This is a support group. That means we support each other through thick and thin, better or worse, sickness and health. Gee, does this have a familiar ring?

OK, so we aren't all legally bound to each other. So what? That doesn't matter. What does matter is that everyone should have the freedom and peace of mind to be able to express their feelings, no matter what side of the fence they are on, or even if they are still on the fence.

That means if someone is depressed (side effect of nicotine deprivation), feeling down (side effect of nicotine deprivation), strung out (side effect of nicotine deprivation), or expressing any other negative condition or emotion (whether side effect of nicotine deprivation or not), they should feel safe to come here to bare their heart, soul, and mind without worry of condemnation or any other remark against them.

If there is doubt or worry about how they will be taken, how the others here will react or respond, then this is no long a support group - it is a clique. I will not be a part of a clique. I've left other groups because of that very reason. I'm not suggesting I'm even considering leaving, just laying out the facts. This is, by far, the best group I've ever had the honor of being a part of. If I didn't care about it and it's members, my friends whether on my list or not, I wouldn't be typing this right now.

It also means that if you don't agree with what someone has said, you should be as free to reply with courtesy and compassion as they were to express themselves. It is part of how the group stays on course and does not degrade to a bunch of self-pitying, whine-enabling snivelers who only want to wallow in their misery instead of doing anything about it. I've left a couple of groups like that, too.

Now I'm not suggesting anyone here has done any of that. Expressing one's depression, sorrow, and feeling down is not whining and sniveling. It is getting things out instead of keeping them bottled up, which is extremely healthy. I strongly encourage doing that.

Nor am I suggesting anyone has reacted badly to someone who has expressed their feeling down. Voicing one's concern that the trend is becoming depressing can prevent healthy expression from degrading to unhealthy whining for the sake of receiving pity.

Every group I've ever seen has had times like this. We are all in various stages of quits. The newer the quit, the more raw the emotions. The older the quit, sometimes the less tolerant of those raw emotions one may become. I will honestly tell you there have been a few times over the past 3+ years I've wanted to say to some new quitters (and a few longer term ones, as well), "Quit your whining and just not smoke, for God's sake!" OK, I'm human. So shoot me. It was those times I simply backed off until I returned to being accepting and in my heart again.

So let's all learn from this episode, calm ourselves with some deep breaths, focus inward to our own heart spaces, and get on with our own quits and supporting others in theirs.

Blessings everyone.
With love to you all.
Shevie