My younger cousin, who is turning 18 in three months, was born out of wedlock (not such an anomaly in today's world) and is being raised by his grandmother. His grandmother did a great job raising him. He's smart, hard-working, mannerly, respectful, a football and track star, and has good grades. It seems his mother has recently, and finally, begun to take an interest in him. She has provided financial support all of his life, but he never lived with his mother except during stints when she moved back in with the grandmother. The father is kind of in the picture, but not really.

A group of us in the family (cousins and aunts) want to help finance the young man's college education. He wants to go away to school to get away from the tug-of-war between his mother and grandmother. Everyone agrees that this is a good idea except for the mother and grandmother. The mother wants him to graduate high school and then go to a local college in town while living with her. The young man is dubious about this possibility since she has never taken it upon herself to provide a home for them up to now. (I told you he was smart!) The grandmother, bless her heart, wants him to remain with her while he is in college but she lives a good ways away from any major college. The truth is that she has grown attached to him and has become dependent upon him for daily chores, etc. She recently kicked the mother out of the house and some speculate it is because the GM wants to tighten her bonds with the young man without the mother's interference. She recently told me to stop "encouraging" him to go to college in another city. I have never spoken to him about going to college in town or anywhere else. I did use to read to him when he was in grade school, many years ago.

This has now caused yet another major rift in the family. The young man wants to get out from under both ladies and the rest of us don't want to offend his mother or GM. I want to leave the whole situation alone but all three sides are trying to get me involved on their side. Parents have rights; Grandparents who raise grandchildren should have rights; and the young man is entitled to his own life. What do my friends on the board think?