I don't know why you weren't angry but I must say that I understand that feeling. I think it's just a feeling of emptiness and a lack of connection to your true emotions. It's amazing that even when we are face to face with somethings we still aren't facing it. As a matter of fact it's easier to be angry and to be sad when you've left the situation and are now replaying it in your head. It was just a reaction. Don't read into it too much. Thanks for sharing though and know that you aren't alone! Hugs!

Usually, when you see someone that abused you and your can't find the anger you expected it is because your inner child took that anger and is hiding with it. It isn't until you start to heal that inner child that emotions truly come out. There are many people here that can tell you that they don't have any emotions as adults..they can cry or get mad etc. It is almost like that inner child stole those emotions and until you deal with him/her within and heal him/her that these emotions can come out!!

Hugs to you and I would suggest working on that inner child!! There are so many techiniques to start letting him or her feel safe enough to allow you to feel those emotions. Hugs to you a therapist can help you to get in touch with your inner child and that is truly where healing begins!!

With love!

i think i used all the anger up on myself

Hey,
dont feel bad that u cant hate the person who abused you. well that is my interpretation of what u have written anyhow. I was never able to hate my dad or my mum who didnt do enough to protect me or help me.
The past is not gone if it is still affecting you. Im still healing myself so havent figured out the best way to deal with the past but I think you have to somehow deal with the past to have closure and move on. I have had a bit of regular therapy but would like to try hypnosis or something else.
hugs to you hun

hey,
it also sucks when we turn the anger inwards hey? How sucky that some of us are unable to feel anger at our abusers and tend to self-loathe instead or perhaps feel anger at someone else. Its like we carry on the abuse doing it to ourselves. Thats how I feel personally anyhow. WE are used to being abused and we either find someone else to abuse us or do it to ourselves. I so want to break out of that habit and would love to hera from ppl who have or will share with u all when I do work out how to get out of it.
take care

i looked at hypnosis a bit
i know someone who does that
and i talked to her about what happens ,she didnt know i was quizing her.
lots of the coping things she sugested i do already
mind image things
im ok
really im just a bit confussed form time to time
i ok
and i just fall down a bit
if things get to much