It's just been my daughter and I since she was 9 months old. When she was one I went back to full time work and she was in full time day care. My Mum and Dad lived 8 hours away so we were on our own. When she was about 18 months old my body just shut down. I woke up exhausted so I jumped in the shower, got out and it was a huge chore just to dry myself. I rang my sister in law and asked if she could take my daughter to day care and after she left I thought I will just lie down for a minute and and hour later I woke up still with the towel wrapped around my head. It was like this all day and took me about a week to feel 100% better. When she was 2 I had a bulged disc in my back so that was the next challenge as you well know. I know that about a week before I'm due I get very snappy and very hungry (bugger) and it always takes me a while to realize what it is. Yes you can feel so overwhelmed at times but what I did was stop trying to be super mum and just be mum. Take the pressure off yourself, you're doing a great job and your daughter loves you no matter if your just a regular mum. Start some vitamins and see your Doctor for a check up. Things will get better.

I have dealing with what you are going through for about a year,even though my sons father and I have recently split. it is like he was never really there any way.And I feel that same way all the time ok and then getting frustrated with everything and not knowing what to do.
i definatly understand

Thanks to both of you.

Still... it's not that I'm trying to be supermom, but rather the challenges of the demands (feeling like everyone or everything wants a piece of me) is taking a toll. Thanks for sharing your experience though, it helps to know I'm not alone with what it's like for me. And I happen to have my annual check up with my doctor next week and I'm going to talk to her about things again then. Although I don't feel her very attentive to my communications because she knows of my sleep deprivation and of the stress I've been going through this year. But I'll talk to her again. I'm curious to know what's hormones and what's the reality of my situation (stress of the demands).

Stephany... I understand your situation too - with being a single mom even when your partner was there. I went through that too. He'd come over a few hours and oogle our daughter and help with a few things then leave. He wasn't a real partner to me or real parent to our daughter, supposedly because of how difficult things were for him - go figure!

Thanks for both your responses. It really helps to know I'm not alone with how I feel and to hear feedback in general.

i have a 4 year old that since me and his dad slpit he turned into a little trouble maker due to his dad not alway beeing around i work go to school and am a mom...it's hard but i keep telling myself things can only get so much better...((HUGS))

I hve 2 little boogers and am also taking care of them by myself, have pretty much since they were born. We were going to get pizza tonite and my check engine light comes on and then theres a huge line and all the little brats wanna do is sit in the back seat and aggravate each other! LOL I can laugh now, but it wasnt so funny earlier. I was so stressed with the car that I was screaming at the kids to stop singing with the radio. I also had a bad day with my mg today, so I was not in a very good mood. I think you first need to take care of yourself. You cant be all you can be unless you are well. And we cant make all the people happy all the time. I am constantly telling my kids that lifes not fair! Because of course all I hear is ,"that's not fair" LOL
I dont have a bulging or herniated disk, however I do have mg, my muscles lose their strength very quikly, somedays I have a very hard time just walking. I have had to learn to slow down and sleep and rest as much as possible. For instance, once my kids go to school I go back to bed until 11 or so, that way I can save my energy for the kids. Try to take a nap when your daughter does, if you dont' already. Its not easy being a single parent and lots of other things can make it even harder. Kids are a handful and when u hafta worry about the house and ur vehicle and and the bills things can get very overwhelming. When I get to that point and oh I have so many times, I find that not thinking about it and just taking it one day at a time helps. When you start thinking about all of it at once it can just make ya crazy! Deal with one thing at a time and just do what you can each day. Thats a lesson I've just learned. It's ok if the dishes dont get done, and its ok if you just take a day to relax, trust me it will all be there 2mro.
Tonite after all the craziness, I took my daughter to spend the nite with a friend, and my son and I colored a picture together and had some hot chocolate. You don't know how much fun we had with those simple little things. It made me forget about the rest of the day and all the things I didnt get done. I'd even say it was a bit of a stress reliever, at least I did one thing to make one person happy. Good luck and if you ever wanna talk I'm here.

Thanks for your replies everyone - it helps me to feel I'm human and it's ok and normal for things to be crappy and to not always have to be in a good mood.

Crazy... thanks for sharing your recent stressful experience, it helps. And believe me... I know the house cleaning and other things can wait - they have to at times, I have no choice - I simply can't do it all. That's the hard part for me - managing all of the demands I face each day. But like you, I really relish in the simple things - a little down time for myself for a few minutes after I put my daughter down to bed at night. I wish I could nap when she does, but that's when I have to take advantage of that time to work. Like I say, my plate is full!

I know balance is important, and I work hard with that in all areas - eating healthy, and I find playgroups are a real lifeline for me too - where she gets social time with other kids, and I get to talk to other moms and get a little support and can connect with other moms (mostly they're all married though). I guess it's been getting to me now because I haven't been able to get to the support groups since before xmas, and I guess missing those outings (like I said, lifelines for me) have started to take it's toll. So, I'm glad xmas is over and our regular schedule is beginning again.

A part of my problem is living in a more remote area, is if the weather is bad (living up North with lots of snow), we don't go out, which I guess can lead to a little bit of stir craziness!

Anyhow, it's great to talk to people who really get it - thanks.

oops... I meant that not getting to the playgroups (not support groups) is getting to me. (Interesting mistake though!)

oh, i have 3 young ones so I understand the frustrations and the toll it takes....((((big hugssssssss to all))))))))

I love the challenges of being a single parent and I wish I had more of them :oP

I am a single father of a 3 year old, me and him are best of buddies, he is a daddy's boy and we do everything together (when I am not working).

I work in construction so I know how you feel about hurting and needing some down time, just get your children involved with you, do simple things when you can and relax, read too them, stuff like that.
also have them help you always with the house chores, even if they make a mess they learn and get better, my little one helps me with shopping/cooking/cleaning.
he is potty trained and talking in sentences and so much much more.
and we BOTH are Autistics.
Life and parenting is what you make it, I know thats an easy thing to say because at times it can be hard as hell to do, but its still a joy to me.

I have 2 teenage sons. I work full time at a preschool. I was just dx with fibromyalgia and lupus. I am always tired but I have to work everyday to pay the bills. Its hard but the joy comes when the kids get older and can appreciate what their mother has done for them and one day they will. Mine are getting there. Keep your chin up. I ahve been on my own for about 11 years.

Yes, I can really relate. I'm a full time nontraditional college student. My husband walked out 9 months ago just a few weeks after my father passed away and 3 days before final exams. I guess if I can survive that I can survive anything, but it has been really rough. This past semester I had problems affording my daughters preschool while I was in classes. I had pneumonia for 8 weeks (was hospitalized for a week) and my daughter broke her arm at a little friend's birthday party. Don't even get me started on keeping up with the house and our pets; some days I feel so anxious & exhausted I think I'm going to cry or scream. All I can say is there have been some good times too. I only dropped one class this fall. I have found many great friends and mentors through school. My daughter is a joy and reminds me what life is really all about. If you hang on there is always light at the end. Taking it one day at time gets me through.

Hugs,
Dee

It looks like there are so many single mom's going through so many of the same things. I recently hit a very very low spot in my life and still haven't found a way out of it. I have two boys the oldest will be 7 in three weeks and the youngest is 4 1/2. I have been on my own since I was 3 months pregnant with my second. I don't have extended family that I speak to, never mind anyone that would ever help us out. I couldn't even get help for one hour when my 2 year old need to go to the hospital for stitches in his head. I too have been sleep deprived for such a long time. I don't remember when I really had energy. I recently went for a check up and my iron was low so maybe that was partly to blame for my lack of energy too. I have gained weight and been very depressed too. Since Christmas I have been trying very hard to eat better and find time to work out. Hoping that getting into better shape will help me in other areas too. Lately I have been having suicidal thoughts because it has just been one bad thing after another that has happened. I always wanted to be a mom and love my boys with all my heart, but it is a struggle on a daily basis and I find that I am rarely happy any more. I want to have an adult relationship and don't see that ever happening either. Today I went to see about a helmet for my son so he can play hockey at school, no helmet no going on the rink period. The helmets cost a minimum of $39 and I have $33 in my bank account. Things like this make me want to give up because now my son is once again disappointed and I feel like a complete loser. I have looked for programs to help us out and so far I have found nothing that works for us. This year we ended up asking for a Christmas hamper and I was utterly humiliated by that. When it was delivered the lady was so rude. She asked how much my rent was and stated that we lived in a pretty nice place. Uh ya I take pride in my home and do my best to make it nice. Our rent went up by over $200 in the last year and there is no where for us to move to at this point. I can't afford rent and food every month. Then she goes outside and we hear her tell her husband "leave that box in the car, I don't think they need a Turkey" Our place is decent but it isn't fancy, our couch is a broken down futton, with a nice blanket on it. So in the end our Christmas really sucked. We had sliced ham and potatoes, no stuffing no turkey or cranberries, no dessert. A few years ago I was a volunteer putting together hampers. I know what goes into them and I know how much they chose to keep for themselves. It was a humiliation that I could have done without. It reminded me once again that asking for help just isn't going to work for us ever. If my boys were younger I would actually consider giving them up so that they could have a chance at a better life. Being with them is the only way that I know they are at least loved and OK, right now it's all that keeps me going.

Aislyn, thanks so much for sharing your experience. I find that when I hear about what things are like for other single moms, that it's not just me feeling the way I do, and it helps a lot.

I'm sorry about how things have been for you. I can't believe the lady didn't give you the other box of food just because your home looked decent and respectable. We all need help in these ways at times, regardless of where we live. So I can't believe the ignorance and attitude of that woman. Don't feel shame in having asked for help with food, you're human and are trying to get by like the rest of us. And we all have needs in more or less extremes in different areas, and it's ok to need things.

Please don't turn your back on asking for help. There really are places and people out there that will help you, it just may be a matter of time for you to find that fit and your willingness to be open to it. Try and be open and willing to any help that may come your way and you may find yourself noticing it there in little areas.

The magic of xmas came for me when a lady I don't recall meeting in my community (small town) called me up and asked me if I could use a turkey and if I'd bought one for xmas yet. Apparently a man won some from our local store and had too many for his freezer and called her to ask if anyone she knew could use one. Lucky me... he even dropped it off for me with a couple of boxes of stuffing. So, there are good people out there, that are willing to help. Don't ever give up on that idea.

Otherwise, if you ever need to chat, feel free to message me. I know it's not easy, but it doesn't always have to be hard either. Things can change. I've been working on a plan to create changes for myself - I have too!

I wish you all the best.

Sending extra hugs to you all today....... being a parent is one of the most stressful jobs there is. WE all need that support system to get through it.... and always some well needed hugs.....((((((((((HUGSSSSSSSSSSS)))))))

I can understand about the sleep deprivation. My daughter is 13 now, but she didn't sleep well until she was 8! Not to alarm you, but to let you know that I did survive, as did she, and that everything changes as they grow up. I am a single mom of two girls, I work a full-time job as well as tutor to make ends meet. I live in a big city, which I am sure is helpful in a lot of ways and stressful in others. Do you have a friend who has a small child with whom you can share some responsibilities or give each other a day off by watching each others' kids? Rest and self-care is vital. Eating well and exercise will help too. Are you able to do that? My back has problems too and I also have a thyroid condition. It seems that a lot of us suffer from these types of physical constraints, probably due to stress. However, remember that staying in a bad relationship is more detrimental to the health then being alone and away from the negativity. Hang in there!