Sexless Marriage Community Group

This group is for those people who find themselves married to a partner who has little or no interest in having a sexual relationship. This can be very painful for the other partner and leave them feeling rejected, unloved and unwanted. This is a group to provide support for this very painful and very private issue.

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Relationships & Sexuality
/ Sexless Marriage Support Group

Is it me?

Meta
Meta

Hi, this is my first post here. I'm happy to find others in my situation. In a nutshell, this is my story: 


I've been with my husband for 8 years now. We barely ever have sex, and when we do, I ALWAYS initiate it, and he doesn't always get off. We had a two week long honeymoon and didn't even have sex once. It only happens maybe three or four times a year. For a while I thought maybe he was gay, but then I caught him masturbating to pictures of women on the internet, so it's not that. I thought maybe he was asexual or something, but he masturbates on a regular basis. He's only 33, and this has been an issue from the beginning. I begged him for two solid years to get an Rx of Viagra, thinking that may solve the problem. After two years of begging, I finally made him do it as a birthday present for me. We had sex that day; that was in September and was the only time he took one. A few nights ago I wanted to see if he was using them without me, and the Rx was gone. He sold them saying he "didn't need them". I don't know what else to think; is it me? I am so incredibly depressed, I have tried everything to turn him on, but nothing. This is killing my self esteem. Does anyone have any advice?

Rob_base50
Rob_base50
Reading your post and the replies...it's tough. Glad I found this so I know at least it's not just me. Best of luck and although I can't see the small picture well, you seem to be an attractive person on the inside and out. I hope that he will mature and get help, because he really is fortunate to have you.
Msteele4555
Msteele4555
If you want a sane, happy life, get out. Get out now.
Please allow me to help you just a bit. You will get treated the way you allow people to treat you. This is not about him, it is about you.

Go home, pack your things and get out. No more discussion. No more delays. He may or may not change, but you cannot change him. It has to be something he wants to do. Get out.
pietro84
pietro84
You doing ok, Meta?
Meta
Meta
I am, thank you. I want to thank everyone here for their advice and support. I have decided to leave my husband. I have tried everything I can think of, and he still refuses to see there is a problem. During our last fight he said our sex life is "great" and if I am not happy it's because I suffer from depression and it has nothing to do with him. At the end of the day, I have been the only one working to save this marriage, and i won't keep living like this. I don't want to be here again in another ten or fifteen years thinking the same and feeling the same. I am concerned about how much damage he has done to my self esteem, but I realize the longer I stay, the worse it will become, and I'm ready to start healing. Thank you everyone!
pietro84
pietro84
So he attempted to deflect everything back at you and make it "your problem."

Not cool.

You have courage, wisdom, and heart - just like in Oz.

You have already started healing! Your future is brightening up.
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