Stillbirth Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have been impacted by a stillbirth. A stillbirth occurs when a fetus which has died in the uterus, during labor, or during delivery exits a woman's body. For help and support, share your experiences and learn how others coped. Don't forget that you are not alone.

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Celian 04/14/2014

Today marks 3 months since i delivered my sleeping princess at 38 weeks, and this has come with a massive attack of the empty arms syndrome..I desperately need to carry my baby, its a physical ache, akin to a terrible thirst where your throat is so dry and you would kill for a sip of water. I live in Uganda Africa and here still babies don't even get to be weighed, so i don't know her weight. Anybody had this happen to them, and has advise for me?

mzjitt 04/14/2014

I did not experience that particular phenomenon with my angel but my heart goes out to you. It's been almost a year for me. Hugs to you!

ShrimpyMama 04/15/2014

Tomorrow is two months for us (also a 38 week loss). I really know what you mean about the empty arms. It is literally a physical ache. I wish I had advice...I just ride the wave until it subsides. I also try to believe that someday I'll fill these aching arms with our baby. Or more than one (but then I feel greedy for thinking that and think, "okay, at least ONE!")

I don't know our daughter's length, and that fact KILLS me. :(

I am not yet at the point where I can hold other people's babies. I don't know if I'll ever feel like I can until I bring my own living baby into the world. I think it would undo me.

deleted_user 04/15/2014

I agree with Shrimpymama, i usually just ride the wave of pain until its gone.

I haven't been able to hold a baby since i lost my first girl back in 2012. Both my SIL are due and I don't know how i'm going to survive that. Two little babies about to come into this world, and i would love to hold them, but i know that if i do i'm going to start sobbing.

Celian 04/16/2014

Thanks for the replies ladies, urgh..its really tough! My sister had a baby girl one week after I had my sleeping princess, and I had no choice but to be there for her delivery in the hospital and stuff. She looked after me in the hospital when she was 40 weeks pregnant herself so I had to be brave for her too. I was afraid how I would react to her baby, but once she was born and I carried her, there was very clear distinction between her baby and mine. I knew right then that i didn't want any baby, just my Sinza. I have carried her baby around a lot since, but its just not the same!

IsaiahandAaronsMama 05/01/2014

Don't think this is silly but to ease the ache I would hold a bag of flour or sugar. I wouldn't take it out of the house but the weight of it felt good in my arms. It's nothing close to what our babies would have felt like but it helped a little.

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