Urinary Incontinence Support Group

Urinary incontinence is the involuntary excretion of urine from one's body. It is often temporary, and it almost always results from an underlying medical condition. Stress, functional, and urge incontinence are the most common forms. Share with other support group members and learn from their stories and experiences.

691 Members
733 Posts
0 Online
Kidneys & Bladder
/ Urinary Incontinence Support Group

Not feeling very manly...

Wolfways
Wolfways

Hi All,


To start off, I'm 51 years old and I was diagnosed in 2015 with having MS. I have been in a relationship with a woman since 2012 and we love eachother very much. I refer to her as my wife even though we are not officially married.  In 2017 I started having issues with urinary incontinence and my wife was very supportive. She bought a few incontinence products for me from the drug store but they did not hold up very well. I started to order plastic backed briefs because they would hold up and I wouldn't have any leaks.


Wolfways
Wolfways
Ooops! I hit the wrong key and wasn't finished posting my dilemma and questions.
Wolfways
Wolfways
So............

I do not wear diapers full time because I don't always have a full blown urinary incontinence issue. But when I start to have a lot of urinary issues I will always start wearing the plastic backed diapers from Northshore.

Here lies the issue I have with myself......
Because I use diapers for my incontinence issues, it affects how I feel about myself as a man and as a partner (or husband) to my wife. I feel like it makes me look like a weak man.

Can anyone shed some light on this issue?

Thank you
SpongeBob
SpongeBob
Incontinence issues are fairly common among people suffering from MS. So you’re not a weak man. The challenge is the transition from shame to acceptance. It takes time. Your wife is very supportive so she can help you in that direction. Hang in there!
OnlyGod1st
OnlyGod1st
Wearing a diaper to protect your clothes, furniture and dignity doesn't make you a weak man. If you broke a leg and had to wear a cast does that make you any less of a man than what you are? As SpongeBob noted, the challenge is transition from shame to acceptance. I had to start wearing full time when I was 42. Once I saw how my quality of life was much better wearing and not having to worry about find a bathroom, or getting my clothes wet, bed wet and such, allowed me to accept the fact that I have to wear a different type of underwear than what most people do. So what my underwear isn't "normal". There is all kinds of underwear out there and guys wear them for all kinds of different reasons. You have a great start that your partner is very supportive. In all these years, no one has noticed I am wearing diapers and when it comes to medical, it's accepted. Both of my urologist were very pleased that my quality of life was as good if not better now that I am wearing diapers all the time. The biggest thing is not what others think but what helps you to live the quality of life you want to live. To me being a weak man means you give up on everything, you quit enjoying life, you don't care about anything any more and I don't see you as that type of man. You care enough to do what is needed in order to allow you to keep living and keep being an active person.
Barry
Barry
It looks like your wife your wife does not think you are weak man. I don't think any other sensible person would either.
Posts You May Be Interested In
  • MaryContrary

    Horny

    Posted by: MaryContrary
    Last Reply: Barry
    1
    I have toys.  So the ones I have not used or need any more, are gone in the trash.  One of my toys is just a regular hand held massager with an attachment.  The other is a real insertable toy.  This morning I ordered a new toy with attachments.  It is small and has a brush like attachment and the other looks like a rose with a tiny tongue.  I'll get it in about 2 weeks.  Rechargable and...
  • Mars1212

    didn't get yet another job

    Posted by: Mars1212
    Last Reply: hasty_05
    6
    I can't believe this has gone on this long.  So I don't have much hope of getting a tech job, but I saw an educational job that I thought might be really good. It would have been working at a university supporting high school students who are taking college classes.  I did a mock interview with a friend and prepared extensively. It was at the university that I graduated from. I was very excited...