Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
Just over four months ago, I lost my husband in an accident. We had been together since we were barely 16, and after nearly 23 years together we were still madly in love.
I was there, when the accident occurred, and there was nothing I could do. He was just gone. I feel like I am never going to get through this. I barely sleep. I function at a minimal level. I have nobody in my life who understands this loss, and people do not know how to "handle" my grief so they basically avoid me.
He was my soulmate... and I cannot stand the thought of being here without him. We did everything together. Even after all of the years we had been together, we didn't have the separate lives that seem so common today. Even most of our friends and family all seem to have separate lives from their mates. That was not us. I guess I am just looking for a place where people might have some grasp of what I am dealing with.
I was there, when the accident occurred, and there was nothing I could do. He was just gone. I feel like I am never going to get through this. I barely sleep. I function at a minimal level. I have nobody in my life who understands this loss, and people do not know how to "handle" my grief so they basically avoid me.
He was my soulmate... and I cannot stand the thought of being here without him. We did everything together. Even after all of the years we had been together, we didn't have the separate lives that seem so common today. Even most of our friends and family all seem to have separate lives from their mates. That was not us. I guess I am just looking for a place where people might have some grasp of what I am dealing with.
I have found that it is difficult to do any of the things that we used to enjoy doing together. We loved to go fishing, riding ATV's, planting and tending a garden, and so many other things. I avoid all of them. Our anniversary is quickly approaching, and I am dreading it. I just cannot understand how the world still keeps going on when someone like Shane was ripped away.
A few weeks after losing him, I suffered a severely broken leg that required surgical repair... Insult to injury I suppose. People keep talking to me about God, and I was raised Catholic, but I have to say, right now, I am so angry with him that I hate hearing his name. My family is upset with me for that... but they could not possibly understand what I have lost. They have no grasp of what took place that day... I, on the other hand, relive the entire thing several times a day. I am an intelligent person, but I feel like I am still looking for a way to undo this, even though I know that I can't.
I will keep all of you in my thoughts. Thanks again.
I am so so sorry for your loss. Know that you can and will survive this. Just take it 1 day at a time, sometimes just 5 minutes at a time, do what you can each day and what absolutely has to be done, let the rest go. People will say the silliest and most inane and insensitive things, not to be unkind but because they don't know what to say and they have absolutely no understanding of what it is to be you at this time and what you are going through. Let yourself feel the pain, the anger, the sadness, this is the grief work we all must do, and even though it seems the intense pain will destroy you, and just yet, you don't know how, you will get through it and survive. DS is a wonderful community of caring folk sharing this hard, lonely journey with you, you will find kindness, strength and support here, visit often. Love and hugs to you today.