Widows & Widowers Support Group

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Absentminded...

ladybjt
ladybjt

so this afternoon my granddaughter, two of my friends, and I went to our local community theater for a show. I was really enjoying the show.  One of the first times since my husband's sudden death two months ago that I really felt halfway good. You know how they tell you to turn off your cell phones? Well, I thought I had mine off, but apparently I didn't. It went off at about 3/4 through the show. I was mortified and silenced it right away. When the show concluded, a gentleman who was seated in front of me stood up and started berating me. His parting remark was"you can't fix stupid." I started sobbing. My friends explained to him that I had just lost not only my husband, but also my mother. He said in a loud voice "I don't care. That doesn't make any difference!"  That broke my heart. My husband's death doesn't make any difference??? It makes a difference to me, it makes a difference to our two sons, it makes a difference to our grandchildren, to his sister and brother, his elderly parents who are crushed, and all his friends. I am sorry I left my phone on and caused this man so much pain. I am still crying.

Missmyanne
Missmyanne
He is right....You can't fix stupid!!! He was rude,insensitive and most of all stupid. You were only in error. Try not to let people like that bother you. They are not worth our time or energy!!!
Msbklyn
Msbklyn
So sorry you had that horrible experience. It's hard to believe how ignorant some people can be. Have a good cry though as it helps to get out the emotion. I remember the ups and downs in the beginning. It was a relief to have a good day and it stinks that someone ruined that moment for you. Just know that you will have more good days again. I wish you peace
ladybjt
ladybjt
From the bottom of my heart, thank you so much to both of you. I don't really know how I would have made it through the last few weeks without the caring supportive help I have received here. Hugs!
parrotluvr
parrotluvr
That man was horrible but you can be quite sure that his is not a happy life. I'm sorry that this happened to you. I would have had the same reaction that you did. My husband died a little less than 3 weeks ago and I know that I am making mistakes just like yours with the phone. Right now it seems I can't remember anything and seem to lose everything I touch. Just try to keep in mind that most people are caring even if that one man is not.
roxanne809
roxanne809
I simply cannot believe how some people can act towards others. I am so sorry that someone was so rude and downright hateful to you. You certainly didn't deserve it, and you just have to ignore such insensitive behavior. Please don't waste another minute thinking about that jerk. Hugs to you. Roxanne
staygolden3
staygolden3
There but for the grace of God go he......

Let it go sweetie.....wipe your tears, he's not worth your energy...

Warm comforting hugs dear lady,
Darcie
raininseattle
raininseattle
That man is despicable and has no compassion, and acts like a three year-old child. I'm sorry to say this hun, but you have to rise above it. If you let it bother you it will only increase your suffering. Most people are not like that, and most days will not be like that.

Part of trying to survive grief is to understand where to spare your energy to tend to your absolute needs.
ladybjt
ladybjt
Again, thank you to all of you who offered comforting words. I am truly thankful and blessed to have found DS. You are the best! Hugs! Betty
Savannah17
Savannah17
What a selfish, insensitive man! I am so sorry for your loss.
geo70
geo70
There are times when dropping the F bomb is completely appropriate, that sounds like one of those times.
staygolden3
staygolden3
Actually I like to send up a silent little prayer for people like that. I figure they need it as they must be miserable....
:)
Darcie
AfterMom
AfterMom
Life has a 100% mortality rate. Death will visit this man, as it has robbed us, so it will him.
Then who will be without excuse?
You forgot a small thing. Everybody does.
Take heart, our dear friend.
HUG
woodfencing
woodfencing
Don't cry any more over his stupididity and cruelty. After my husband died, I was in the grocery store, trying to buy things and have a Thanksgiving dinner for some friends, but it was extremely difficult. I was already having an anxiety attack when I asked the butcher where the oysters were. He waved is hand like, "Over there". When I said "I don't see them" he gruffly retorted "What we have is over there" and went on to another customer. I went
over to the wall at the crowded supermarket, and started banging my head on it sobbing loudly and sputtering "People are so mean. People are so mean" over and over again, The area cleared out real fast! My friend was totally unembarrassed but got me out of there before the cops could come round me up.
refurb
refurb
The guy is a turd and it seems never loved anyone truly but himself
AfterMom
AfterMom
@woodfencing OMGosh, THANKS for posting that!!!! We are ALL the same, aren't we?!
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