I am very sorry this happened to you. I also had it happen three times. By an adult neighbor from 8-12, by a neighborhood boy at 13-14 and once when I was 24. Sadly, for most people who are abused it does happen multiple times in their lives. I wish I could understand why.

Does it get better? Yes it does. But it takes a lot of hard work to get through it all. It would also be very beneficial if you worked with a therapist who specializes in sexual abuse. A good therapist will help you process all the feelings you have and will validate your feelings. Both are very important in the healing process.

You can heal ad you deserve to heal. If you are unable to work with a therapist right now then please keep sharing with us here. There are lots of caring understanding people here and we all want to see each other heal.

Take care

marthafdz,

It does get better but not by itself. It requires hard work that involves seeing a therapist, educating yourself on the impact of abuse, creating a support system for yourself...etc.

Are you able to see a therapist? Have you been educating yourself about sexual abuse--one of the best books I've found is called, The Courage to Heal by Ellen Bass and Laura Davis.

As for support groups I don't know what's available in MX. I went to 12-step groups, one for incest survivors and one for adult children of alcoholics.

Face to face is best, but if there are no groups in MX then look for groups on line.

It won't stop on its own and you won't forget--though with work you are impacted less and less by the memories--and yes, it does get better but not without doing the work that's required to heal.

And you CAN heal.

xx
SuzA

It also wasn't that long ago. I know that I was ready for the feeling to stop and go away, but it was still so fresh. My last experience was 2 years ago. It has gotten a lot better, I'm still working on trying to have a normal relationship and that's hard. I do hang with friends without being terrifed now. But I still don't make new friends easily. Guilt is a HUGE part at first. Just try to keep reminding yourself, it wasn't something you chose, or asked for. I hated feeling guilty. I knew I didn't ask for anything and there was nothing I could have done to avoided it. I was with friends and was drugged by one. Don't give up, It does get better. Its one of those time walks though, unfortunately. I wish you all the best of luck and if nothing else, know that you are not alone.

Thanks everyone.

I started to go to therapy, and well, she tells me it will take time. It's just I feel so hopeless. Guilt and shame are really killing me on the inside. The other two times I was abused, idk I could supressed the feeling, but right now, it feels too much. Everything went downhill from here.

But I'll do my best, and work hard for it. Right now the only thing I ask for is that the nightmares disappear, and I can sleep a little bit.

Thanks again! If I can do anything for any of you, I'm here!

I know how you feel and I have been abuses literally all my life by many many people. I repressed my abuse and kept I was abused as an adult. As a teen I did not have support. I would try to get help and tell people. They were apart of my abuse, I did not know it. they made me forget it also. I had not one person that could help me. I learned that Jesus Loved me at the age of 7 and I sang the song constantly and I accepted him as my Saviour at age 10 . The abuse kept going and everything else. I am in my late 30's and now healing. I started remembering a year now. It was a hard year and I still have a long way to go. I have gone to Christian counseling and have a wonderful family. I grew up thinking I was a boring person and just thinking I was a bad person. If people only knew the real me they would hate me. Even when I got married I felt this way . Untill I remembered was I truly free to know It wasn't me. It is what they made me believe. I keep reminding myself God loves me and what he thinks of me. It takes time, it does get better . I am here and I survived. Hang in there and Lots of prayers Hugs and Support!

I am 57. I was publicly raped for adult entertainment by a paid prostitute this month 1974. I was 17.
I have had thousands taken from me and my insurance carrier through the years by worthless dog ass social workers who find further entertainment debasing me.

To answer your question in a single word: No.

Even though you will be able to find support as a female, it never actually gets better.
Instead, get a carry permit and focus on minimizing further damage.
Tom S. in Tn.

Tom, I'm sorry for your bad experiences and long-standing pain. But I want to tell Martha that for many people, it does get better. Many people have shared here that it has gotten better for them and continues to get better for them. Many people have had bad experiences with mental health professionals, but many more people have been immensely helped by them. Knowing that the possibility for abuse exists, it is good to be very wary and careful and don't let your guard down too quickly. But neither would it serve you to give up when the possibility for help and healing is very real.

#7;
The next comment I get is how the worlds problems must all be my own fault also. Sound familiar?

Realistically, our souls have been violated because we were used as sacrifice by bastard pagans who continue to violate us with debasing claims, minimizing the truth, and laying blame and burden of proof on innocent vulnerable and defenseless victims.

I've got 57 years of a human life with my first recollections being that of what is defined as sexual molestation of a child.
I like the others who were molested and raped as kids, had our innocence, dignity, and human respect not only force ably stolen, but denied human dignity throughout life as adults if we ever declare so.

The answer remains NO because it's gone and no one is going to allow any of it to be returned. Victims can never be members of the pagan culture that rapes it's defenseless unless they believe everything the predators tell them and play along with their continued use and abuse.

When the culture becomes so perverse it uses what they call their basic fundamental and declared god given rights to carry out their perversion, it forces everyone to use those same rights for basic safety.
Sadly, a carry permit to minimize further damage is about the only realistic advice left.
Only the truth from some one who has sacrificed much during their life chasing unrealistic advice of the predators who raped me in the beginning.
Had enough. Given more than my share of enough.
Time to halt any further damage.
Tom S. In Tn.

#8

You can only speak for yourself.

And I can only speak for myself. And for me, it did get better in spite of long-term sexual abuse that began in the crib, multiple predators--men and women--and raped when I was 40.

It is possible to heal unless the survivor is unwilling to release the bitterness.

The work is hard, but healing can happen.

SuzA

SuzA

#8 ;

First welcome, yet sorry you had to find us but glad you did.
I must say I felt like the previous poster for many years, yet I got tired of my anger and rage and worked hard to get at the underlying pain.
I've seen many men and women work through their pain and come out feeling better and whole again. Yes the memories will always remain, but with hard work those memories can have their "fangs" dulled and for me they are just sad memories that no longer tear me to pieces.
I lived through hell for over a decade and here to say THERE IS light at the end of the road. We just have to be determined enough to find it! Found it I have.
YOU CAN get through this! My Best to YOU, Blaine! :)

Looks like the psychs here can't handle truth even if I start a post of my own.
Keep cutting me off if that's what you need to keep your ego alive.

#12

Whose "truth" are you referring to?

SuzA

So sorry for your pain. I do believe that with a good therapist, some good friends and belief in yourself you can heal. The memories will always be there, and some things can never be given back, but it is possible to move past the damaging thinking to a healthier approach and learn to love and live again.

I am 52 and am just starting to face my childhood abuse, not just sexual. What has made me face my past though is the abuse our daughters disclosed last year. Having to walk this painful journey with them is giving me the courage to face what happened to me. I am fortunate to have a wonderful counsellor. Journalling really helps me to process my thoughts and emotions and it is a less threatening way for me to disclose things to my counsellor.

All the best in your healing journey. You will come out a stronger person for it.

#14;
But what do you do if you are older and male, and this perfect world of therapist support are in this because they were abused also and their only knowledge and motivation comes from being trained that MALES are sexual predators and females are victims ?

What them??
40 years is a long god damn time..........
use the ignore feature if you can't answer; Tom S. in Tn.