I'm on here, and it says zero online. I wondered the same thing. Where are all the others? I guess I get to answer your questions - or try. They probably have not resolved their grief, but perhaps with the passage of time, it doesn't hurt quite so deeply. Depends on what you mean by "move on" or "move forward." I imagine some find "themselves," while others find other mates. This is a VERY controversial subject on here, as well as in the outside world. So each individual will do one of two things- stay single forever or remarry. Individual circumstances will most likely determine our choices. No right or wrong answer, but something one should weigh out and definitely not rush into. Someone tried to shame me a few months back for saying the "m" word (and I'm not cursing). In other words I wasn't supposed to talk to or about another man, even jokingly. Really...??? The point is, it's not unBiblical, and I seriously doubt it is going to hurt the departed. You have to use a little wisdom of course, and many will wait out that year or two, as I have. To keep living does not mean you didn't love your mate or don't respect his or her memory. Of course, your grief is still very fresh, and your mind can't wrap around this right now, but yes, anything's possible. Another possibility is that they got burnt out hearing us talk about feelings and issues, or that they got busy. I feel like I am walking around in quicksand, so I better sign off, take a melatonin, and go to bed. I'll be interested to hear how others comment.

I have been on here for a short period of time and I have noticed the same thing. I often wonder if I am "normal" as far as my feelings etc after losing my husband to cancer this past August. I always think or worry about what other people are saying or thinking of my actions even over the littlest things in life. Then I have people that are always telling me they admire me for being so brave and strong thru all of this. I am no way brave or strong. I am just living one day at a time. What else is a person suppose to do? Sometimes I have trouble even getting myself moving each morning. When or will it ever get easier? I can't even begin to think about the holidays coming.

I think cancer is probably about the hardest way out, but it's all difficult whenever you lose someone. I have been up an hour - just now making coffee. I would like to just go back to bed and not think about what needs to be done today. I think I have stopped worrying so much about what people think, but it would be nice if they halfway understood. I feel sometimes that I am under a microscope. I told my pastor upfront that I wasn't the "typical poor little widow," but I believe I have been relegated to that place or position. I haven't bounced back this time as I maybe did before, and I think it's partly because I don't feel I have anything to offer anyone. I'm depleted. Someone asked me the other day what my interests are. Interests?? Let's see. I guess what I am most interested in is being cared about, if that makes sense. Maybe we should get t-shirts with "W" on the front in big, bold letters - but I guess people know who we are without us telling them. It most likely shows in our facial expressions and behavior patterns. Do they have black poinsettias? Sorry, but I'm venting a little. No one to talk to this morning. I thought this site was going to be down today???

CANCER SUCKS!!!! Please don't say sorry that you are venting a little!!!! That is what I do on here also. Just can't seem to bring myself to talk to anyone face to face personally on my feelings. I have to be "strong and brave"! Oh how those words make me cringe these days.

I think people come on this site when they are lost and wounded. It has been 8 months since my husband passed. In the beginning I came on several times a day to post or just to read other people’s post. It made me feel better to see I was no alone in my feelings and it gave me hope when people posted updates about being able to move on. These days I don’t cry as much and I am busy with my kids and settling down in a new home. I don’t need to vent as much but when I do I come back. I think most people are in the same situation. I hate being a widow but it is my new title and I am learning to live with it.

The Daily Strength page was totally revamped some time last year (spring I think). People where having problems with the new site with trying to sign in and finding everything. A lot of people just disappeared in frustration. I think only 1/3 of the members are still here. I miss a lot of the people that where here but it is still a good place to come to for support. (((Hugs)))

Rick - Most of the members that actively replies to postings are still here and often. I never posted anything, but do chime in with a reply when I can relate. For the most part, just reading and comparing how others are coping. Now, let me tell you that it is highly unlikely that the one's you don't see have moved on. It would be years before any of us here can even claim a bonafide level of improvement. Sorry, that's just being realistic! They are most likely in the same state of despair or worse! But maybe, their just busy fighting valiantly to make the best out of this widow/widower persona that we all have become. Let's hope that some of us do not fall too far back ever! Anybody that's making progress will let the rest of us know, if only for kicks! So the only reason I can think of for this small showing online, is that it could be a site issue....I do pray that's all it is.
This site confirms that we are all the same in birth, in grief, tragedy and in death. These are the only times we are one and the same,depending on each other as human beings. When race and background suddenly is irrelevant.
Here we get to vent about our lowest and darkest point in our lives, tell our story openly to anyone online that would read it and relate with a reply. All while staying anonymous at the same time....How great is that!!
Anyway, I hope you remain and partake actively in this forum like you do. So much to learn from each others plight. Good luck, God Bless and keep on...

It IS a site issue! That stupid "counter" has never worked since they revamped the website! How do I know? Because I can be online having a back-and-forth with a half dozen people and the silly thing still shows only 1 online. Like I would be wandering around here all by myself.... we've asked for that to be addressed by the tech folks, but it never has.

You should also know that we have a ton of members who read but don't post. Sometimes called "lurkers" because they never say anything. Many will lurk until they understand how the site works a little and then something will strike a chord and they come out of the shadows.

We also have a large group that have healed significantly and only come through sporadically now. The holidays will be upon us soon, and we always get a lot of activity here during those times because they are hard to face alone, and here you don't have to face them alone.

I joined here late November 2007, a couple of weeks after losing my husband of 30 years on Veterans Day 2007. I have just passed the 10-year milestone. It is surreal to be able to even write that. I fall into the camp of those that found love again: I married a widower I met in this group, we have been together for 7 years. It's surreal to write that, too. Most of my friends from the early days have moved on. I miss them, but if they are happy then I'm glad. I am still here to try and help those who are new to this. That's why I have the "CL" badge on my picture, I am an old-timer and Community Leader who stuck around to help out if I can. Nobody should have to go it alone.

How you handle your grief and the loss changes over time. Some of it is always at the back of your mind, that's because people die but love doesn't. But life becomes livable again, even hopeful and worth living again. It's not an overnight process. But you CAN get through this. Don't give up.

And don't worry about that stupid counter - there is usually somebody around!

Love and Hugs,
Martha

Thanks Martha. Nice to hear some hopeful thoughts. I certainly have none of my own.

I am here too. I don't think that number on Lin is working right. And it doesn't mean we have recovered from grief. We don't recover, we just Lear to live without their physical presence.

I was married to my high school sweetheart who died 10 years ago. I built a life and it didn't replace my Don, but I Learned to smile again. They want our happiness. They always have. I am here for sac of you as others have been here for me. Hugs Sharon

I'm an "oldtimer". My husband died on Valentine's Day 2012 and emotionally, I was near death myself until I found this site (about 3 months later). The people here - originally all strangers - understood me and my feelings like neither my family nor friends did. "Lifesaver" doesn't even come close to how important the discussions here came. I remember some of the "older" members would say that, with time, we would all learn to live again. That word "time" became a 4-letter word to me. BUT, they were absolutely, without hesitation, correct. I remember wanting to do the Rip van Winkle thing (go to sleep for 20 years) and hope that I'd wake up all better. And, that's another word: "better." I've never gotten (nor do I believe will I ever get) "better." I've lived with this grief for nearly 6 years and find that it has now become an acceptable part of me. I am at peace because I know my husband is at peace, as well. I also know that he has never left me, as I originally believed. Of course, his body is gone, and I miss his touch. But, if I close my eyes and take a deep breath to relax, I can feel him as clearly as if he were right there beside me. So, to all of you who are beginning this wretched, wrenching journey, know that the pain you're now feeling will not last forever. At some point (and everyone's timeline is different), you will emerge from the abyss. That's a promise from me to you.
Terry
P.S. I agree with Martha. When DS changed the format of this site, they lost many posters. This new layout is really the pits.

Resolved grief? Don't think so. It is a life long process, we just enter different stages. Why people aren't here has more to do with the revamp of DS last year. Its colder, less friendly, old members got locked out. It says 2,563 members well I'll bet 2,500 were members before the revamp & can't get back in, became frustrated, and found other sites. Face Book groups have replaced DS.
Don't worry about that, it only takes 2 or 3 caring ears. Look at all the responses you've received.
Wishing you well, wishing you peace of heart

the new site is not easy for people who were used to the old site to adjust to. heck, I still can't figure out how to do things the new way: have not been able to make changes in my profile (at least not make them "stick", they disappear when I log out), can't post pictures, don't see how to "like" a discussion. we lost many members who posted a lot before.