yes,you could. I have forgiven my mom(not so sure I have everyone else)because I have "seen" that lost, hurting little 18mth old in her eyes, just once. It was heart-wrenching to me because she had no one to turn to either.She was raised in a boarding school where she was abused physically, emotionally and sexually from 18 mths to 19 yrs old when she left.I didn't become that.I chose to face my pain and stop the cycle of abuse.We all have a choice.I chose healing which includes forgiving. That offender dosen't give any energy to those he's abused but if you continue to harbor bitterness at them you're wasting your energy on them when it could be better spent healing for your sake and those you love and/or live with.

i dont think what happens to a person as a child should be used to what they do as an adult, it is their own choice rather to grow up and stay away from the cycle of abuse, or to contine and be ignorant

but about forgiving your abuser, i have, but he wasnt molested as a child, that i am aware of..

I think this is a personal choice. I agree with the majority in that we were abused and we have not become abusers. I believe that they use that to make themselves feel better and to make a 'reason' for what they did. It is unexcusable to violate children regardless as to wether you were violated as a child or not. I find it pathetic that anyone could think that that is a good enough excuse. Why would you wan to inflict it on someone elese when you have been through it yourself? Of all things wouldn't it be more apropriate fo rthem to want to help the abused rather than create more abused? I just dont understand how it can be a good reason...

yes we are called to forgive so we can be forgiven. that is just the way it works whether we like or not. so we might as well forgive. it is the only way to our own healing and rising above it. as nightmarishly difficult as it is we are all in the same boat when it comes forgiveness. It rains upon the good as well as the evil on earth because God loves all anyway. no matter what. the rest is up to us to be bigger people than our abusers. brenda

I do not think that i can forgive my abusers one an uncle the other my father. What has made this especially difficult is the lack of family support, my mother brother and sister will not support me in any way. I am lucky that i have a very supportive husband and 3 supportive teenage children who are making sure that i get the support that i require during this difficult time. As time goes on i get angry at them an do not think that i could forgive them for what they have done to me

I added a reply to the discussion on what forgiveness means, but I wanted to say it both places because my reply speaks to both. in brief, I want to say that I say yes that makes sense to all replies, and I thank you, who spoke about forgiviness not being a constant, that has really helped me as I re read and re read, and more specifically it is on the other reply under what forgiveness means. Thank you to all. this really helps.

Having been sexually abused has really messed up my life. Through therapy and reading books I have learned so much about why I am the way I am and the majority of my problems stem from the abuse. Forgiveness they say helps heal the victim. It helps one let go. I don't know if I am ready for that step or if I ever will be. The abuse caused me to have troubled relationships, low self esteem, problems at work at home and on and on. It has cost me a lot of money also. I can't turn back the clock and get all of what I lost back, especially my virginity. So how do I forgive for all that was lost?

I did, the anger and bad feeling were taking up to much of MY LIFE, so I changed it, I choose to forgive, and it was good for me. My abuser was a family member and very much in my life, it took me many years and it took lots of strenghtand courage, but I'm glad I did it

dont you want forgiveness?

dont you want and deserve forgiveness for your sins?

for me Yes. i forgave my abuser for trying to get his needs met. He does not know I forgave him. It was for me because hating him was eating me up inside. i had a ceromoney where I wrote him a letter about how I knew he was human and then I burned it asking the universe to take the thoughts of hatred away from me. it sounds corney however for me it did work. The hate was killing me not the person I was hating.

do you not abuse yourself a little daily by carrying around this hate? i did. I ate too much controlled people too much. It all looked normal however inside I was dying while denying that fact to myself. I do not abuse children either because I was abused. but I needed to forgive my self for not being strong enough to fight them off and for allowing it to run my life for too many years.