Hello spirit, and welcome to the DS support group. Its great that your being supportive toward your child. Reviewing your post, there is a strong possibility that your child may be transgender, but there also might be the possibility, of other categories involved. To absolutely be sure wither your child is truly transgender, it is a good idea to take your child to be seen by a licensed gender therapist, who specialize in gender related issues, to make a diagnose. No ordinary therapist, would not no what to look for. You can go online to research for a gender therapist, in your hometown community.

Rhonda

I have to agree with Rhonda on this one, the only one who will be able to give an actual diagnosis would be a licensed therapist. Based on the statements your daughter has said though, there are indicators that would lean toward transgender issues. Here are a list of some therapists that deal with this specific thing in the area that is listed on your profile

http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/prof_results.php?state=NC&spec=187

I am sure there are others out there, but this at least gives you a starting off point.

Thank you for the advice. I will definitely check out therapists in the area and hopefully my daughter will agree to go to one.

You know Spirit, you mention that she has a name picked out. You should call her that name instead of her actual name if you're not already. See how she feels about and see if she's comfortable with it. Just my opinion though, but it's often upsetting when you get called names of one sex when you'd prefer to be the other.

The therapists can really help. And I even found my therapist using the link that Wynd has shared.

A gender therapist, can help you both when facing with family, friends, school, employment, and whatever else of questions that might be on your minds. Once the appointment is scheduled, and sessions start, the requirement of seeing a gender therapist, shouldn't take no longer than 6 months, this is plenty of time for a diagnose to be made. Once the diagnose has been confirmed, then its pretty much up to your "daughter" to transition in becoming your son.

Rhonda

I did talk to my daughter last night about therapy. I left it open and told her to think about it. She told me today she wanted to go. We are going to use the link above for therapists in our area and let her pick one out that she thinks she will feel comfortable with. Thanks for the help, therapy had never even crossed my mind until it was recommended.

Okay, that's great spirit. One step at a time.

Rhonda

I applaud your openness and willingness to accept your child for who she/he is, no matter what. I agree wholeheartedly with the advice given about seeing a therapist. As a FTM(Female to male) transgender myself, I can say that there is a good chance your child may well be transgender; but again, only a licensed gender therapist and your child will know for certain - given there are so many variations within human gender identity.

I wish I had been able to see a therapist when I was entering my teens - though of course, there weren't any gender therapists back then. I wish you both the best, and given the positive way you have entered into this, I know you will both do well, no matter the outcome of therapy. Keep the lines of communication open, and remember to face everything together with love. That, more than anything else, will be the most helpful - love and acceptance. I commend you both.

just be the supportive for her what ever the choice is

A therapist may know this, but in case they don't mention it, you should be aware that there's such a thing as "puberty-blockers," that is, prescription drugs that block the body's natural hormones to delay puberty. Some kids take these for a couple years to prevent unwanted changes to their bodies while they "figure themselves out". When the time is right, they can take the hormones of the "opposite sex" to have the puberty they want.

Well I'm envies of u and your daughter my parent don't what so ever support me(mtf) at all and my dad even threanted to beat my ass....so ya your daughters luck I wish I had a mom like u

I am happy to have had a mom like you. (mom died in 2008) but my dad can kiss my ass. He basically told me he didn't approve of me having SRS done, while I was worried about my heart during the first attempt this past November (finished in February). I wish my dad was more like you.

I just with my family was supportive the only o e who supports me is my gf...

Hello everyone! I wanted to update you on my journey since I messaged about a year ago. My daughter is currently in therapy for determining if she is transgender. She has been going since February, and in the process I have started to go to some sessions as well because it has been hard to know the right things to say and do.

I have been looking a while for a group now for parents of transgender teens to join. I found one on here that was close to what I was looking for but not active at all. It seems like this may be the best place to get advice, support, and some information.

My daugher still relates to the male gender. She is wanting to take hormone blockers as well. She has been discussing this with her therapist which has been a great help. They have been taking it nice and slow, which has been helpful for me because it feels like the transition is coming fast. Its hard to know what to do and what to hold off on and I worry about her safety mainly and bullying at school.

At this point, we are working on calling her by her male name and using male pronouns. It has been hard because I forget and slip back to calling her by her female name and female pronouns. I told her she may correct me when I forget. My biggest concern is we are still in the closet with my family because they are very fundamental christian and will not be supportive at all. Since I am a single mom, I rely on their help with getting my daughter to school while I am working. But she is coming of age where she will be driving in less than a couple of years, and when I no longer need their help that will be the point I think we will be ready to come out completely and then cut ties if the response is not one that is caring and full of unconditional love.

So at this point and going forward, I am going to start referring to my daughter as my son and using the proper pronouns for him. He has been very open with his friends about his decision and has received an incredible amount of support from them. He is dressing as a boy, cut all his hair off and is binding. He starts high school this year, so I am glad he has a solid group of supportive friends, but I still worry that he will come across bullying and teachers who do not understand because we live in the south and in the bible belt. I want to start working with the school to see if they have LGBTQ sensitivity training, but I am unsure of who to contact to find out. I think I am going to send an email to his guidance counselor to start. He wants to start going to school as a male using his chosen male name, but I am unsure of how to start that process too. Part of me thinks we should wait on this until we are out completely with our family.

When I started calling him by his male name and using the proper pronouns, he had the biggest smile on his face that melted my heart. I hadnt realized how much that really meant to him, but I plan to keep going.

Any advice or tips you have will be greatly appreciated. This has definitely been a take it just one day at a time process. I am currently reading Transgender Child: A Handbook for Families and Professionals. I am getting ready to start the information on school, I believe. I also have been trying to read whatever I can to be as educated on as possible on anything that may come my way.

Thanks for listening!

Hello again spirit, and thanks for the update on how things are progressing. The gender therapist should be able to help you and your child dealing with relatives, and school conflicts. Additionally, the gender therapist can provide you contact information of where you can take your child to out reach communities that are friendly within the lgbtq support groups, to socialize with others in person. Here is a link that may provide you information about out reach groups in your state area http://www.pridecenter.org/ although this link is a support group for New Jersey.