Seperation and Divorce Community Group
Anyone who wants to talk about how they are feeling in regards to getting separated and those who are divorced
Recently found out my wife cheated on me. Long story short she failed school/her friends all left and moved out of state/she feels like a failure and depends on me financially and is upset that she has to depend on me to get through in life. I tried to be as supportive as I could but according to her it was not enough. We have 3 kids together all healthy and have a home. Recently she has gone through changes (smoking/drinking more/ hanging out with new friends who I personally felt were bad influences). She admits to be she is no longer happily married and has not been for some time. I work 2 jobs to financially support as much I could so it was hard being home or taking days off. I discovered she had a one night stand and she has not been apologetic about it . Nor is she interested in saving this marriage as she feels she no longer wants to answer to me or doesn't feel the need to communicate with me about her whereabouts. I disagreed with her in that marriage takes work/commitment and honesty. I never cheated on her and she knows that. Have been a good father to my 3 kids to the best to my abilities and she knows that. I sometimes blame myself for not being more attentive to her and her emotions. I wish I could go back and change certain things but I can't. I was willing to change to be more attentive but through the 15 years being married she states she is no longer in love with me and that she is the fucked up person. The emotional pain that I feel is heart broken and hatred at the same time. I lost over 20 pounds and cannot function at work. I need help to get me through this. She wants me out of the house and I did nothing wrong - why do I feel so guilty ?
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Ever since I stopped doing therapy because of insurance, I've been feeling that old tense and irritable sense of anxiety and stress. I hate that. I was making so many strides and changes during therapy, my therapist would acknowledge all of my progress and accomplishments, and I miss that reassurance. Today I thought about it, and I made those changes! She would always tell me that I chose to...
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I'm horrified! I knew my insurance would go up due to getting a new car but I didn't expect it to go up over $2,000. I did have an accident with the snow/ice in the winter. I was just telling my brother that I have had my car since March 2, 2026 and have only spent $75 on an oil change. Now this! I called another insurance company and their quote was over $4,000. I guess I have to pay...
DON'T move out of the house! If you leave, it will look to the courts that you abandoned the household, and then you would definitely lose your house to her.
What you need, and right away, is a divorce attorney. Start looking for one and call them tomorrow. They give free consultations by phone. You need to see what you are up against because courts usually favor the mother.
You did nothing wrong. Sounds like you are a good husband and father. She is the one that is messed up. Nothing you could have done or said to prevent her from doing all of these things. It's like she is regressing to her younger days or something, by the way she is acting. Immature and reckless. She does not sound right in the head.
Ask her if she would go to marriage counseling. Tell her it's for the kids' sake, if you have to. If she won't go, then you go to a therapist by yourself. You need counseling, so go by yourself if she won't go together.
Get your family and friends involved. You'll need support. You are not the bad guy. Tell your family and friends everything that she is doing. She is in the wrong. Gather up your support people.
It's going to be tough right now, but things will get better. Call that attorney!
There is another board on here that has more members, try this one, too -
https://www.dailystrength.org/group/breakups-divorce