Thank you to everyone for posting to projectgavin... I was going to but didn't have the energy at the time because I was so upset by what she was saying. I do have my rainbow baby on a monitor, but only so I can sleep knowing that he is safe- I know that it won't save him from dying of sids! It's stupid people like that that make our lives so much more difficult, you can't save a baby from dying of sids- my daughter was found within minutes and her heart was restarted but her brain had died.... there was no evidence that it died from a lack of oxygen which is what this women is thinking!!! Also, reflux I have been told can be found on a cellular level.

I just wanted to quickly add a note of apology to ChloeYueYue, who started this thread with a very valid question/discussion and I was sidetracked by dealing with projectgavin. Although it needed to be addressed, especially because of the high emotional response it caused, I do apologize for taking the focus away from Chloe's purpose for this thread. Chloe, I hope you accept my apologies, and please let me know if you have any remaining questions/concerns we can help you with. Hugs to everyone!

I haven't read all the responses, there are just so many caring people on here that responded! Anyway, from what I have researched, if it is true SIDS, you cannot stop it once the process starts. My little Kaiya was discovered very early, she was still alive and breathing, but was not responsive and was not breathing "right". 911 was called and CPR was started immediately as she declined quickly and stopped breathing shortly after she was found in the crib like that. She was not able to be saved. :-(

I'm going to have to go with angelkrp and others on this one ..

We have ALL asked the question "Could I have done something to prevent this?" and have all come to the same conclusion .. as resounding No. However .. it is our sworn duty as parents to do everything within our power to protect the lives entrusted to us and if that means using a piece of technology (apnea/sleep monitors) to do so and it helps us sleep at night with the knowledge that we did our best and the child dies anyway, then so be it .. we did all that we knew to do. Regardless of the research, which I'm not discounting by the way, I feel it is prudent to monitor our children as much as feasible in that time of their lives when they are most vulnerable. Apnea monitors are, what? a couple hundred bucks? That's not too bad for a few nights of sound sleep especially given that they can be reused. Hell, if money's that tight, let me know and I'll buy you one myself. Will it save your rainbow baby in the event of yet another bout of SIDS? Apparently the research says No. But when I'm sitting up with Willow on those long, cold nights at 4 AM bleary-eyed scared to death that this one will die, too, is it worth it? You're damned right, it is. I like my sleep and I like a smiling Willow.

Fact is, gentlemen (if there are any on here) it is our jobs to give our ladies the tools, means, and support to care for them and their children in the best way possible. We've been doing that for millenia. If that means a .45 by the bed, a stone castle to sleep in, a tank to drive to town in, or an automated gadget to monitor your child, then, by all means, do it. That's what we do .. we protect, provide, build, and kill to see to it that our partners and our proginy are safe, fed, warm, and comfortable. And when we have done all that we can and they are not one of those things, we provide the rock that they can lean on to get their bearings to try again.

my daughter was 2 weekz away form bein 5 monthz.nd she passed on the 30th of june of diz year...( a month ago) i wana know the same thing you wana know...itz so hard my hearte iz so broken dat all i do erryday iz sit there nd try ta figure out if there waz something i could of did to save my daughter.maybe if i jus stayed up[ that nite nd not sllep if she would steo be here????

I recently (like within the last few days) read that once the baby has died an autopsy report can't tell the difference between sleep apnea deaths and SIDS. i, too, have read the information that says that once the baby stops breathing (true SIDS cases) they are already brain dead, but what about cases of sleep apnea? Can they be "saved" if you get to them in time? I ask because sleep apnea runs in my family. My mother, my son, and myself all have it so I am concerned about Toby (whose death certificate and autopsy report we still haven't seen-almost a year later) and Iris.

I believe a SIDS baby can be saved. Just like a newborn takes more breaths, has a higher heart rate, but also everything is small and they all are converting from living in a bag of water, to dry air and now water can harm them. Well I believe SIDS has everything to do with the airway and that shuts down first, then the brain. I feel they call it sudden, because it happens so fast. I've saved my daughters life more than five times and she's six weeks today. She's on a monitor, but me watching her and staring at her is how. 1. She suddenly stops breathing and it's silent.
2. She stops moving
3. She begins turning blue
4. Then the machine goes off
5. I suction her airway
6. Then she starts moving and the numbers on the monitor begin going up and the monitor goes silent after she comes back.
This is a high end hospital grade monitor in a level 2 NICU Children's hospital. Not that it's delayed, it's that SIDS happens that fast and I believe some babies are simply at more risk because all babies learn at different rates. Learning to breath, swallow, cough, and eat are all new. Forgetting one can cost a baby their life and not all babies have it down perfectly. I truly believe a baby can be saved from SIDS with extremely close monitoring.