Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
Next Thursday, april 5, will be one month since my boyfriend, Derrick, was taken off life support. There are definitely less times i cry during the day, but now when the tears do come, they come worse. I developed anxiety, and actually had an anxiety attack at work a few days ago. I wasn't sure if this is what it was, but I did sign up for an online grief counselor, and I described how I felt to her so she's the one that told me what I just experienced.
It feels like it just happened yesterday, but at the same time it feels like it happened months ago. I miss him so much everyday. We recently found out the woman that hit him while he was on his motorcycle is just getting a ticket for failing to yield to right of way. That's it. She took my boyfriends life. She took away a brother, a son, a friend, etc. I know people tell me "hitting him wasn't on her agenda" but losing him was not on our agenda. I'm sure getting killed was not on his agenda either. I have 0 sympathy for this lady. All because she wanted to go to get fast food. Her stupid craving for fast food cost a 23 year old's life. We had so many future plans, and now that's all crumbled. not even crumbled, it's just gone. I have to start over, without him. And it hurts.
I recieved quite a life lesson at 22 years old, didn't I?
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Old Hillbilly Wisdom:Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong.Keep skunks, bankers, and politicians at a distance.Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.Words that soak into your ears are whispered, not yelled.The best sermons are lived, not preached.If you don't take the time to do it right, you'll find the...
My husband of 51 years passed away 7 weeks ago. So I am new to this sight. Everyone here are such loving and caring people. Hugs
https://www.dailystrength.org/group/widows-widowers/discussion/who-needs-to-learn-the-lessons-of-grief
As for the woman who caused this accident, it is very unfair too that she only got away with a ticket. But for your sake please forgive her. Not because she is deserving of your forgiveness, but so that you can move on in life without feeling to have to get even with her. Sometimes punishment comes in the form of a lifetime of guilt, and that is a punishment that is severe enough. You need to release that resentment, so you can give proper attention to dealing with the pangs of sadness that grief brings you. Don't run away from them - you are strong enough, and with time, you will eventually find yourself.
I know forgiveness is hard. I have lost 2 family members to drunk drivers. They were pedestrians. I have to be very careful here because the pedestrians always have the right-away. At night they seemingly come out of nowhere and just start crossing the street - often in dark clothing.
I know your boyfriend was the victim of negligence. I still remember the shock I felt when the cops came to our house to tell us my brother had been killed instantly. I was 16, and he was 19. I am so sorry for your loss. The cab driver who hit my brother was out driving his cab the very next day!
I am still trying to forgive those I feel did not try to keep my husband alive, and especially those in the medical field. To clarify, he had cancer; it was one of my sisters who was crippled for life until she finally overdosed.