Hi My name is Stella and I lost my husband Jesse Nov 2, 2006 suddenly to a massive heart attack. We we're married for 33 beautiful years. He was only 54.
My advice to you would be to continue to come on to this site. This is one place where you will find comfort, strength and understanding. Nobody knows what we are going through except each other.
This journey we must travel is a hard one. It's been two years for me and each day is still a struggle, but I know that when I feel I can't go on, I come to this site and find comfort and encouraging words to keep me going. The relationship you form with the many others who know your pain is awsome. We are here for you, whenever you feel like talking. We will travel on this journey together, we will pick each other up when we fall. We are each others strength. Sending you a Big Hug filled with comfort, strength, love and friendship.....Stella

Hi my name is joanie and i am so sorry for your loss. All i can say is stay on this site. The people are sooo supportive and kind and know what you are going through. If if wasn't for them I don't know what I would have done. We're all here for ya!
hugs

Hi my name is Cheryle and I lost my husband on Father's day 2008 13 weeks after being diagnosed with plumonary Fibrosis. I found DS out of absoulute desperation for help, to find anyone who could understand what I was feeling and not think that I had flipped my lid. Thans Everyone. We were married 28 years and they were the best years of my life.I can feel your pain as can the Ds family and Stella is right.Continue to visit this site,read the post join in the discussions and even ask for advise. I have found that writing the journal is very helpful.I wish peace and comfort and if you need to talk I'll be here.

Hi Im Deb, I came to this site last September(08) after loosing my husband of 20 years to a brain tumor. I found that this site has helped me alot, the same as the others have said, when you feel that you cant go on, come to this site there is always someone to give advice and listen if you need to talk. I have found many wonderful friends on here.Hang in there, you are not alone , take care, love Deb

Hi Paula, I'm Sharon and my husband died 6/15/07 from lung cancer. He had beaten cancer (lymphoma) in 2000 but this time he only lasted 10 weeks. Sometimes I'm doing better, other times I'm falling apart. This site means the world to me and it will be here for you, too.
You can message me anytime you need support. Or just post and we all will reply. Hugs to you. Sharon

Hello Paula..I was 44 years old when my husband passed away very suddenly of an AVM in July 2007. He was just 50 and we had 5 kids. He woke up one morning looked at me and said"baby something doesn't feel right" those were the last words I ever heard again. He fell onto our bed and died. I thought I was going to die along with him. When I found DS on the computer it, became an obsession. I couldn't believe how many people were in the same boat. I love the people here and actually have become friends with some of them off the site. Listen when I tell you things will get better I know you don't think so but, it will. Stick with your support group here on DS and you will get stronger everyday
Hugs...Dorothy

Hi Paula - I'm Patricia and my husband died in 03 while I was still going through chemotherapy for advanced stage cancer. I would say for using DS with your healing is to jump right on in and find the comfort and friendships that will contribute to your healing. I still feel very much married to my husband/best friend and I live with the wonderful memories of our life together. That is what helps me to survive. (((HUGS))) Patricia

Hi Paula, my name is Barbara. I've been coming to Daily Strength since I was a caregiver to my late husband who had a cancerous brain tumor; and, now in this Widows group, since he passed in late October, 2008.

It's a really great place. I think you will feel welcome and you will meet many people who understand what you are experiencing.

There is no "right or wrong" way of getting involved. You can read about others and ask to be added as a DS "friend." That's usually a great start. But if you are a little shy, you can just read other peoples postings and "pipe in" when you feel you may have something to add.

I am so very sorry for you tragic loss. I hope that you will find comfort in our site. Love and hugs, Barbara

Hi I am Judy . I am so sorry about your husband. My husband passed away four months ago. After everyone back to their normal lives I was forced to face my grief. I don't know how I would have. if not for everyone here. They wrap you around in a shield of love and support. I started writing in the journal. It is my way to let out what I'm feeling or thinking about. Please stay here with us....lol Judy

My advice is you should do whatever your comfort level permits. My personal experience is the people here are very supportive and definitely empathetic. Feel free to share your feelings, concerns.
For myself I lost my hubby of 20 years this past November 08 due to a virulent form of acute leukemia. I found out about this group this a woman from a general self help, advocacy group I'm a member of.
I agree with the other responses concerning this site. You will find messages of encouragement to try to keep you going. Join in in what ever level you're comfortable with.

You will find this a safe place where you can speak your heart and somewhere someone has had the exact same feeling. i have been here almost a year and some days hugs from people have been my only survival. We are here for you, to hug, to answer questions, to listen and not judge. Bless you

By now you have read many great replies that hopefully have convinced you that this is a great site and they have answered the question of WHY you should use this site. As a guy I am going to try to answer the question that I think you asked How to use the site.

There may be many others who have different suggestions but here is what I would suggest

1- Start out each day reading the recent discussions especially those that seem to hit a nerve.
2- Read the replies to the discussions and whenever a reply impresses you click on the user ID (under the little photo or image) of the person who wrote the reply and read about them on their Profile.
3- If they have journal entries read some of those.
4- Read their Hug book also
5- If your instincts tell you that this person may be helpful to you and that they may be a great friend ask them to become your friend click the Add as a friend under their photo (if they have one)
6- I am sure you will get many people who would like to be your friend you will start hugging each other and sending messages to each other.
7- Look at your own profile you will see that you can set your mood at the upper left corner. That is more helpful than you might think.
8- Once you get going with friends go to your profile whenever you want to investigate what is going on and check your hugbook and messages. You will also start getting emails whenever someone sends you a message or Hug

I hope this helps please feel free to contact me if you want some more advice about the How

Love
Tom

When i found this site after my man was killed in a car crash I used to just read stuff. Then slowly I plucked up the courage to ask questions and the result is truely amazing. (I asked on here cos I was too afraid to ask my dear friends as they would have thought me truely made and would have had me locked up!)

Everyone on here is willing to share their experiences and make you feel dare i say 'normal' in the most unnormal, horrendous situation that you are in that no one around you can possibly imagine. not because they dont love you but because we all suffer in such different ways depending on our relationships with our loved ones. Also some of our nearest friends are also trying to make sense of it all too.

What I have found is that there is always someone (due to the masses of people on here) who have either thought like you or had that experience and are willing to help you through the moment. The most important thing that you need to do is ask! Difficult I know when you are in an alien world and possibly not the sort of thing that you would normally do - but believe me it works. I also found keeping a journal good - I started it a few months after my man died and now it is like looking back on an old diary and thinking - phew did all that really happen - cos your emotions and thoughts are going to be all over for a while yet.

I wish you all the love and support in your journey and rest assured there are people here to help.
LNO

Paula,
My husband died on New Year's Eve also. But not suddenly, he was at at home with Hospice care after battling lung cancer for over a year. I found this site just a short time ago and have found it very helpful...you can write in a journal, ask people to be your "friend", give and receive hugs, respond to discussions, or whatever seems to help you. I'm not sure what I'm doing either, but I am learning. Lots of support and good people here.

My name is Shirley and my wonderful husband of 38 years died July 15, 2008 of a heart attack. I am new to DS and find it is very helpful to read all the thoughts and advice from everyone. It is good to know that what I am feeling, so is everyone else. The few times I have written a comment, I have received hugs from DS members. It is a good tool to help you in those moments you need a shoulder to cry on. Good luck. Shirley