Victims of Psychopaths Community Group
Is he or she a sociopath or psychopath? Think we're only talking about serial killers here? Psychopaths, sociopaths and even narcissists come in every walk of life, every career level, and every socio-economic category.
Hello everyone, I am new to this site and it's refreshing to learn that what I am going through is not my imagination and there is support for us out there.
My story is...i have been in a relationship with my guy for just over 7yrs now. The beginning was amazing as something new always is. He is the most caring, generous, loving person I have ever met. He has done some incredible things for me over the years....but.....then I got to see his true side.
He didn't like the fact that I was single when I met him and was always going on about having others in my life. He use to say that I should have waited for him, as in from when I was a kid. He ransacked my home when I wasn't around to find anything he could to hold against me to say there were other guys in my life. He got all my phone bills and rang every number to see if a guy would answer. And that is when he first slapped me, in his car, arguing over this. I was stunned to say the least, I have never been hit before or treated like this and i regret not walking away that day.
Since then it has been a never ending cycle of abuse then I'm sorry I love you. The physical abuse went from slapping to roughing me up to the point of being covered in bruises from head to toe. He has this thinking that women should be hit if they deserve it. That was quite a few years ago now and the last time he ever hit me.
The verbal abuse though is never ending. And what i'm finding is that everything he says is really reflecting on him and his behaviour. He never stops with the accusations that I am seeing someone else, he is threatened by the fact that he is older than me so always thinks I am with someone younger, but he cannot comprehend that if i wanted to be with someone younger I wouldn't have got with him in the first place. His lying is exceptional, and the story telling, what can I say. I have never met anyone who knows everything, knows everyone, has been everywhere, can do everything. No matter what the topic of conversation with anyone we are talking with, he always has to add that he knows all about it. He needs constant attention, needs to be noticed, if he doesn't get what he wants when he wants it he sulks like a child, gets moody and the the anger starts. There is so much more I could say but I think you all know where I'm coming from.
I never knew what the term 'Psychopath' meant until only last month when I read an article, and that left me in total shock. I have since done some research, which is when I also stumbled upon this site, and Psychopath is all him. What I was reading made me feel sick.
Well now I am trying to break free from him yet again, this time though I am holding in there as i know the cycle will just continue. I am becoming a nervous wreck though,. He is threatening me with..if I don't go see him he will go to my mothers house, says he is going to tell my kids all these things about me, if i'll just have sex with him he'll leave me alone, demanding money I owe him by the afternoon or else, the worse part though is the phone calls, they abusive degrading furious phone calls. My phone message bank is full so he started calling my mothers house where I live, so i took that off the hook. Then he just keeps calling my mobile. if I answer he can talk for like an hour without a breath, with non stop abuse.
Last night I couldn't take it anymore, I went to the police station and as soon as i walked in i broke down in tears. Even while I was talking to the police, they saw him call me at least 30 times, they said don't answer, just turn the ph off. I went to get advice on an AVO, but haven't applied for one as yet.
As much as there is so much more to say, I think I have said enough. It's nice to feel I can get things off my chest as I can't really discuss this with the people around me. I'm sure you understand.
Thank you for reading this.
My story is...i have been in a relationship with my guy for just over 7yrs now. The beginning was amazing as something new always is. He is the most caring, generous, loving person I have ever met. He has done some incredible things for me over the years....but.....then I got to see his true side.
He didn't like the fact that I was single when I met him and was always going on about having others in my life. He use to say that I should have waited for him, as in from when I was a kid. He ransacked my home when I wasn't around to find anything he could to hold against me to say there were other guys in my life. He got all my phone bills and rang every number to see if a guy would answer. And that is when he first slapped me, in his car, arguing over this. I was stunned to say the least, I have never been hit before or treated like this and i regret not walking away that day.
Since then it has been a never ending cycle of abuse then I'm sorry I love you. The physical abuse went from slapping to roughing me up to the point of being covered in bruises from head to toe. He has this thinking that women should be hit if they deserve it. That was quite a few years ago now and the last time he ever hit me.
The verbal abuse though is never ending. And what i'm finding is that everything he says is really reflecting on him and his behaviour. He never stops with the accusations that I am seeing someone else, he is threatened by the fact that he is older than me so always thinks I am with someone younger, but he cannot comprehend that if i wanted to be with someone younger I wouldn't have got with him in the first place. His lying is exceptional, and the story telling, what can I say. I have never met anyone who knows everything, knows everyone, has been everywhere, can do everything. No matter what the topic of conversation with anyone we are talking with, he always has to add that he knows all about it. He needs constant attention, needs to be noticed, if he doesn't get what he wants when he wants it he sulks like a child, gets moody and the the anger starts. There is so much more I could say but I think you all know where I'm coming from.
I never knew what the term 'Psychopath' meant until only last month when I read an article, and that left me in total shock. I have since done some research, which is when I also stumbled upon this site, and Psychopath is all him. What I was reading made me feel sick.
Well now I am trying to break free from him yet again, this time though I am holding in there as i know the cycle will just continue. I am becoming a nervous wreck though,. He is threatening me with..if I don't go see him he will go to my mothers house, says he is going to tell my kids all these things about me, if i'll just have sex with him he'll leave me alone, demanding money I owe him by the afternoon or else, the worse part though is the phone calls, they abusive degrading furious phone calls. My phone message bank is full so he started calling my mothers house where I live, so i took that off the hook. Then he just keeps calling my mobile. if I answer he can talk for like an hour without a breath, with non stop abuse.
Last night I couldn't take it anymore, I went to the police station and as soon as i walked in i broke down in tears. Even while I was talking to the police, they saw him call me at least 30 times, they said don't answer, just turn the ph off. I went to get advice on an AVO, but haven't applied for one as yet.
As much as there is so much more to say, I think I have said enough. It's nice to feel I can get things off my chest as I can't really discuss this with the people around me. I'm sure you understand.
Thank you for reading this.
He said he realises he called my kids but that was because i didnt tell him i was going away and he was worried about me. (i didn't know I had to report to him)
It is these types of msgs that are the hardest to get through. This is why I am needing to log in here and write these msgs because the replies I get from all of you helps me to stay strong and focus on what will happen if i do reply or start to feel bad for him. Of course they make you feel terrible that this person is hurting so much. Breaking up is never easy but for someone like him, breaking up on someone else terms is a no no.
I'm sorry if i am making too many posts. :-(
I'm betting on the fact that he has had more chances than he deserves to redeem himself and nothing you say or do seems to help him acknowledge the harm he has caused you. His happiness is not your responsibility ...
I just caught up with this thread.... You didn't respond, did you?
Please know that you will NEVER post "too many" posts... this is a forum and a support group. We are all here to support each other. We are here to help keep you strong.
He is just ramping up the pity play game... do not fall for it. He is not your responsibility. Stay strong and like Dee said, remember the nasty texts and abusive behavior... This is him trying to get his way and "win" this... you... his source of supply..... you have cut off the supply and he is dying. He is a vampire, remember? He needs to dry up and die (emotionally speaking, of course)... Please stay strong!
How are you holding up today?
Well he is still on and off with the nice msgs then the not so nice msgs. I still haven't made contact. Apparently he is seeing a psychologist (think he needs a psychiatrist). He saw the psychologist two days ago but that didn't stop him from leaving over 20 voice messages on that day and yesterday and todays have already started.
I am still away from home at the moment but planning to go back on sunday, then first thing monday will be going to see a solicitor.
My son told me yesterday, that he just found out that one day last week, someone was looking for him at his work. The description his work colleague gave him sounds like my ex. And he was there from 5am-9am waiting for him. Lucky my son wasn't at work on that day.
Hope everyone else on here is coping ok. :-)
He just left a msg saying he is staying in a hotel which is not far from where i am and that he has been walking around the streets looking for me.
I'm so nervous. He shouldn't be able to find me as i am indoors and my car is hidden but i am a little scared. I'm not sure what to do. Maybe i should pack my stuff and leave, go back home.
And do not panic... the worst thing that could happen is he finds you, you call the police and he is arrested for stalking.
He was probably bluffing to get you to panic..... are you okay?
You definitely need to get the authorities involved....
That was the only place he could think of to look for me and that is because I had discussed with him many years ago about someone i knew there and that i had stayed there once. So he took the chance that that is where i was. And why is that....because the person i know there is a male....someone i have known for over 30yrs and who was happy to provide me with a safe haven to hide in for as long as i needed. I wasn't exactly in the place he went to but in a surrounding suburb which he doesn't know of. So he still doesn't really know if i was there or not.
That is the price we pay with these people. it is a normal thing to discuss our lives with new partners but he has just used everything i've ever told him as ammunition against me now. Obviously twisting the details to suit him though. This makes me furious.
He left this morning on a plane and i have also gone back home making sure it was late at night so i knew he wouldnt be hanging around. And i plan to go to the solicitor first thing in the morning, hopefully before he catches on that i am home.
Please go and keep yourself safe... he seems to have gone off the deep end....
In the UK, a restraining order is considered a waste of time in most cases because you can only call the police once he's actually standing at your front door, which isn't a fat lot of good if you wake up and the fruit loop is standing in your bedroom.
Scorpio's S seems to have "lost it".... I agree, she needs to figure out a way to be safe.... whatever that is.