Veterans Support Group
This community is dedicated to all veterans of armed forces, and the health and life challenges they face. A veteran often refers to retired armed services personnel, one one who has served in the armed forces and has an honorable discharge. Join many others in sharing your experiences to find support.
my husband is a veteran who was stationed in the middle east and is also now a chronic pain patient. he is in bed most of the time and wheel chair bound. he is on a lot of drugs for pain from the v.a. I quit work to stay at home with him full time.
i have already went to the PTSD group here on this site but from what i have read the stuff he suffers doesn't fit what i read. a few talks about rage and that fits some.
he doesn't talk about what he went through. first the war, then his back going out and surgery failing and going from a fully functional man to being like he is has been terrible.
my problem is i wake up hearing him scream out at night or sometimes shouting. i run to see if he's rolled off the bed or twisted wrong but he's dreaming. sometimes he will be pouring sweat and his face bright red.
when i wake him i do it as gently as possible and from a distance. sometimes he wakes enough to stop the dream and go back to sleep, but sometimes he wakes up and wow he is mess. if he stays awake he is angry, snappy and sometimes he just shouts for me to leave him alone. and boy do i.
he has been a good husband for 16 years. most of the time he copes not well but okay with his pain sometimes he doesn't. he doesn't like company, that sort of thing stopped a long time ago because with his pain level so high people most people flat make him climb the walls.
i am not a shut in with him, he doesn't expect that. i go for short periods to see friends or family.
is there anything i can do for him on the PTSD part? scares the crap out of me when the nightmares hits, but i can not imagine what he is going through. he has been in PTSD group but it doesn't seem to help. plus the getting him ready and the riding in the car hurts him more and more as time passes. i have asked if he wanted to talk about what he's been through and he simply says no. i can accept this because my dad is a WWII veteran and at 92 he still doesn't talk about the war much.
thanks.
i have already went to the PTSD group here on this site but from what i have read the stuff he suffers doesn't fit what i read. a few talks about rage and that fits some.
he doesn't talk about what he went through. first the war, then his back going out and surgery failing and going from a fully functional man to being like he is has been terrible.
my problem is i wake up hearing him scream out at night or sometimes shouting. i run to see if he's rolled off the bed or twisted wrong but he's dreaming. sometimes he will be pouring sweat and his face bright red.
when i wake him i do it as gently as possible and from a distance. sometimes he wakes enough to stop the dream and go back to sleep, but sometimes he wakes up and wow he is mess. if he stays awake he is angry, snappy and sometimes he just shouts for me to leave him alone. and boy do i.
he has been a good husband for 16 years. most of the time he copes not well but okay with his pain sometimes he doesn't. he doesn't like company, that sort of thing stopped a long time ago because with his pain level so high people most people flat make him climb the walls.
i am not a shut in with him, he doesn't expect that. i go for short periods to see friends or family.
is there anything i can do for him on the PTSD part? scares the crap out of me when the nightmares hits, but i can not imagine what he is going through. he has been in PTSD group but it doesn't seem to help. plus the getting him ready and the riding in the car hurts him more and more as time passes. i have asked if he wanted to talk about what he's been through and he simply says no. i can accept this because my dad is a WWII veteran and at 92 he still doesn't talk about the war much.
thanks.
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I don't really know how to label this but I having a rough week and I can't say it's one thing.... I have a lot on my plate which is nothing new and I try to cope in many positive ways and do but I still have my moments.My kids more so my daughters talk to me about everything which I know it's cause of comfort and we are close.... however I really struggle with the venting about their dad which...
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I did the dumbest thing today. I charged my earbuds, unplugged the block and put the block in my little bag instead of the earbuds. I wasn't happy about that when I got to the gym. What a dummy!
I WILL KEEP YOU POSTED.
AS FAR AS THE PTSD GOES EVERYONE REACTS DIFFERENTLY. IT'S HARD TO SAY WHAT'S GOING THROUGH YOUR HUSBAND'S MIND. THERE'S A LOT OF VETERANS WHO DON'T EVEN WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT. ALL WE CAN DO IS TRY AND UNDERSTAND THAT WHAT THEY WENT TROUGH WAS SOMETHING WE'D NEVER WANT OUR WORST ENEMY TO GO THROUGH. WE GO THROUGH OUR OWN THING WHILE THEY GO THROUGH SOMETHING ELSE. IF THERE IS A SPOUSE GROUP IN YOUR AREA IT MIGHT HELP YOU IF YOU COULD TALK TO SOMEONE ELSE WHO IS GOING THROUGH WHAT YOU ARE. I WILL KEEP YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND IN MY PRAYERS. I KNOW IT'S NOT EASY FOR EITHER OF YOU. IT'S HARD FOR US TO SEE OUR HUSBAND'S GOING THROUGH THESE THINGS-WEATHER IT'S GOT TO DO WITH PTSD OR HIS PAIN OR WHATEVER ELSE HE MIGHT GO THROUGH. ALL WE CAN DO IS KEEP THEM IN OUR PRAYERS AND BE STRONG FOR THEM AND BE THERE FOR THEM.
I HOPE YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND CAN HAVE A BLESSED AND HAPPY NEW YEAR. HOPE YOU HAVE A BLESSED NIGHT. HUGS, CHRIS
Then in 1982 I got sober. Not much was being done about PTSD but the VA did treat some. I met a man at an AA meeting who became my AA sponsor. He helped me understand the 12 Steps of Recovery. But more importantly, he was also a Vietnam Vet and even more importantly, he worked for the County of St. Mary's in Maryland as a counselor. He and I met three times weekly for almost a year. While working on a certain Step and having trouble with it, we started talking about Nam. He helped me understand more about me and the war than anyone person. I had not realized that I was blaming me for the deaths of my friends, wondering why I lived and they did not. Anytime I start to sponsor anyone in AA, I find out if they got military experience and if they served during Nam or the Gulf. I try to help them as much as I can but usually send them to the VA in CT for help. They do help vets in this state.
Loveblue, I am hoping you will get in touch with the nearest VA hospital and ask questions about PTSD and any programs your husband may be able to participate in. Best wishes to you and him.
~Happy2
Alas, this board is so slow that I keep forgetting to check in.
For sure, don't compare his plight to your Dad or anyone else. PTSD is highly customized. Each of us respond differently and the differences are important.
Have you checked with your local VA? Ours offers family counseling as well as vet counseling.
Overview http://www.ptsd.va.gov/PTSD/public/pages/prolonged-exposure-therapy.asp
Prolonged Exposure http://www.ptsd.va.gov/PTSD/public/pages/prolonged-exposure-therapy.asp
CPT http://www.ptsd.va.gov/PTSD/public/pages/cognitive_processing_therapy.asp
Clinical Links http://www.ptsd.va.gov/professional/newsletters/ctu-online.asp
Literature http://www.ptsd.va.gov/PTSD/professional/pilots-database/pilots-db.asp
Neurobiology http://www.ptsd.va.gov/PTSD/professional/pages/pharmacological-treatment-acute-stress.asp
The VA just put this site up. It's feedback from vets who have PTSD. Check it out. http://www.ptsd.va.gov/apps/aboutface/.