Sexual Abuse Support Group
Sexual abuse is a relative cultural term used to describe sexual relations and behavior between two or more parties which are considered criminally and/or morally offensive. Different types of sexual abuse involve: Non-consensual, forced physical sexual behavior such as rape, incest or sexual assault, or psychological forms of abuse, such as verbal sexual behavior or...
alantm
I dont post here anymore
.i have shut the door on all this
BUT
how i feel now is still the same way
i felt at 7
at that wall
that wall is the moment i gave up
i sat there and i died
and the person i am became
as a kid i sat agianst a wall in the yard
at school and i shut down
from then i knew i was not like anyone else
and by the way everyone treated me
they knew it to
the big invisable stamp
and its still here
the day at the wall with the leafs
blowing round my feet
i have just come to realise
.is at the same time i was destroyed
by everyone around me
mother and father who were falling apart
and i would be shook and blamed
and abandond
a sister that blanked me as a person
and used me for her sex experiments
a baysiter who used me and druged me to sleap
teachers that were totaly agresive because of my problems.
i spent most of my life talking to myself
till i finaly fell to bits
and i got blamed a 2nd time for that as well
tryed walking in to trafic
became ill went for help and
the helth service destoryed me.
became a cutter for a while
some how managed to fight my way
back to being a person
but i am distant
ive only had 2 relationships in my life
one became abusive the other controling
i dont trust to easy and people are
not very nice most times
its quite screwed up really
i have tryed to mix with people face book ect
but i destroy my profiles a lot
as a way to remove myself from everyone
i did the same yesterday
ive restarted my real life in the same way
quite a few times but removing everyone i know
im getting older every year and dont know when
this feeling will ever leave me
its like i was a kid whos body was was entred
by a bad spirt.
people say im a nice person and i try to be
but i will always feel like
i was never ment to be here
or im in the wrong place
this was ment to be a simple question about
does anyone have a hard time
with datting
or do you feel marked
or i just noticed maybe who i am am what happed at the time are linked
or were just plain ment to be
becasue its who i am as a peson
i dont want to think about this to much because its a big trap to fall in to again
but right now im thinking
.i have shut the door on all this
BUT
how i feel now is still the same way
i felt at 7
at that wall
that wall is the moment i gave up
i sat there and i died
and the person i am became
as a kid i sat agianst a wall in the yard
at school and i shut down
from then i knew i was not like anyone else
and by the way everyone treated me
they knew it to
the big invisable stamp
and its still here
the day at the wall with the leafs
blowing round my feet
i have just come to realise
.is at the same time i was destroyed
by everyone around me
mother and father who were falling apart
and i would be shook and blamed
and abandond
a sister that blanked me as a person
and used me for her sex experiments
a baysiter who used me and druged me to sleap
teachers that were totaly agresive because of my problems.
i spent most of my life talking to myself
till i finaly fell to bits
and i got blamed a 2nd time for that as well
tryed walking in to trafic
became ill went for help and
the helth service destoryed me.
became a cutter for a while
some how managed to fight my way
back to being a person
but i am distant
ive only had 2 relationships in my life
one became abusive the other controling
i dont trust to easy and people are
not very nice most times
its quite screwed up really
i have tryed to mix with people face book ect
but i destroy my profiles a lot
as a way to remove myself from everyone
i did the same yesterday
ive restarted my real life in the same way
quite a few times but removing everyone i know
im getting older every year and dont know when
this feeling will ever leave me
its like i was a kid whos body was was entred
by a bad spirt.
people say im a nice person and i try to be
but i will always feel like
i was never ment to be here
or im in the wrong place
this was ment to be a simple question about
does anyone have a hard time
with datting
or do you feel marked
or i just noticed maybe who i am am what happed at the time are linked
or were just plain ment to be
becasue its who i am as a peson
i dont want to think about this to much because its a big trap to fall in to again
but right now im thinking
deleted_user
Hang on in there, I was like you and pissed off to boot. I now have reported my abuser and given a police statement. I find by using DS to get things off my chest so helpful. There are things here that I have admitted that I have not admitted to anyone else.
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