I feel that way at times. If I don't tell people everything I can just pretend that nothing happened and feel a little better. Sometimes other people can take your healing in the wrong direction, or make matters worse. For example, my uncle told a lot of people in the apartment complex that I live in what happened to me. Now I am scared to go outside because I don't want people looking at me.

I understand your secretiveness b/c I did it too. But one thing is for sure the more you keep everything inside of you the more destructive it will become in and thru you. Believe me I did that and became self-injurouse, had emotional, social, and psychological problems. And am still dealing with the reprecussions. What we went thru was trauma, the abuse experience was traumatic us so that we could deal with is so we coped with it the only way we knoew how, inwardly, secretly, etc. But until you face it, vent, release it in some way constructively, like thru counseling, talking, running etc, then you will continue down a destructive pass. Please don't get me wrong I know the struggle, and how its more easy to keep inside then get it out, and this is a means in protecting ourself but it will catch up with you one way or another until you come face to face with it to deal with it. I've learned the best way, not the easiest way, but is to confront the issues and work theu them, then there comes the release and freendom. Its a humongous process but its worth getting it out your system to decrease the chance of a tormenting pass. I know that it will only take when you are ready to face your pass to move on that you will seize it. But you are strong and I pray you have the courage one day to face it so you can move on.

I was locked under key for a while becauce I only knew I stay with my ex through her trauma and also keep her secret. Think the fact I had to keep it all in and had no one to talk to was what made it such an effective poison to me. However after she healed and I was free to start talking I did become an alien to my siblings. I love them and care for them. I just lost my place with them. There perspective is not from a place that they can relate with me. They try to force me back into the place I once was and fail to see I am a diffrent creature now. It does not help that I was the youngest so they will always see me as the baby of the family. I just out grew them on this plane. There is a truth that a prophit has no honor in his home town. Not that I am preaching but they will always see the little boy they once knew and never let him be the man he grew into.

I think it is ok to keep them out of this. However I know you must not bottle it up and let it feaster. There is wisdom to letting selevtive people and purging out your pain for others to walk with you. You seem to be on that path so I am not worried. Just feel no guilt for listening to your gut. It is telling you not to share this with them then listen to it. There most likly will be a time but it seems clear to me now is not the time to bring in the family. Hope my angles helped!

Hi,
I kept the full extent of my abuse a secret from my family for about 10 years. I did a good job of keeping it a secret but it was such a burden doing so. I kept thinking if my family knew the truth they would hate me and disown me. Finally I took the risk of telling them. It was hard to work up the courage but I did it. When I told them it was the biggest weight lifted off me. Fortunately they all reacted really well and were supportive. My older sister was pretty distressed and took a while for her to come to terms with.
I guess its up to you if you ever want to tell your family.
I understand why you dont want to tell but I also know hwo alone you can feel when you keep such a big thing a secret. Im such an open, honest person that it was so hard to keep it secret. Other ppl seem to be better at pretending and putting on a false front so I suppose that can deal with it better.
As to telling ppl outside the family I had bad experiences with my exs and so I feel that I wont be able to trust anyone again. I dont think we should have to tell anyone and people should respect that.