Thank God every day and find any little thing to make you smile. It's not easy, but YOU are the only one that can get through this loss. Your Love would want it so.

I am so very sorry that you lost your love. Yes, of course you feel like your entire life has crumbled. In many ways it has, but you can rebuild it. After many tears and working through this awful grief, with time you will begin to see some light. I lost my husband 3 years ago, after a sudden cardiac arrest, he died 30 days later. He was only 59. I didn’t think nor did I even want to survive. I needed to know when the pain would be over. It took time. I continued to work, tried to stay engaged with life and met new people who shared this loss in common. Reach out to bereavement groups, through hospitals or churches or other organizations. I just took one day at a time and I can say most days now, I am ok. Missing him every day but I’m ok. Take care of yourself by trying to eat well, drink a lot of water and exercise if possible. I believe that this helps tremendously. I know that when I feel better physically I am better emotionally. Try looking into Griefshare and Soaring spirits international. They offer resources that can help. Come here and vent and look for the support that you will need. I know that it has helped me. Marybeth

He passed of a massive heart attack . He left for the gym , told me he loved me and gave me a kiss..He got to the gym and was in great spirits , then started working out. An hour after he left the house-after that kiss I will never forget and after he said he loved me.....he was gone from my world.

My husband passed away in July of 2016. I still struggle DAILY as I try to continue on without him. He was my ROCK! we did EVERYTHING together. Vacationed, worked, did estimates for his tree service company, rode our Harleys, ate all our meals, EVERYTHING! I was his caregiver as he battled cancer in 2015. We became even so much closer throughout that time. Although I never thought we could possibly be closer, but we were. I experienced every single thing with him throughout that ordeal. I kept him on track with staying positive even as I was struggling something terrible. I have so much empathy for people that I FELT every disappointment, pain and heartache he went through. His drs told him it was all gone after he did chemo & radiation. But they LIED! They KNEW it was in his lungs. Once we found out that it was in his lungs, he passed in 2 1/2 weeks later. But his drs knew 4 months earlier which I found out once I received the death certificate. . I feel robbed by them and my anger is almost unmanageable. I miss him so much. I have NO family that lives in this state & NO BODY that let's me talk to them. So I keep all my anger, sadness & pain closed up within myself & I really wanna just give up or burst! I get up every morning with the attitude that today WILL BE BETTER than the last but it never is. I stayed at the hospital with him 24/7 & I watched him take his last breath. And seeing that has affected me worse than anything I have experienced in my life. Because I am alone in this world without my BESTFRIEND, & MY ROCK.

Hi Caroline, I lost my wife in June, so it's been 4 months. For me, it's about routines. I get up everyday and still go to work. I see a therapist and have a widow support group every week. I go out to eat with my friend on Wednesdays after work. Friday nights I hide from the world because I know how I am. I get some of the crap out of my head by writing journals on here. Does it work? I don't know. I'm still here so I'm going to keep going. This is a sad, lonely time. I'm sorry you have to be here. Feel free to reach out if you need to.

Caroline, My thoughts are with you for strength and peace. Love and Hugs, Dolores

Hi Caroline. I am very sorry for your loss. Your story is very familiar to mine. It’s been 3.5 years for me. It does get more manageable. For now, just grieve. Get it out. I am glad you found this resource. I remember when I found it. It was a lifeline. I didn’t know how I would take my next breath. Hearing from others on this forum that understood my pain, and had managed to continue on and find peace, helped me tremendously. Praying helped as well as Grief Share. And as others have said, find something that gives you purpose and/or joy. I slept my husband’s favorite chair for weeks and then moved to the sofa. where I stayed for almost 3 years. The bed was just too lonely. I totally get it. Stay focused on the love he had for you but also on the love you have for yourself. I believe with all my heart that our loved ones want us happy. Take the time you need to heal. You’ll never not miss him but you will find joy again. It just takes time. Sending love your way.

My wife of 31 years passed 4+ years ago. I was teribblely lost. I kept the faith and relied on this forum for strength. Meet many friends and still stay in touch with a few
I'm the Dewman from Montana. On this board I met Dayna and we eventually becane friends and now live together. She is a beautiful spirit who I dearly and deeply love. You are on the roller coaster now and it is difficult.I didn't know I could cry so much. Sobbed for many months. And know what? That was ok and what I needed to do. You will heal in time as I. After meeting Dayna her and I connected on paper. A few months and I flew to SC to meet her. Meeting went well and we became fast friends. My point is that it will not be easy but you will overcome. Love to you dear! Dewman

Caroline,
I understand somewhat of how you feel. Just over 3 weeks ago I told the litve of my life goodnight and woke up for some reason less than an hour later and he was gone. Clay was fit and we were very active. We had no idea he had an enlarged heart that would lead to the massive heart attack that took him from us. The pain is immeasurable. The waves of grief, for that is truly what they feel like, are capable of drowning me at times. Add to this I just had to evacuate or home in the face of an immense hurricane. People say God won't give you more than you can handle. It sure doesn't seem that way. Hour by hour we will all get through this journey if we keep reaching out to one another. Prayers are headed your way!

Today is particularly difficult. I took my dogs to the last appointment at the groomer that my husband made back in July just yesterday.
I checked them over like he would and thought oh they look great and couldn't wait to take them home so he could see.......brick wall......he won't see them.
So I sat on my couch when I got home ( my sleeping area since he passed ) and realized that he really really really wasn't coming back.

So, I started to cry BIG HAMBURGER TEARS. ( I call them that because my husband used to call the rain "big fat rain" when it rained very hard and I explained that they looked like little hamburgers falling from the sky ( very sciencey)

I have my counselling today , thankfully. I need her.

I guess I am not the only one that sleeps on the couch. A lot of my friends and family do not understand why I don't sleep in our bed. My husband of almost 48 years passed on June 27 after 4 weeks in the hospital with complications of Alzheimers. It was a horrendous ordeal, he went from taking me to work (with some confusion) to be taken to the hospital never to come home again. I like the others here am lost. I go to work, church, family functions, etc. but it feels like I am sleep walking. It has been Dave and Sandy since I was 16 years old, now at 69 I'm alone. Like all of you I'm sure, what I would give to see and hear him once again. Thanks for letting me tell my story.

Hugga- my heart goes out to you. I know its very difficult isn't it :( - My thoughts and prayers are with you. Stay strong - btw the couch - Im getting used to it now.

Thanks, Caroline, Yes, it is far harder than I could ever have imagined. I have always thought of myself as a strong person, but this has taken me to my knees. Yesterday I was helping with a funeral dinner at my church and some of the women standing around the kitchen were talking about how people react differently to losing someone. One of the women said, "look at Sandy", she is going on with her life. I felt like such a fraud, I told them, that some of the littlest things make me cry and, of course, they said that is OK, you are allowed to cry. I look back now of how I used to say the same things to a friend that had lost someone. Now I know, that there really isn't thing one can say, just hold them.

Yes, I am getting used to the couch. I put my back up against the back of the couch and pretend that it is Dave. I hope that all of us on this journey hold on to the good memories and keep on going. So sorry for your loss.

I know the feeling. My husband passed the end of August and I don't know what to do. I sit and try to figure out what I can do to occupy my time but don't know how and then I feel guilty for breathing. No one around me understand the emptiness even when in a crowd. I just don't feel like I belong without my husband. Everyone says it will get better but how when I don't even know how to breathe. I am here for you

Caroline100, I had a similar experience. On day 9 after my husband died in a hospital after a massive stroke, I took his dog to a groomer (the appointment had been made in advance by my husband and the groomer gave me a reminder call). So, when I brought the dog there, the groomer said cheerfully to the dog, "Oh Daksy how come you are not with your daddy? It was always your daddy to bring you here".
I could not tell the groomer the awful truth that Daddy was no more.
I left the dog with the groomer, got in my car, and cried and cried and cried there till the acute pain passed and I could drive myself home.
There would be "triggers" now and then, yes - always unexpected, always sudden ones - but as time goes by, there would be fewer and fewer of them.