Time Management Support Group
This community is devoted to helping those looking to improve their time management skills. Time management is commonly defined as the various means by which people effectively use their time and other closely related resources in order to make the most out of it.
I'm so lost and confused and I really have to sit and examine WHY?????
I mean, I am so frustrated that I make lists of what needs to be done and I can't seem to get anything done at all. And all this leaves me wondering about my life......what I'm doing, am I supposed to really be doing? I believe it to be, yes. But I am so unhappy and irritated. I have things I want to do and NEED to do....I have household things, kid related duties, etc.
I WANT TO DO MY PLAQUES, MY WOOD CARVING AND WOOD BURNING, I WANT TO READ, RESEARCH & LEARN, I WANT TO DO MY COUNSELING COURSE! These all NEED to do this stuff and WANT TO!
I've tried list making and I've tried using the hour/appointment list making method which was worse because something always took more time than I thought or an interruption threw it off so it seemed I was even further behind with even less accomplished. I returned to traditional list making. HOWEVER, it gets thrown off CONSTANTLY.
I list my "to do's" in priority order (1) Daily Bible Study for 1 hr (2) Discipleship Course (3) Ministerial Counseling Course (4) any calls that require to be made (5) household things such as dusting, etc. (6) appointments I have to keep.......You get the picture, PRIORITIZE!
I'm just lost. I want to go back to bed, cover my head and scream, BUT I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THAT!
Today, I really thought today I would get caught up on my schooling (#1--#3) but babysitter backed out and I have grandson.
Now, I ADORE MY GRANDSON, but today was to be my day to actually get stuff done and a hair cut to boot! Instead, he's sick, runny nose, feels crappy, probably teething, so I sat rocking and conjoling till he finally crashed. Rushed to do my dishes and finish doing my book coverings (I use clear contact paper to protect my special books) and now I am playing phone tag with the pharmacy since this AM.
My family states "if you didn't do all that volunteer stuff" BUT HONESTLY, I ONLY DO APPX 3 DAYS PER MONTH!!!!!!! It's my family/household demands that keep my life so screwed up and the life sucked out of me. I crawl to bed at 10 PM and if lucky asleep by 11 PM and I get up about 4:30 AM or 5 AM. I get the boys up at 6 AM and out the door to school by 6:30 PM. Well, if you read my entry "Did I pass myself?" at DS journal you'll know what some of my to-do's are and that's just 2 hours. Then my family wonders if I am grumpy once in a blue moon!
I just want off this "merry go round" and have a life that matters instead of running this treadmill life I'm living. I find myself getting very down over it all. On top of this I REALLY NEED AND WANT TO REPAINT MY KITCHEN.
I'm also paying for driving all day yesterday and knew I'd be down for 2 days because of that. Now I am down due to the all day driving and will be down another 1-2 days because of watching grandson as Dr. said not to do it any longer my back can't handle it. And yes, I am in P-A-I-N!!!
OK, gotta run. Grandson is still sleeping so I might get the pharmacy by now. I can only pray he sleeps a little longer and I can at least have a quiet cup of coffee.
I mean, I am so frustrated that I make lists of what needs to be done and I can't seem to get anything done at all. And all this leaves me wondering about my life......what I'm doing, am I supposed to really be doing? I believe it to be, yes. But I am so unhappy and irritated. I have things I want to do and NEED to do....I have household things, kid related duties, etc.
I WANT TO DO MY PLAQUES, MY WOOD CARVING AND WOOD BURNING, I WANT TO READ, RESEARCH & LEARN, I WANT TO DO MY COUNSELING COURSE! These all NEED to do this stuff and WANT TO!
I've tried list making and I've tried using the hour/appointment list making method which was worse because something always took more time than I thought or an interruption threw it off so it seemed I was even further behind with even less accomplished. I returned to traditional list making. HOWEVER, it gets thrown off CONSTANTLY.
I list my "to do's" in priority order (1) Daily Bible Study for 1 hr (2) Discipleship Course (3) Ministerial Counseling Course (4) any calls that require to be made (5) household things such as dusting, etc. (6) appointments I have to keep.......You get the picture, PRIORITIZE!
I'm just lost. I want to go back to bed, cover my head and scream, BUT I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THAT!
Today, I really thought today I would get caught up on my schooling (#1--#3) but babysitter backed out and I have grandson.
Now, I ADORE MY GRANDSON, but today was to be my day to actually get stuff done and a hair cut to boot! Instead, he's sick, runny nose, feels crappy, probably teething, so I sat rocking and conjoling till he finally crashed. Rushed to do my dishes and finish doing my book coverings (I use clear contact paper to protect my special books) and now I am playing phone tag with the pharmacy since this AM.
My family states "if you didn't do all that volunteer stuff" BUT HONESTLY, I ONLY DO APPX 3 DAYS PER MONTH!!!!!!! It's my family/household demands that keep my life so screwed up and the life sucked out of me. I crawl to bed at 10 PM and if lucky asleep by 11 PM and I get up about 4:30 AM or 5 AM. I get the boys up at 6 AM and out the door to school by 6:30 PM. Well, if you read my entry "Did I pass myself?" at DS journal you'll know what some of my to-do's are and that's just 2 hours. Then my family wonders if I am grumpy once in a blue moon!
I just want off this "merry go round" and have a life that matters instead of running this treadmill life I'm living. I find myself getting very down over it all. On top of this I REALLY NEED AND WANT TO REPAINT MY KITCHEN.
I'm also paying for driving all day yesterday and knew I'd be down for 2 days because of that. Now I am down due to the all day driving and will be down another 1-2 days because of watching grandson as Dr. said not to do it any longer my back can't handle it. And yes, I am in P-A-I-N!!!
OK, gotta run. Grandson is still sleeping so I might get the pharmacy by now. I can only pray he sleeps a little longer and I can at least have a quiet cup of coffee.
I FOUND, TOO, THAT IF I SET MY TIMER FOR AN HOUR, I GET MORE THINGS DONE & FASTER!
Hang in there girl.....we have to stick together.
Like this morning. I was set to give a speech at 11 and anothe meeting at noon. So I dye my hair and while I am waiting for the dye timer I go ahead and scrub down tubs, toilets, sinks. Phone rings, speech is moved to tomorrow and TOMORROW I WAS TO PAINT! Now, it's to late to paint because I still have my meeting at NOON. And my mom says I need to be more organized! SHEEZ! How much more organized can you be when while your hair is dying you are scrubing tubs, toilets, sinks? SHEEZ. Further, the phone keeps ringing and I can't not answer it as it may be the school and something wrong with kids.
Well, dear, you are NOT ALONE. I'd like to see my hubby try to keep up with my schedule! ROFLOL Uh, yeah, I'd be forwarding his mail to "NUT HOUSE, USA!" ROFLOL
Do try the list by priority. At least the things that are lower on the list can always get moved to tomorrow's list. Further, I have found it a HUGE GIGANTIC HELP for me to have a "lazy day" which is usually after I've done the housework and 95% is done. I just read and drink my coffee knowing even GOD took a day of rest!
My ex was extremely old fashioned, still is. It didn't matter how much I had to do from morning to night, he always had plenty of free time because he was the man. And I just kept running like that hamster on a wheel.
How come, for example, are dad and boys not having a fun old 'painting party' and getting that kitchen done for mom? And can't he and the boys do at least one load of the boys' clothing, from start to finish? And so on.
Sometimes women find that a contributing factor to their being so busy, is that they are unintentionally being controlling. They do everything when it comes to household tasks, because they feel they do it BEST or THE WAY IT SHOULD BE DONE, and don't give anyone else a chance to learn the 'right' way. On the other hand, there are women (like me) who do it all because they don't really, deep down, believe they deserve help.
I'm not saying any of this is true of you, I'm just saying think about it. You deserve to be happier and less hurried, you are a good and giving person!
And one last suggestion. When I leave the house, I do as many tasks in one trip as possible, and I drive a loop from home, round town w/my stops, and back. No backtracking, no extra trips. Sometimes you can arrange your schedule to accommodate one trip. You'll save gas money, too.
Regarding my comment: "On the other hand, there are women (like me) who do it all because they don't really, deep down, believe they deserve help."
That was the old me!
You remind me of my beloved niece, who is overwhelmed and an over-thinker. But there is such a thing as quality time for your brain! Your doc asked whether you exercise. His point is that running errands and keeping physically busy is not the same as actual exercise, which needs to be aerobic . . . and which provides much more than physical movement. Girl, you have to grab an hour for yourself about 4 times a week and get outdoors and walk. If you aren't in a nice walking neighborhood, then drive a few blocks and find one. But a brisk walk in an autumn-ensconced neighborhood can give you clarity of thought.
No one is going to die if one of those loads of laundry isn't done. No one is going to die if you don't serve a perfect meal for dinner. No one is going to die if your boys do the dusting instead of you, and there are a few specks here and there.
And no one is going to die if you learn a brand new word. Ready? Here it is: "NO".
You can make lists and set priorities for eternity, but until you get your mind wrapped around the idea that you really don't have to do EVERYTHING and do it PERFECTLY, you are stuck on that hamster wheel, woman.
Think about it. Your Christian example to others right now is 'look at me i'm a hamster on a wheel and i'm too busy to enjoy God's creation and don't you want to be just like me?!'
I so hope you go take a walk alone this week and bask in the glory of that autumn sunshine that was created for us. When you lose your joy, what do you really have left?
You deserve more.
a lady met her psychiatrist and told him that he is always stressful of things that she need to do.. then he said, "when you rush to work, skip making the bed in the morning" she tried and after few days.. came back and told him, she did it although it hard in the beginning, but it works wonder..
there are many ways this story can be interpret, but to me it teaches me
1 - to be less perfectionist - not everything need to be polished or marginalized properly..
2 - differentiate what is nice to have, what is really needed - if i dont have it - its like i die, what is necessary but can wait , what i want and i must have it now not later .. etc .. eg , i know making bed is important or hygienic, but if i'm gonna miss the train and have a bad day all day long, is it worth to do it ?
3 - i dont prioritize because i dont believe it - but i do have a to do list and make sure at least i do 70% of it .. the other 30% i'll forgive myself if i dont do it - there will be tomorrow or other day ..
4 - i learn to keep my eye close for things that i know i'm unable to do it.. i am a very clean freak , but being married to the "traditional man" i know i cant do it all.. thus i only do few things on weekly basis (laundry, ironing..), some i do daily (cooking) and some i do it as and when i can..(grocery shopping, sweeping the floor...)
5 - i know i cant do everything i like to do in my life all at once - its gonna give me heart attack.. so i choose to do things within my capacity ..
to me it is all in our head.. you should try to relax and do not torture yourself of things that you need to do.. ya, maybe all are important - if you have to do it all , then try to take a deep breath , relax and enjoy whatever you are doing... ;)
As for the "painting party". In my heart and before I got so messed up/sick, I did wall murals, so for me to paint a room and decorate (certified in this) is a way for me to still see some of my old me is alive, albeit, slllllloooooowwwwwer. ROFLOL So I don't do a room in a few days....my home office took 1 month! But I was so proud I could still do it myself but slower.
The boys do help with the cleaning, vaccuuming, etc. It's the blasted running errands that kill me and stress me.
See, I am a home person at heart. I love nothing better than to be in my home, reading, sipping coffee and quiet. I used to walk some but now with my back I have to alternate walk/sit due to pain factors. Ah, well. I even tried those lovely rubber bands as they are supposed to be "gentle" however, OWWWW! I may go back and try those again. At least that is something? Oh, and yoga, darn near killed myself with my back. NAMASTAY meant just that NA, MA STAY! ROFLOL I'd lock or go numb!
I guess I just become so flustered at the unending interruptions and running. I do trying to do all in one trip. Like today.
I was supposed to give a speech, it got canceled. Before the speech I had a class at my church, it was also canceled because leader is ill. SOOOOO TODAY WAS FOR ME! WRONG. Note from teacher requires ASAP Meeting. So as I go to meeting wit teacher, I will stop by my fav thrift stores looking for "buried treasures." I LOVE THAT! Hubby, again thinks I'm insane. Oh, well, give me a certificate & trophy for that already. No, nix the trophy, have to dust the thing. ROFLOL
See, JEANNE, I do try to do for myself. I'm limited physically, but I think that is also why I push myself so hard cause I've been warned by doc with my condition I stop, I WILL STOP!
HUGS to you girl. You sound like lots & loads of fun. Me, even with my "bad days" I am a mischievious little irish imp! ROFLOL
Lists are what help keep a FMer's life semi-sort-of normal.
Believe me, I used to get on my hands and knees to assure myself my floors were evenly waxed. Now I'm just glad they are swept/mopped. Plus, I got alot of carpet.
ROFLOL
TRUE, THING MY MOM FAYE SAYS TO ME, "GIRL, THE LAST THING THEY DO WILL BE THROW DIRT ON YOU." I try to keep that in mind. And if I keep the house too clean, not only do I miss out on living but what would my grieving family do to keep busy after I go? ROFLOL It really will be therapy for them.
Hubby would come home and it looked like the house exploded cause I would take the couch cushions off to make islands in the floor and the two would play like they were in the ocean and the blue carpet had sharks. I then had time to REALLY RELAX & ENJOY them plus throw in a load of laundry or do dishes.
See, you have a baby, and it goes by so quickly. Here's a poem I always said to myself as I looked at my NOT MARTHA STEWART HOUSE (see really has issues I think! LOL)
THE HOUSE NEEDS CLEANING,
DUSTING & CLOTHES NEED WASHED.
BUT MY BABY IS CRYING
SO ROCKING, I MUST.
SO QUIET DO COBWEBS AND DUST GO TO SLEEP,
I'M ROCKING MY BABY CAUSE BABY'S DON'T KEEP.
I also figure it this way, with 4 kids, 2 still at home, and a grandson who I've begun the ENTIRE PROCESS OVER AGAIN, if some woman wants to marry my hubby after I'm gone, let her work and earn what I've earned. LOL
Hugs, just focus on the baby....girl, it goes by so quick and our grandson, I actually hurt because he's now no longer a baby but a toddler.
Life is short, make memories as no one will really remember there are dust bunnies mating behind the sofa if you keep it against the wall! ROFLOL
Plus get a crock pot and learn how to make crock pot meals. They have those at the grocery store. It will give you a WONDERFUL LIFE! Love & hugs
I just have too much on my plate, unfortunately and what makes it worse is that my body (FM, CFS,) cause me to be "down" for rest at periods of time that are extended.
My kitchen is "almost" finished but due to constant interruptions, and health, it's still not finished. It's those type of situations that aggravate the ba-jeebies out of me because when you are down due to FM & CFS, things pile up and then you play catch up.
It's just the viciousness of the cycle I suppose.
Take care of yourself and do get to the doctor.
In reading your post, making lists doesn't seem to be affecting how many things you actually get done. Something else must be affecting you not getting it done.
I think one key part to this is something I've been noticing in myself--things can take more time than you orginially thought, or an interruption delays you. But that's kinda a part of life, getting delayed and being thrown off your schedule. Even the airline industry can't get it right! What I think you're saying though, is that when you get thrown off your schedule, it really screws up some other important things you just have to get done. So for the really important stuff, I've been trying not to schedule anything too closely behind it. I won't take a chance that if it runs longer than I thought, it won't be a problem for the next thing I have to do. I'm trying to leave bigger spaces between my tasks.
I think it's a shame your family and household demands suck the life out of you! Normally if something is sucking the life out of you like that, you'd get rid of it. But you can hardly expect to get rid of your family! Maybe there are other areas you could negotiate on, or maybe enlist the aid of your family to help out with more household demands. I'd start wth that kitchen since it's in big bold caps like that!