Stillbirth Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have been impacted by a stillbirth. A stillbirth occurs when a fetus which has died in the uterus, during labor, or during delivery exits a woman's body. For help and support, share your experiences and learn how others coped. Don't forget that you are not alone.

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Two months later...

huntersma
huntersma
It has been two months today since we lost our son, Hunter, and I still feel like I am in shock. I think about him everyday and just cry. Right now I am supposed to be 31 wks and preparing for our baby shower a week from Sunday on the 15th. We live in Chicago and we were so worried that the weather would not cooperate for the baby shower on the 15th..My family and I spoke about what we would do than. Would you believe that it has been one of the mildest winters that I can ever remember in Chicago. We have not had any significant snow fall and for the next two weeks temperatures are supposed to be in the 30s and 40s. My husband and I live in a condo that backs up to a park and right now there must be 10 children outside playing. Although when you live in Chicago you often find yourself praying for a mild Winter..This year I just wish it would be a blizzard on the 15th, so that I could blame not having my shower on the weather and NOT on the fact that my son no longer lives. I just want to scream! Why did this have to happen to us??? How am I possibly supposed to get through this? The sun continues to shine and my baby boy is gone. How does any of this make sense?
deleted_user
deleted_user
The 2nd month was bad for me, too. I remember feeling sad all the time and wondering how I could go on with life if I could never feel good again. The numbness had worn off and the reality was settling in by then.

I am so sorry that your baby shower is coming up. That is an awful reminder of what "should have" been.

I hope that you can keep some strength to get through the next couple of weeks. Each day, the grief will get easier to bear. I pray that God's grace will surround you and help to carry you through this dark valley. Hunter loves you so much, remember, he is always with you. ((Hugs!))
deleted_user
deleted_user
I lost my baby Kathryn Grace at almost 37 weeks. I am coming up on one month and I still cry all the time. I finally looked at her pictures ...I just miss her so. I often go thru the same thoughts you write about. I am praying for you and I hope our babies have met in heaven.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Oh, I feel your pain. I wish I could give you a big hug right now.

Tomorrow is my 2 month milestone and I just feel so sad. I was in labor at this point and it was getting really intense. I chose not to have an epidural so that I could feel all the pain and really experience the birth of my poor, sweet little Angel. It was somehow a magical experience, even though the outcome would not be good, and it was definitely spiritual. I keep reliving it today - over and over again.

Milestones suck. They are a reminder of what we've lost and that time goes by, even if our hearts are stuck back somewhere else. I hope you get through this milestone and come out on the other side, where peace and comfort surround you.

I will keep you in my thoughts and send you light and strength! xo
misssingmartiin
misssingmartiin
2 months was really hard for me too. I'm at 2.5 months right now so I feel similar. I feel in shock for a few day and then I have really bad heartbreaking days..Like the last 2 or 3 days have been. I'm sorry your baby shower date is coming. That's a rough one. I hope things get better for you and me and all of us. Hugs!
deleted_user
deleted_user
My shower date was a hard milestone for me too, as was the due date. It does get better, in a few days it will be 4 months for me. I still cry every day but I have happy days as well as sad ones. I was glad when all my milestones were done with... and the holidays. It will get better for you too - it doesn't make sense and it's totally unfair that this had to happen to any of us, but you WILL get through this.
deleted_user
deleted_user
My shower date was a hard milestone for me too, as was the due date. It does get better, in a few days it will be 4 months for me. I still cry every day but I have happy days as well as sad ones. I was glad when all my milestones were done with... and the holidays. It will get better for you too - it doesn't make sense and it's totally unfair that this had to happen to any of us, but you WILL get through this.
deleted_user
deleted_user
My shower date was a hard milestone for me too, as was the due date. It does get better, in a few days it will be 4 months for me. I still cry every day but I have happy days as well as sad ones. I was glad when all my milestones were done with... and the holidays. It will get better for you too - it doesn't make sense and it's totally unfair that this had to happen to any of us, but you WILL get through this.
deleted_user
deleted_user
My shower date was a hard milestone for me too, as was the due date. It does get better, in a few days it will be 4 months for me. I still cry every day but I have happy days as well as sad ones. I was glad when all my milestones were done with... and the holidays. It will get better for you too - it doesn't make sense and it's totally unfair that this had to happen to any of us, but you WILL get through this.
deleted_user
deleted_user
My shower date was a hard milestone for me too, as was the due date. It does get better, in a few days it will be 4 months for me. I still cry every day but I have happy days as well as sad ones. I was glad when all my milestones were done with... and the holidays. It will get better for you too - it doesn't make sense and it's totally unfair that this had to happen to any of us, but you WILL get through this.
deleted_user
deleted_user
We must have lost our boys around the same time. My son passed on november 1, 2011. Two months later, I.still cry every day. His funeral fell on the day his baby shower was supposed to be. Invitations had been sent out and everything.
What's so hard now is that my husband seems to be on a completely different level of grieving than I am. He laughs, smiles, enjoys life while I'm choking back tears every minute of every day.
I'm so terribly sorry. I will pray for you everyday. God bless each and every one of you ladies that have suffered this terrible loss.
deleted_user
deleted_user
We must have lost our boys around the same time. My son passed on november 1, 2011. Two months later, I.still cry every day. His funeral fell on the day his baby shower was supposed to be. Invitations had been sent out and everything.
What's so hard now is that my husband seems to be on a completely different level of grieving than I am. He laughs, smiles, enjoys life while I'm choking back tears every minute of every day.
I'm so terribly sorry. I will pray for you everyday. God bless each and every one of you ladies that have suffered this terrible loss.
deleted_user
deleted_user
We must have lost our boys around the same time. My son passed on november 1, 2011. Two months later, I.still cry every day. His funeral fell on the day his baby shower was supposed to be. Invitations had been sent out and everything.
What's so hard now is that my husband seems to be on a completely different level of grieving than I am. He laughs, smiles, enjoys life while I'm choking back tears every minute of every day.
I'm so terribly sorry. I will pray for you everyday. God bless each and every one of you ladies that have suffered this terrible loss.
deleted_user
deleted_user
We must have lost our boys around the same time. My son passed on november 1, 2011. Two months later, I.still cry every day. His funeral fell on the day his baby shower was supposed to be. Invitations had been sent out and everything.
What's so hard now is that my husband seems to be on a completely different level of grieving than I am. He laughs, smiles, enjoys life while I'm choking back tears every minute of every day.
I'm so terribly sorry. I will pray for you everyday. God bless each and every one of you ladies that have suffered this terrible loss.
deleted_user
deleted_user
We must have lost our boys around the same time. My son passed on november 1, 2011. Two months later, I.still cry every day. His funeral fell on the day his baby shower was supposed to be. Invitations had been sent out and everything.
What's so hard now is that my husband seems to be on a completely different level of grieving than I am. He laughs, smiles, enjoys life while I'm choking back tears every minute of every day.
I'm so terribly sorry. I will pray for you everyday. God bless each and every one of you ladies that have suffered this terrible loss.
deleted_user
deleted_user
We must have lost our boys around the same time. My son passed on november 1, 2011. Two months later, I.still cry every day. His funeral fell on the day his baby shower was supposed to be. Invitations had been sent out and everything.
What's so hard now is that my husband seems to be on a completely different level of grieving than I am. He laughs, smiles, enjoys life while I'm choking back tears every minute of every day.
I'm so terribly sorry. I will pray for you everyday. God bless each and every one of you ladies that have suffered this terrible loss.