Maybe if you put it in writing. You could write her a note telling that you appreciate what she is doing but that you want to make your own meals from now on and please do not bring me any more food. She may take a burn about it but so be it. You have to do what is best for you and if she is forcing something on you well that's just not right.

Just tell her if she keeps doing this you will never learn how to do this on your own. Ask her to help you be self sufficient.

Inform her that she is enabling you in being dependant and what you really need is a friend who allows you the freedom to journey on independently, to make your own decisions on food and health. Advise her your therapist (DS) has suggested you need to take charge of your nutrition and health. Next I suggest you take cooking lessons, find recipes and take charge of your health. Your tastebuds will thank you for it. Who knows, you may find a hidden talent!

Hey Joe,
I think Jeff's on to something. Ask her if she would come over one night and help you learn how to cook a certain dish. While putting it together you could taste test as you go and make adjustments to it to your liking. Maybe this way if she makes you anything else she will at least know what your tastes are. But also while doing this let her know that your really trying to do things on you own. I believe this lady may have her sights set. You never know.
Take care, Tim

My Dad had this problem as well. Good church lady ment well but he just told her he was trying on his own thank you. He dug out Mum's cookbooks and starting making meals and freezing them. Also taught himself to bake. He was 80.
Make your self cook. Look into cooking lesson but most of all force yourself to eat.
We all go through this not wanting to eat.
The first year I lost 178 lbs yes you read it right . I was a very and still very obese.
With my vision I don't cook often. Really getting to like frozen tv dinners and other frozen meals as back up.

Best policy is honesty... but within reason. Id just tell her, that you so appreciate her trying to help, but that right now you need your time to grieve, and have plenty of people helping, and would not want to waster her food. That is a delicate situation.. Im sorry your having to deal with it. People have such great intentions, but dont always think things through thoroughly.. lol.. hope all works out. Much love and hugs carla

Hi Joe -

I dealing with the not eating situation. I have lost 40 lbs. in
a little over 8 months. Nothing appeals to me. I just don't
have an appetite. Fortunately, everyone has given up trying
to force feed me.

A woman neighbor meaning well did try to give some dishes
to me but ( and I feel guilty saying this ) she is not a good
cook. Her husband likes her cooking but he has no choice.

To stop her, I slid some page of some written material ( some
type of advertising ) into a folder and waved it at her in a
gentle fashion. I did not lie to her. I just said I have to follow a
very, very strict diet as I was waving the folder. That was the
last of it.

For the first time in many, many years, I am now trying to stop
losing weight. I know my wife would get a kick out of that.

Blessings -

Darrell

I don't stop in much here anymore but this caught my attention.
Thank her for the effort but explain that everything tastes like cardboard. (it did for me at your stage) Then check out sites that offer delivery or pick up for things you like, order two meals and send one over to her as a thank you.

Eat.

Grieving takes a lot out of you even if you don't move much, anxiety burns calories and water. I know eating alone is hard, but not eating alone is hard on your body, so treat yourself well. The internet has all sorts of sites for recipe's, check them out and freeze into meal portions what you don't eat. Maybe join a meet up dining group, (Foodies) and try a few that seem interesting.
Look up ask your wife are ya doing it right?( nothing says you can't ask her opinion and you just might get some feed back (pardon the pun)


Hugs of support.
Jewell

Hey Joe, you've gotten a lot of really good advice here! I love the suggestion that you need to start preparing food for yourself. Telling her you are on a special diet is okay, I just hope she doesn't ask what kind of special diet and then try to cook that food!

And you do need to start eating. Since I've always struggled with weight, I was surely hoping the Grief Diet would last longer than it did but nope, it left after about two weeks.

And how about a doctor's checkup? Make sure there's nothing going on that is hidden.

Meat and potatoes...that should put some weight back on. There are really good mashed potatoes already made at the market, pair that with something you grill like a steak or a chop or hamburger. Find something you like to snack on and right now, you can eat high calorie stuff if you want to regain weight.

Good luck, stay strong with the neighbor. And when you begin to gain weight, she will have no reason to even think about preparing meals for you!

MysticDay

I told my friends that I have severe food allergies and they were afraid to kill me and stopped cooking for me.

Roz

Joe, Jeff and Darrell gave some really great advice - especially so as not to hurt her feelings. Especially because..damn - she means well.

I lost 20 pounds, and I was only 125. I hadn't weighed 105 since I was in sixth grade - it wasn't pretty. I looked like something out the Walking Dead, and not the live ones. And I was eating! Stress and grief take a lot out of you (like, duh), and even if you resort to eating sandwiches 3 times a day, whatever it takes. Do the Ensure thing if you need to. Hit up Dairy Queen. This will balance itself out with time, believe me. Marsha