One of the things that was a hard trigger for me was a certain smell that I remember from my abuser. I have known about this trigger for a number of years now but recently I am smelling it in all sorts of places. My husband did a load of clothes the other day and the clothes were saturated in that smell. A lotion at work that I've used multiple times suddenly smelled exactly like it and despite washing my hands several times I could still smell it on my skin. Even other peoples clothes and homes, its been everywhere lately and I can't figure out if it is all in my head or what.

I've been working through some old issues related to my sexual trauma and its kind of the last frontier for me. It's the only thing that I couldn't really delve all the way into with my therapist. I would like to go back to seeing him but its been since 2007 since I have seen him in a professional setting and he recently attended my wedding so we agreed that some distance between a social setting and a therapeutic one is best.

I almost wonder if this isn't my brains way of keeping this topic on a front burner to prevent me from burying it again. It certainly doesn't have the effect it used to have when I first was confronted by this trigger but it really leaves me feeling disturbed, especially with how constant its presence has been.

Any ideas???