. By the end of the week I'm drained. But I have been trying to cook more and even tried cooking new things. I even started to put puzzles together. Stay strong. You are not alone. The people in this support group are amazing. Stay strong. And send hugs and love your way

You are never alone. My husband will be passed on for 2 years in march. It doesnt get easier, it only is more tolerable, and accepted. Weekends are still very hard for me, don't ever feel that you are offending anyone. We are all here to grieve, and have one another to count on. So vent, cry. get angry, smile, laugh, and know that your husband/wife, is still here with you in spirit. and wants only the best for each and every one of us.. Much love and hugs carla

Oh my dear we are all much the same it appears but it still doesn't make it feel any easier does it. I have had counselling sessions, met with bereavement groups, have supportive family and friends, yet these last few days have been awful. The loss of my husband seems much more recent than the almost ten weeks it has been. I can't see any light at the end of the tunnel, like many of you, my husband was my soulmate and life without him seems useless.
I like to be as positive as I can usually but tonight it's all gone. K

Me too. I lost my husband after 31 years of a wonderful marriage on Thanksgiving I Niall you it was a lot easier as I was focused on arrangements, holidays etc... but the past few days it has hit me hard. I put on a good front for every one but inside I feel like a part of me died with him. For the past few years we have been dealing with his health issues. Heart attacks, cancer ,dialysis and finally a kidney transplant things were on the upswing and I just had retired early so we could finally begin doing all those things we wanted. Yet unexpectedly he passed. So know I find myself 56nyears old and missing my very best friend... perhaps on the bad days I can get support from others like us but yes those hard days are tough!

Any suggestions on how to make a bad day survivable? Usually walking my golden retriever helps but today it is cold and snowy and the tears keep on coming

My husband died in December. I miss him so much. I miss US...you know? You're not alone! OK, advice for bad day...Sometimes you just need a good cry, or sing sad love songs. I try exercise...I got a 'fit board' for Christmas I hate exercise...but it really does help with serotonin levels...Laugh at something...maybe even yourself...(I do idiotic things ALL the time) I think the thing that helps me most is just trusting in God., and not leaning on my own understanding.

Only thing I found was I gave myself permission to have some days that it was a tearful day or rough day. Then as more time passed I would cut the time down shorter and shorter each time. I set time limits....today all day then at 5PM I have to pull it together etc......So as I was so miserable etc I knew it was on a limited time. It was a mind game but for me it worked. Sounds silly or crazy....but the pain was so intense and you feel so alone. Time just seems to longer and lonely. So if I set those limits I'd go to a book store or get a coffee or library.....anything to just be around other people even if I wasn't up to real interaction. I'm finding that technique harder to enforce this time as I'm caring for my present husband during his cancer. The grief wants to pile on the past grief it seems. I'm finding this board a real help this go round. I wish you luck SassySue....with that handle I'm sure you'll find a technique that works for you.

Where there activities you did before the death of your spouse? Yoga, bowling, walking-am walking the mall during the cold weather. A local hospital, church could offer support groups, possibly developing friendships for the times we are alone/especially evening & weekends.

Grief is part of the journey, it is overwhelming @ times, take small steps-you got up, you dressed, you ate, these are all positive accomplishments, as you move forward:-)
jdp

I am at nearly seven years, and I still have "bad days." It is not often, but I cannot imagine a time when those times won't exist. I loved my husband with all my heart and soul as so many others on this site. We all know that this is a difficult road to travel. The pain dulls as the years progress, but it is still there for me. Roxanne