Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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Death & Dying
/ Widows & Widowers Support Group

Another month is gone.

dlacosta
dlacosta

Today marks another month of a life lost way to soon. It's been 5 months now. I don't feel like I'm healing, in fact just the opposite. I still wake up and cry every morning. I cry morning, noon and night. I have no idea a what life without him looks like, other than sad and lonely. I am seeing a therapist. Sometimes I think it's helping and other times I think I'm wasting my money. How do I move on when there are still so many unanswered questions? I miss his beautiful smile, his silly jokes and the feel of his arms around me. I miss all the little annoying sounds he would make, the fact that it took him forever to pick out a piece of meat to grill. 


Our daughter was due to have her first baby yesterday. He should be here. He was so excited. I know I should be excited and I am, but I think the grief is so powerful it is taking away from the excitement. That isn't fair to her or the baby. I am trying to feel differently about it. 


Thank you all for being here for me to vent to and get it out. I am. So thankful for finding this group. I feel like anything I say or feel here is ok as you are going through it also. I'm going to quit rambling now and try to pull myself together. If that doesn't work, I'm going back to bed and hope for a better tomorrow. ❤️

avmom
avmom
You need just to keep living, one day at a time. It has been almost 6 months since I lost my husband. I still cry all the times, many times out of nowhere the tears flow. You have a beautiful grandchild who is coming into this world. Focus on this great event. Think of ways you can tell your grandchild when it is older about your husbAnd. I try not to focus on my husbands death but the fun times and the funny things he would do. My kids get a kick out of talking about how accident prone he was. It really does get better in time.
Msbklyn
Msbklyn
I so know they experience of becoming a grandmother while grieving the loss of your husband. My daughter gave birth to our first grandchild on my husband's first anniversary. We are coming up on her first birthday in a few weeks and don't know how it will be. Last year was overwhelming, the most emotional day of my life, see sawing between her birth at 3 am and visiting the cemetery at 3 pm. I ended the day at a comedy show benefit! It was kind of fitting. But this year feels diffferent. Almost missing him more if that's possible. But we talk and laugh about him a lot and will continue to do so. I felt that it was difficult to support my daughter during her pregnancy as I was in such grief. But at the same time, we shared so much with the baby coming. It's like the irony of life. Just hang on for the crazy experience. Being a grandma is awesome though. And don't forget, it's a piece of our husbands we get to treasure!
Deodarglow
Deodarglow
Please don't expect yourself to be further along than you are. At 5 months and 6 months I was crying every day also. Those were some of the worst days for me. It was really all sinking in at a deep level. Just take care of yourself minute by minute and be kind to yourself, just as though you were your own child.