Sexually Transmitted Diseases - Female Support Group

Sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) are diseases or infections that have a significant probability of transmission between humans by means of sexual contact. This community is devoted to helping any women seeking support with STDs, whether you have one or you know someone else who does.

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/ Sexually Transmitted Diseases - Female Support Group

DATING WITH HERPES

deleted_user
deleted_user
Ok I am beyond frustrated with dating. First of all I am struggling to find a good time to tell a man that I have herpes. Do i tell him in the beginning? Or when we date a little longer? or just before we have sex and perhaps make him mad i didn't tell him earlier? but then how would that give him time to like me for me?I have tried each of these time frames to tell the person I'm with that i have herpes and each time has blown up in my face. It just kills me because I am so responsible with my medicine and clean and everything is normal down there completely. My doctor even told me i can have a normal sex life as long as we are careful and I am not having an outbreak. I used to have a bf and we had sex all the time, even unprotected a lot and he never got anything. And after us being broken up for a long time I've tried dating again and it is making me depressed. I feel like Im being shunned away for this std i got due to a forceful horrible event that happened when i was young. Its not just guys that I have a hard time with, my friends talk about herpes and other stds and how it would be horrible to have and how whoever has it must be a hoe and shouldn't try and date. none of them know about my herpes because then they would just be fake to my face about how they really feel about it. I feel like people are so unsympathetic and so undereducated about it. Herpes doesn't kill you. it is just annoying sometimes in my case. Ive tried dating sites for people with herpes and it never worked out and i could never find anyone in my area and everyone was at least 30 years older than me. what should i do? keep trying until i find the right guy who accepts all of me? or should i just stay huddled away from dating all together because of what i have?
mfilas76
mfilas76
I don't think that's fair at all. Many people are understanding of this disease. Those who aren't - aren't worth your time anyways. If they cannot accept ALL of you, what's the point of having them around? I have been going on dates, and after two - before the third - if they are great and I want to continue, then I tell them. "Usually" it's over text, or over the phone. I wouldn't want to face rejection face-to-face. I haven't really had any issues so far...mostly curiosity. I have only told a couple of my friends, and I have had it for 17 years or so.
mollymoe
mollymoe
Please don't lose hope! i know it hard and frustrating and hurtful. your right some people are undereducated and unsympathetic, mostly because they're misinformed. I had little choice in how i contracted herpes and how my friends found out about it. It was very scary for me, but i realized those that truly care about you, will not care about it. And if they do, you don't need someone that judgmental in your life.
As far as dating i had a hard time with this too, but ultimately i decided to tell someone when i started becoming attached, to lessen the blow of rejection, to make it easier to walk away and forget about them, anything else is too hard. When i told them i allowed them to one time ask me anything about it. Expect stupid questions, and try not to take it too personal, a lot people are misinformed, a lot of people still believe everything they read on the internet.
Don't lose hope! i've been with my husband for almost four years now. He loves and accepts me everything about me including this. I hope this is helpful to you.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Thanks you guys! I think I am having a hard time especially because a lot of people within my age group are so consumed in random hook ups but at the same time consider anyone with an STD to be a slut. I don't understand it, it is extremely contradicting. I do want a relationship but Im 20 years old and n one seems to want the same. Molly its good to hear that you are married:) may i ask a few questions though? Did he have it too when you met him? If not, has he gotten it since being with you? what age did you guys meet? Am i just being too impatient? I just want some form of intimacy even if its just kissing, but my secret is really suppressing my confidence. also if some of the questions are too personal i understand if you don't want to answer...just curious.
mollymoe
mollymoe
Not a problem at all. When we met i was 21 and he was 24. No he did not have it, actually my husband was a virgin (shocking i know). I have health insurance through my parents but sadly he does not so hes never gotten checked out. We assume he has it, since we've been together for almost 4 years now but he hasn't had an outbreak.

No i don't think your being too impatient. I was pretty impatient. lol. It's hard to have that confidence. I think what was most important for me was coming to terms with it myself. Cuz if i couldn't accept it, how could i expect anyone else too, you know?
Anyways, i hope ive been helpful.
myherpeslife
myherpeslife
I don`t know when is the best time for you to tell your partner about the heres condition, since each person have a different situation. However, it`s not a good time to break the news before you have sex and it will definitely make him mad. You should educate your self about this condition and learn how to have the talk, post like http://www.livingwithherpes12.com/how-to-tell-your-partner-if-you-have-herpes/ maybe good resource for you.

I agree with your doctor that you can still have normal sex life even you contacted with herpes, there are so many people have the same situation, it should not be the end of dating and sex life. If you have tried online dating websites for people with herpes, ensure that you had joined the right site, http://www.herpesdatingsites.biz/ will be helpful for your online herpes dating.
taken520
taken520
Trying to date someone is difficult enough with the added worry of herpes. This is so hard for telling, but you have to talk out about your deep feelings, because it will kill you one day. The problem is the that you are care too much about others or your partner, I think you should try to use a different way to protect them and yourself, be strong to tell them you are getting herpes and ask if he wants to fight with you or having sex with you in a safe way, come on it can work out together, you can read this article to about dating someone with herpes, http://www.datingwithherpesol.com/how-to-date-with-herpes/.

Plus, I think you can have sex with people you like, I will admit in the beginning I didn't do a very good job of telling a guy, I cried and blurt it out. but when I tell the guy I want to have sex with, he loves my sincere and help me, talk to me, we have sex in a normal way, he understands me and willing to date with me. And now, sometimes I will use the site to date, hope this can help you too.
http://biherpesdating.com/
huangcong
huangcong
Many people who have been diagnosed with genital herpes often feel alone, as if their prospects for dating are non-existent and as if they will never find love. There is a very unfair social stigma surrounding genital herpes even though it comes from the same virus as oral herpes, and nobody was ever turned down for a date because they once had a cold sore! With a little preparation and a few resources, it is just as easy to date with herpes.

Check this guide on 'How to Date With Herpes', it will tell you everything that you need to know about the herpes simplex virus and how to date when you have herpes.

https://www.herpesdatingsites.com/how-to-date-with-herpes/
natalieo
natalieo
Here is a blogger who is awesome. She is around our age and explains her feelings towards it. Actually makes me cry because she expresses the same thoughts I had/have. Take some time to read and watch her stuff. It is great

https://ellacydawson.wordpress.com/
natalieo
natalieo
Oh to add to my comment from yesterday. I just told a guy that I have been flirting with and he was really appreciative about it and still wants to continue whatever it is we have. When the time comes condoms will be used (although those aren't perfect for protection) but at least it wasn't a rejection. There are some good guys out there.
ursulabrown
ursulabrown
Dating with genital herpes could be very embarrassing and overwhelming if need to tell a new partner that you have this condition. Enter herpes dating sites. Once you join dating sites, this can be the best solution to meeting possible new partners and it surely puts an end to that awkward and embarrassing conversation that should take place when you do have this medical condition.
For more: http://www.datingwitherpes.com
johnalexa
johnalexa
Hi Pinkrose,

CDC report shows that almost 1 in 6 people living with herpes in United States. But many people do not aware about this situation.
So, it's difficult for guys to accept your situation when you tell them you got herpes.

I agree with you that telling your boyfriend about your situation before dating. Here is a article about how to tell your partner you have herpes for your reference: http://greatist.com/live/how-to-tell-someone-you-have-an-std

Also, I suggest you give a try on some herpes dating sites. If you do not know which herpes dating site fits for you, you can read the review article about herpes dating site on topherpesdatingsites.info
returnofthemack
returnofthemack
I was 20 when I contracted it from someone that I was in a serious relationship with. I am now 30 and it has been a roller coaster of a dating experience. First off, I have noticed as I have gotten older, the stigma and peoples attitudes have not changed, so it is up to you to keep a positive attitude about it. I too, have always struggled of when to tell them. It makes me so nervous, but there have been a handful of guys that were very understanding and ended up in serious relationships with and herpes only had to come up when I had an outbreak. A lot of guys have actually liked me MORE after I told them because they said they couldn't believe I would share something that personal. Do not stay huddled away from dating! I know it is tempting but that will only make you feel worse. Just remember that there are people out there who will understand.
tylerhandsome
tylerhandsome
Hi everyone. Like anyone here in the group, i understand what you are going through and like me i also encounter depression and hopeless because of my condition. Unfortunately, i didn't want to suffer all the depressions and emotions, and find my self in a comfortable zone. I did through a lot of challenges and come to an end that its not the end, you can still be happy and get out of your comfort zone and be yourself. Feel like you're free and you have the whole world joining with you. I'm better now and i'm thankful for all the people who supported me in my journey. Another way you can enjoy is by joining an online dating site, yes this is very true. I want to share with you this site and i know everyone knows about these https://www.meetpositives.com/best-herpes-dating-website/. Give it try and you will also feel the happiness i have right now, being with someone that truly understand my world and myself!
karallylong
karallylong
It is not easy to live with herpes. do you hope to date someone in the same boat for friendship, love, support? For single with herpes, I would like to share the best herpes dating resources, you can give one of top recommended site a try.
babypassion
babypassion
La confianza entre las parejas es lo más importante! Creo que debemos conversar al respecto y mas si esperas estar en una relación para toda la vida. Algunos consejos...usa preservativos. Si deseas contactarme http://www.firstclassfortlauderdaleescorts.com/
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