Oh my goodness, sorry you had to hear that, I can't imagine anyone being so insensitive. Could he have been trying to make a (cruel) joke? Please feel my arms around you giving you a really big hug. The cake sounds like a wonderful idea, I'd add ice cream too! Hugs,
Wendy

((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))

That is beyond insensitive.

You know how much you were loved. And STILL are.
Ignore him...pass the cake...and nobody gets hurt!

love,
Carla

So sorry Tru....refused to hold on to it...my heart goes out to you...

Yes, don't buy it. No one deserves to be treated like that. That was just bitterness from a bitter or hurting person. In any event, it's not something you should own. Good choice on the cake..

Tru, your father's an asshole. He's such an ass that no one wants to be around him, so he lashes out at the last person he's got left - you - and says that to you. He's saying to you what is true about himself, not about you.

You have tried and tried and tried. There comes a point where you have to make a stand for yourself and walk away. This is that point. You have given loads of love and care and he has repaid you with abuse. Walk away from it. I know that's harsh, and I know we are supposed to honor our parents, but at this point he is the one who has chosen not to be a father but an abuser. He has relinquished his right to that honor, by his own choice.

You were loved very much by your husband. In your heart-of-hearts you know that.

Sending you Love, Hugs, and Prayers, Martha

hold your head up...and walk away - it's his loss - how awful.

Agree with IClaimTheCross, bitter person.

Martha is so right. My MIke would do the same. He had no one else to allienate so took it out on me. They know you won't leave them. Just look to the Lord for love fill up as I use to call it......otherwise you leave yourself open for hits. Prayers for healing and for the P.I.T.A (pain in the ass) Dad to come to realization that he needs to be grateful instead of abusive.
Feel the hugs, love and prayers sent your way girl. xoxo

((((Hugs))) That is totally unacceptable and cruel. Most of us have to distance ourselves from some family and/or friends. We have enough on our plate without subjecting ourselves to those who hurt us. Take care, Sandra

would that be chocolate cake????

Hugs sent to you

You do not have to take this type of abuse from anyone, he is lashing out, get out of the line of fire, after all you are going through you do not need this....Enjoy your cake and anything else to soothe your soul....I too agree very insensitive...Get away from him.
Sally

I think it is hard to walk away from a parent - so I don't know if that would be the right choice. But - I also think some people, as they get older in particular, say things that are totally not true, extremely hurtful, and just completely out of line. Maybe it's because I'm a special ed teacher, and I had a father with "brain" problems and my sister's husband began at the age of 55 to have problems in his frontal lobe (which controls common sense, compassion, understanding - been in a nursing home for years now) that I tend to look at it a little less harsh.

Horrible comment - of course - but some people just lack mental awareness and sense. He is the one with the problem and you have to allow it to go right over your head.

I've had people (even my own kids) say very hurtful things to me - so I can understand how you feel - it's terrible we often can not get the understanding and support from family in particular.

Of course - these are the reasons your father has the "problems" and "issues" that he does. Unfortunately these people are often the ones to don't recognize anything is wrong with them.

It is now time to cut ties. Call his health care provider to arrange for a home care worker to check on him and disappear from his life. Even then he won't understand what is happening. He is just a bitter hateful old man who has destroyed everything that ever loved him. I feel sorry for the dog you left with him.

You knew your husband better than your dad did. Your father has mental problems. It's evident. Don't take those words to heart!

We all recognize that the problem is HIM, not YOU. It's so hurtful, but keep this thought in mind. You are OK. He is NOT. Maybe something is bothering him - he's in an older generation than you. He may be feeling sorry for himself and he is trying to bring you down to his level. Anyway, I try to still remember what Jesus said, "Father, forgive them for they know not what they do,"

The truth is what matters. And you know the truth. Your sweet love did love you very much whether your father acknowledges it or not. Good luck in dealing with this family interaction. We here support you!