Transgender Support Group
This community is here to support and help the large population of transgender people. If you or anyone you know identify as transgender, this is the place to share your feelings and experiences and speak with others who are going through similar things in their lives.
My daughter and I have always had a very open relationship and I have told her she could come to me about absolutely anything. She is currently 13 years old, but when she was about 7, she used to say she wished she was a boy and everything she did (clothes she wore, stuff she was interested in) were for boys. She did grow out of this for a while though she always remained very much a tomboy. She never has been into girl things (dolls, makeup, dressing up, etc), but she had crushes on boys and has even had a couple boyfriends.
Here lately she has told me that those feelings of wishing she was a boy has come back (never really went away), so we had a conversation about it. I asked her if she thought she was going to try to become a guy when she was older. She said maybe, but she wasnt sure. She is already asking about binding and is wanting to start wearing sports bras instead of regular bras. She has already decided on her name as a guy. She is not sure if she is into girls or guys but she said she has had a crush on a girl, and she has had a couple of boyfriends.
I know she is only 13 years old, and she may change her mind, but part of me thinks that since she has had these feelings since she was really young that this maybe who she is. I want to support her and told her I support her in whatever decision she makes and she can come to me and talk about anything, but does anyone have any advice and how to be supportive during this time? I dont really know what I am asking, I guess, I just want her to know that she can be who she is and that I will love her no matter what she decides. But I also want to make sure we can keep this open line of communication and that she knows she doesnt have to hide anything from me.
Here lately she has told me that those feelings of wishing she was a boy has come back (never really went away), so we had a conversation about it. I asked her if she thought she was going to try to become a guy when she was older. She said maybe, but she wasnt sure. She is already asking about binding and is wanting to start wearing sports bras instead of regular bras. She has already decided on her name as a guy. She is not sure if she is into girls or guys but she said she has had a crush on a girl, and she has had a couple of boyfriends.
I know she is only 13 years old, and she may change her mind, but part of me thinks that since she has had these feelings since she was really young that this maybe who she is. I want to support her and told her I support her in whatever decision she makes and she can come to me and talk about anything, but does anyone have any advice and how to be supportive during this time? I dont really know what I am asking, I guess, I just want her to know that she can be who she is and that I will love her no matter what she decides. But I also want to make sure we can keep this open line of communication and that she knows she doesnt have to hide anything from me.
I can tell you from personal experience, it feels great every time my own mother (she's 80 now) calls me by my chosen name. It will take a while to adjust to, but each time you use the correct pronouns and name, it will get easier.
The sooner hormone therapy begins, the easier the physical transformation will be - and the more complete and happy your son will feel. I know when I finally got on the correct hormones, I no longer needed anti-depressants, and was shortly thereafter no longer diagnosed as clinically depressed. I finally felt RIGHT in my own skin.
Remember, transitioning is a process, one with many steps and stages. The goal is to reach the point in it all when your child feels comfortable with who he is.
Thus far, I'd say you're doing a great job as mother to your son. It won't be easy, but it will be worth it.