Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
Tonight I was chatting with a friend and the topic about bank accounts came up. I told my friend that I still want to keep my husband's name on our checking account for sentimental reasons. I just don't want to take his name off. My friend busted out laughing about my reason for keeping my husband's name and I got a sense from him that this was something silly to him. I felt a bit offended.
Maybe it's because I make things seem so easy for people or maybe a lot of time has passed that people think I am not grieving anymore. I wish people would be a little more sensitive sometimes.
Maybe it's because I make things seem so easy for people or maybe a lot of time has passed that people think I am not grieving anymore. I wish people would be a little more sensitive sometimes.
I was also told by my lawyer later on I may have problems with tax returns with his name on banking things - and estate things that the kids would deal with if I should expire...
BUT laughter at your thoughts of keeping his name there very rude - and uncaring. I sometimes wonder how many people who do these things get bit when it happens to me...
Hugs
Cathy
your friend would have died laughing at me. i won't even accept a new grocery card to get the savings because it would mean a new card without his name. the card is attached to his name only and to his email account which i don't have access to.
it seems these days that no matter how old you are strangers are always calling you by your first name? I'm not sure whatever happened to mr. and mrs.?
I still need to hear Mrs...and right now if it means paying extra at the grocery store...i just have to do it.
My son has a medical condition and has appts at the hospital every 6 months. He has had the same doc there since birth and she knew my Paul well as well as me and our whole family. They phoned to pre-register for his appt and asked me "you're the only one listed as Aiden's guardian, is this correct?"
I couldn't believe it, how much trouble would it seriously be to keep his daddy's name on file as his father?? I had to tell the receptionist what happened and it just could have been avoided...
our internet and cable is still in his name. I don't want to change that.
with that, i think i'm on the opposite end of the spectrum from most of the replies. i took my husband's name off probably a month or two after he passed and i was sad when i did it. you see, i work in the fraud department for a bank and i see people lose thousands of dollars daily. sometimes it is when people pretend to be a deceased person because the bank was never informed of the account-holder's passing.
ultimately, it is up to you to do what you want, when you want. while i may have taken my husband's name off our bank accounts, changed my beneficiaries to our nieces, nephews and his favorite cousin and refinanced the house, i haven't done anything with his personal belongings. i've given nothing away to family or friends and most stuff is where he left it.
take care.
~karie