Songs are one of the most powerful memory triggers - both good and bad. For most of us, when we hear a song from our youth (when we were more apt to listen to songs), we can flashback to a memory when we were listening to that specific song. So too in our grieving.

There are some songs Juanita and I listened to that were her favorites. I am only just getting to the point where I am able to again listen to a lot of them - but until earlier today - no problem listening to music in the car because Juanita did not like to listen to music in the car. So I have just been going for drives, listening to music in the car. But until today, not in the house.

I've had my CATV turned off now for 3 1/2 months. Juanita always had to have the TV on, whether she was watching in or not - she liked the background noise. And her last 4 1/2 months she was couch ridden, always watching TV when she wasn't praying or interceding or receiving visitors. Little House on the Prairie and the Waltons were her favorites (I bet I've seen each episode at least 10 times). So for me, the TV was a huge trigger for grief, and so I've chosen to be in a silent house for 3 1/2 months. But praise God, earlier today was the first day I was able to put a movie in (that was something "we" did), and when it was done, I decided to put in a music CD to listen to in the house (that was a huge breakthrough for me). But there is one Christian CD that was our favorite and we played it all the time. It is the only one I have been unable to listen to in the car. As this fog lifts and my thinking improves, I am starting to make these connections as to why some things I do, and some I just couldn't (some, still can't). It is all about the "we" stuff.

I do find music is soothing to my soul in this hard time. Music is a uniquely human attribute - part of how we were created by God. I can't sing or play a note, but I sure do love listening to all kinds of music. Rock n Roll, Country Western, Bluegrass, Christian. Only music I have difficulty with is Rap - not of my generation I guess (that and Lawrence Welk) ~ Scott

Joann ...I clicked on YouTube and found Karen Carpenter's redition of it. Sorry, but I couldn't last the first minute. I haven't wept for 3 weeks (Barbara passed away in March) but the song brought on such memories. I haven't listened to any of "our" songs since that day, and we had a collection of about 1,000. And it is only recently in the past 4 weeks that I have been able to watch anything at all on TV, mainly The News. Even when I see Barbara's favourite TV programme titles advertised, I almost weep. One "funny" instance was when a programme I was watching had Foreigner singing "I wanna know what Love is" , one of Barbara's favourites, I simply HAD to switch over to another channel. But lo and behold !!!! On the advert then showing came a song which I used to sing to Barbara myself,. " Blow me a Kiss from across the Room, say I look nice when I'm not." THAT was in the middle of the advert. ....Sometimes you cannot win !

So many songs hit me, but one (a more recent song) I heard in May and now have the CD and listen to it a bit more than I should... The song is "Open up Your Eyes" by Daughtry. I can't help but feel that when I heard it in May it was a message from Shane... it even mentions a single rose... I know I will be with Shane again, and I can hardly wait. Hugs, Amy

My wife and I enjoyed the musical South Pacific. I just listened to Some Enchanted Evening again, to remind myself of her.

I remember hearing the end of the world, but I never knew about Sylvia Dee. She also wrote the lyrics to Too Young.

Scott, I don't understand rap either, but I do sorta like Lawrence Welk!

Still so hard for me to listen to any type of music! Doesn't seem to matter, something will trigger a memory. Either the time, the place, the year, just too hard now. Hugs to all, Michele

MIchele, I should have mentioned that wasn't able to listen to music for 6 months, for the same reason as you, it made me sad. And since I used to listen to music to put myself to sleep, I started taking OTC meds for sleeping. But I'm gradually trying to get myself back into it. Listened to my ipod for the first time a few days ago.

Funny but I've been sing to myself all day one line out of a old song over and over.
" another Saturday night and I ain't got nobody..."
For some reason I'm getting a kick out of I, strange?

This post and these replies really speak to me. Steve and I met because of our love for music. We met in our high school marching band. Music was always a very important part of our lives. The first time I went to his house we listened to South Pacific. We loved musicals at the time most of our friends were crazy over the Beatles.
And later on the Carpenters were truly favorites of ours.

I had trouble listening to music for about a year after he passed (he has been gone now 2 years and 20 days) but am now starting to find joy in it again. In fact in November I will be going on a jazz cruise with a friend I've known since grammar school. She lost her husband last year.

I have found that some songs make me ball like a baby but others can really help me get into a better mood. The 12th of Never by Johnny Mathis still makes me cry buckets. It was "our" song.

My wishes for a good night's sleep for everyone.
Marsha

Johnny Mathis! We saw him in person.

I have to add one more oldie but goodie song....

Always something there to remind me

Artist .. RB Greaves

You can see it on U-tube

JoAnne, I remember that one too. It sort of fits, but it's funny how the story it tells is sad, and yet R. B. Greaves sang it in such an upbeat style.I guess he was hopeful of getting his girl back. I wish I could.

Slimbear,
How wonderful for you to see him live! We were married on the 12th of February so it was really significant for us.

Songs that keep getting to me are Landslide, Freebird, Betterman, and just about anything by the Eagles...and Bittersweet Symphony by the Verve..go to be careful when I listen to the radio these days..

However, right now I'm fortunate as far as music goes..the only song stuck in my head is this anti-Harper song I heard the other day...

Songs are triggers for me, but i still listen i find myself wanting to be miserable at times and music helps. its kinda an upbeat love song but every word could be about us. "Your still the one"