Thanks to all the great mothers for the support here and sharing their stories. It has been a month i lost my precious, most wanted baby at 32 weeks when he was still born. i wanted to share my story here:
I always loved kids and little babies and when i got married i wanted to get pregnant as soon as possible. But after trying to conceive for 5 years i had almost lost hope. During these 5 years i had to undergo a surgery to remove a large ovarian cyst and also i was diagnosed to have problem in my tubes and it was almost impossible to conceive naturally.
In March 2014 when i unexpectedly missed my periods i never thought that i could have got pregnant. The positive pregnancy test brought be happiness and hope to live a life with a purpose. Even the early morning sickness symptoms would not give me any trouble. I used to vomit and feel happy about the baby who was growing inside me. i was counting the days when i will be able to hold my dear baby in my hands. I was so excited to go to the baby section of the mall for the first time to buy baby stuff for my dear little baby never knowing that i will never be using them. My pregnancy was all fine with no problems. I had no pains or aches. Every thing was so perfect. i Had checkups with my doctor and every time she said all is going well. It was sept 2014 and still my due date was in nov to come. I felt that my baby had not moved for a few days but being a first time mom i thought it is ok And did not take it serious. 2 days gone and no movement made me worried. i used to enjoy his movements before but now i kept on waiting for him to move. i tried to lay down and feel but nothing. when my husband came home from work i thought to discuss with him but he was so tired from all day work and i need not to give him any tensions. 2 more days passed and still no movements. Why?? i just kept on saying my baby is taking a long sleep and will wake up soon not knowing that he has gone to sleep for ever. next week finally i went to see the doctor. I still remember telling my husband in the waiting room that once i listen to the baby's heart beat i will be satisfied and that every thing will be ok. but but no i wish it would have not happened. there was no heart beat when the doctor put on the monitor. she told us to rush to the hospital and again the ultrasound confirmed that my baby has gone for ever. I was 32 weeks pregnant at that time not knowing i will have to deliver my dead baby. I was induced and i was lucky to have labor pains only for 3 hrs and delivered my baby without any stitches or tears. my baby never gave me any pain. only 8 months of happiness and gone for ever.
He was perfect, beautiful and so calm. i hold him for a few minutes, i wish i would have passed a bit more time with him. As soon as he left me i had a very high blood pressure and was shifted to intensive care.
Now i am all fine but so empty. Dont know why he came in my life for such a short time and left me forever. I dont know whether i became a mom or not but i will never ever forget my sweet little baby who left me so quickly.