Smoking Addiction & Recovery Support Group
The CDC claims that nicotine is a "very addictive drug" that can be "as addictive as heroin or cocaine." Nicotine is typically eliminated from the body within 2 to 3 days, however, physical and psychological withdrawal symptoms may last for much longer depending on the individual. If you are trying to kick the habit, this community is dedicated to giving smokers the...
This is a support group. That means we support each other through thick and thin, better or worse, sickness and health. Gee, does this have a familiar ring?
OK, so we aren't all legally bound to each other. So what? That doesn't matter. What does matter is that everyone should have the freedom and peace of mind to be able to express their feelings, no matter what side of the fence they are on, or even if they are still on the fence.
That means if someone is depressed (side effect of nicotine deprivation), feeling down (side effect of nicotine deprivation), strung out (side effect of nicotine deprivation), or expressing any other negative condition or emotion (whether side effect of nicotine deprivation or not), they should feel safe to come here to bare their heart, soul, and mind without worry of condemnation or any other remark against them.
If there is doubt or worry about how they will be taken, how the others here will react or respond, then this is no long a support group - it is a clique. I will not be a part of a clique. I've left other groups because of that very reason. I'm not suggesting I'm even considering leaving, just laying out the facts. This is, by far, the best group I've ever had the honor of being a part of. If I didn't care about it and it's members, my friends whether on my list or not, I wouldn't be typing this right now.
It also means that if you don't agree with what someone has said, you should be as free to reply with courtesy and compassion as they were to express themselves. It is part of how the group stays on course and does not degrade to a bunch of self-pitying, whine-enabling snivelers who only want to wallow in their misery instead of doing anything about it. I've left a couple of groups like that, too.
Now I'm not suggesting anyone here has done any of that. Expressing one's depression, sorrow, and feeling down is not whining and sniveling. It is getting things out instead of keeping them bottled up, which is extremely healthy. I strongly encourage doing that.
Nor am I suggesting anyone has reacted badly to someone who has expressed their feeling down. Voicing one's concern that the trend is becoming depressing can prevent healthy expression from degrading to unhealthy whining for the sake of receiving pity.
Every group I've ever seen has had times like this. We are all in various stages of quits. The newer the quit, the more raw the emotions. The older the quit, sometimes the less tolerant of those raw emotions one may become. I will honestly tell you there have been a few times over the past 3+ years I've wanted to say to some new quitters (and a few longer term ones, as well), "Quit your whining and just not smoke, for God's sake!" OK, I'm human. So shoot me. It was those times I simply backed off until I returned to being accepting and in my heart again.
So let's all learn from this episode, calm ourselves with some deep breaths, focus inward to our own heart spaces, and get on with our own quits and supporting others in theirs.
Blessings everyone.
With love to you all.
Shevie
OK, so we aren't all legally bound to each other. So what? That doesn't matter. What does matter is that everyone should have the freedom and peace of mind to be able to express their feelings, no matter what side of the fence they are on, or even if they are still on the fence.
That means if someone is depressed (side effect of nicotine deprivation), feeling down (side effect of nicotine deprivation), strung out (side effect of nicotine deprivation), or expressing any other negative condition or emotion (whether side effect of nicotine deprivation or not), they should feel safe to come here to bare their heart, soul, and mind without worry of condemnation or any other remark against them.
If there is doubt or worry about how they will be taken, how the others here will react or respond, then this is no long a support group - it is a clique. I will not be a part of a clique. I've left other groups because of that very reason. I'm not suggesting I'm even considering leaving, just laying out the facts. This is, by far, the best group I've ever had the honor of being a part of. If I didn't care about it and it's members, my friends whether on my list or not, I wouldn't be typing this right now.
It also means that if you don't agree with what someone has said, you should be as free to reply with courtesy and compassion as they were to express themselves. It is part of how the group stays on course and does not degrade to a bunch of self-pitying, whine-enabling snivelers who only want to wallow in their misery instead of doing anything about it. I've left a couple of groups like that, too.
Now I'm not suggesting anyone here has done any of that. Expressing one's depression, sorrow, and feeling down is not whining and sniveling. It is getting things out instead of keeping them bottled up, which is extremely healthy. I strongly encourage doing that.
Nor am I suggesting anyone has reacted badly to someone who has expressed their feeling down. Voicing one's concern that the trend is becoming depressing can prevent healthy expression from degrading to unhealthy whining for the sake of receiving pity.
Every group I've ever seen has had times like this. We are all in various stages of quits. The newer the quit, the more raw the emotions. The older the quit, sometimes the less tolerant of those raw emotions one may become. I will honestly tell you there have been a few times over the past 3+ years I've wanted to say to some new quitters (and a few longer term ones, as well), "Quit your whining and just not smoke, for God's sake!" OK, I'm human. So shoot me. It was those times I simply backed off until I returned to being accepting and in my heart again.
So let's all learn from this episode, calm ourselves with some deep breaths, focus inward to our own heart spaces, and get on with our own quits and supporting others in theirs.
Blessings everyone.
With love to you all.
Shevie
caring, understanding, patience, active listening,
help, love, assistance, mentoring, re-assurance,
*HUGS*, hand holding, openess, kindness, humor,
indivdualism, commonalities,...............I could
go on and on. The opposite of support to me:
judgement, criticism, bossiness, closed mindedness,
hurtfulness, ridicule,....................I could
go on and on. Hopefully, this IS a support group?!
I have been fiddling around with a message something akin to yours but you are far better at cutting to the heart of the matter and you are also braver than I am. I agree wholeheartedly with you...once you begin to put limitations on what we can and cannot say then we may as well live in China where they put on a "happy face" for the Olympics but in reality their government determines what you can and cannot say, what you can and cannot support, what you can and cannot do, who you can and cannot communicate with etc etc etc. Recovering from an addiction as strong as a nicotine addiction is no easy task and there is no one easy way to do it. We all experience our INDIVIDUAL quits, this is NOT a cookie cutter event. Actually this is not an event at all, it's a process that takes more than just a few weeks to overcome. I think most of us try to sum up rhe title of our threads in just a few words so look at the words, you will basically know where the thread goes before reading it. I think we are all pretty intelligent folks and can decipher the thread titles enough to decide if we want to read and respond or just move on to other threads. Someone did start a thread and a new group...don't remember who but I'm sure others will jump in here but the bottom line was she does not allow "slips" because she only wants a positive spin on quitting. I pass no judgement on that as I'm sure that is what some need to quit successfully. I strongly suggest to those who hate to see the nature of a group undergo a change to view their own lives...have you not changed? Have you not grown toward/away from that which you held as true? The very nature of a support group is that folks come and they go and take what they need, give what they can and move on with their lives...is this not the optimal outcome???
Thank you also for the bump a couple days ago. I tend to miss discussions if they are not on the top page. Thanks, VR