You have support here too. Maybe you can start talking about what happened to you here on DS and then that will help you to talk to the next therapist.

Keep us posted on how the mindfulness class goes.

And, Heidigue, it's never too late to heal. Never.

for you to say you are 'unhealable ' is just an absolute reflection on the deplorable treatment of this therapist. the job of a therapist is to help you to get to a point where you feel good about yourself not locked into whether or not you do or don't use particular tools, not all tools suit all people, as they say in AA take what you need and leave the rest. you are not a child to be punished by this person;s withdrawal of herself if you do not do exactly as she says. my pdoc recently worked on charting the abuse and its effects down through the years and i went completely still. he then wanted to give it to him but when i told him i would fall to pieces if i so much as touched the paper he put it away until i am ready to deal with it. you know in your gut when something feels comfortable in your soul and all your inner selves so try not to be too hard on yourself and someone gentle is out there waiting for you just waiting for your call. big fat hugs to you.

Hi. That happened to me before too. It started to hurt me so bad when my therapist would ignore me. Eventually things got bad anyway and she ended up hurting me.. but before all of that I felt reliant on her. And it sucked.

I would suggest that if you do not have appropriate boundaries with her because she has never established them with you then maybe you should walk away...

Definitely feels like a huge loss just now

I didn't feel reliant all the time just when I suppose I was in my inner child pain. Was aware of it though. Was hoping that by bringing it up we could have looked at why? Think when you are sharing such personal embarrassing information and that person stands by you and doesn't seem to see you as you view yourself then it's hard not to feel a connection with them.

But you are able to analyze what happened intellectually and step out of the emotional pain she caused you.
You did not get empathy from her. That is it. The empathy with your experience in therapy.

No I've just experienced my second rejection. Heartbroken all over again. Thought we had resolved things. Was being civil agreeing to try her way. She emailed to say she did not sign up to do email support which is fair enough but she's allowed this to happen for a year yet just says this as I thought things were resolved. Why? Can't she see things from my point of view. So sad

I hope you choose to leave the sadness for her and overcome this experience by searching for a professional therapist by meaning not just by definition.

I really need her though. I don't want to have to tell any of this to anyone else. She is such a trustworthy person. The only person I've ever felt comfortable and safe with to try and talk about all this. The trust, safety, and listening meant the world to me. Although I find it hard to break through my own barriers I always knew in my heart that I could tell her anything without judgement. Yea I would feel deeply embarrassed and humiliated sometimes but never by her because of my own feelings. Feel very upset still over this and know I've made the situation worse by trying desperately to make myself understood. I just don't seem to go about things the right way sometimes but few very heartbroken by this situation.

Heidi...I don't think you will be able to convince any of us that this therapist has your best interest in mind. But no matter what we think you need to do what feels right to you. If it feels right to take a break, work on yourself and then return to this woman, then that is what you should do.

Please keep coming here and telling us how you are doing and ask for help if you need it. And when you go back to this therapist I wish you the best of luck and hope the break has strengthened your relationship.

I see from here how you became her victim. And this is how we are being victimized - Being vulnerable and insecure, sharing our deepest truth and then being blamed for someone else's choices.
You can choose though to leave this victim position by searching for another therapist you can build a healthy relationship with.