Spouses of Transgender Community Group
Being transgender it's not easy but neither for their spouses. This group is created with the intention of helping and getting to know others that are in. the same situation or to just educate those that are on the other side of the fence and want to know how does it feel or how would it feel to be a spouse of a transgender person. The main objective of this group is...
new rant and probably a little pity party, but one
birdie23
First, let me say, I am not receiving updates on who responds to what or who posts new stuff. So thank you for the support and words.
Most definitely this is an abusive relationship. Not one purposely put on by my spouse, I don't think, but put on by society which he is following to a tee. I've been called controlling, I have been told I am attacking him by giving alternate information and opinions, I have been reminded over and over again that the pain he is going through is far worse than what I am going through. What about us? What about those of us who have lived with, who know our partners better than anyone else and sees what is really going on? Nope. Not our right to say anything contrary. We're anti-trans or transphobic if we even remotely voice the opinion of 'hey, this doesn't seem right.' I don't know how many men out there who are going through the same experience, but this feels like another woman thing. If that makes sense. We're supposed to be loving and accepting and understanding and we certainly don't know what we're talking about. We're just feeling 'hurt' or are 'very emotional' about it. Forget that we could actual be thinking, rational, objective human beings. No, the subject is just too close to home for us to see clearly.
How in the world are we supposed to fight this when we are already the underdog in so many other ways?
You all are awesome and it is so good to know that so many have gone through, are going through or are just starting to go through this. It isn't fair. Your pain is real. Your thoughts are perfectly valid.
I'm still fighting this. For once in my life, I am refusing to let someone else tell me I am wrong (baggage from previous relationships have carried over, I get that) about something I know more about than most people.
I don't think the outcome is going to go the way it should, because, well, it's a mental illness that everyone refuses to see.
Oh, here's an anecdote...my husband is on a trans Facebook page. Someone posted something about a transwoman who is, now after surgery, experiencing cramps. Everyone made jokes about it and someone said that it was a psychosomatic thing. Helllllloooooo? How is that any different than feeling like you "feel" like the opposite sex? Hypocrisy at its best, my friends.
Most definitely this is an abusive relationship. Not one purposely put on by my spouse, I don't think, but put on by society which he is following to a tee. I've been called controlling, I have been told I am attacking him by giving alternate information and opinions, I have been reminded over and over again that the pain he is going through is far worse than what I am going through. What about us? What about those of us who have lived with, who know our partners better than anyone else and sees what is really going on? Nope. Not our right to say anything contrary. We're anti-trans or transphobic if we even remotely voice the opinion of 'hey, this doesn't seem right.' I don't know how many men out there who are going through the same experience, but this feels like another woman thing. If that makes sense. We're supposed to be loving and accepting and understanding and we certainly don't know what we're talking about. We're just feeling 'hurt' or are 'very emotional' about it. Forget that we could actual be thinking, rational, objective human beings. No, the subject is just too close to home for us to see clearly.
How in the world are we supposed to fight this when we are already the underdog in so many other ways?
You all are awesome and it is so good to know that so many have gone through, are going through or are just starting to go through this. It isn't fair. Your pain is real. Your thoughts are perfectly valid.
I'm still fighting this. For once in my life, I am refusing to let someone else tell me I am wrong (baggage from previous relationships have carried over, I get that) about something I know more about than most people.
I don't think the outcome is going to go the way it should, because, well, it's a mental illness that everyone refuses to see.
Oh, here's an anecdote...my husband is on a trans Facebook page. Someone posted something about a transwoman who is, now after surgery, experiencing cramps. Everyone made jokes about it and someone said that it was a psychosomatic thing. Helllllloooooo? How is that any different than feeling like you "feel" like the opposite sex? Hypocrisy at its best, my friends.
birdie23
StrongerToday, I can't wait to hear more of your thoughts. The more I have done the research and watched my husband's behavior and listened to the things he has told me about other transgender people from groups he has joined, well, there is no doubt in my mind that this is some very odd bandwagon that society has jumped on without looking at how rickety the wheels are, who is pulling the thing, where it is headed, or even and especially, where it originated.
AthenaDogani
I've already shared my conspiracy theory with you birdie.... follow the money. The pharmaceutical companies gain profit by keeping people on hormones their whole lives and then antidepressants when they decide to come off... and the plastic surgeons get to make dough in the guise of doing something helpful for this community. (eyeroll)
birdie23
Yep, there is profit in them thar hills!!
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