Stableone
You dont sound angry to me.You just seem to know what you are want out of life.No one has to settle because life is full of choices.
Iam with you all the way in how you feel,I am a senior.I got married young at 20 and Iam now 65 so 45 years of my life I have not known single life.
I was married 3 times during those 45 years.Two of my husbands died and I went through a lot of adjustments and grief with their deaths.
I became a widow a year ago.My spouse was unfaithful time after time for 20 years.He burnt me so bad that it has almost turned me completely against trusting men anymore.
Iam very lonely and would just like some communication with a man friend sometimes, as well as my lady friends.
Yesterday I was eating alone and a senior male working at the place came up an ask me if I needed anything like they always do.I smiled and said if you could get me someone to have dinner with things would be just fine.I said that as a funny jesture.
He jumped on it,said oh your single I said widowed.Right away he began his move saying alot of things that bored me.He said he would like to take me out to dinner,and asked me for my phone number.I was totaly turned off.I just wanted go to the safty of my home and stay there.Like you Iam not looking for what men are want.I dont need that anymore.Yet I would like interaction with men on a non binding non committed no sex bases.I do not know where if ever I will fill that empty gap.If it never happens thats okay Iam fine where Iam.But its lonely on this end of my life.
Doodlebug

Stableone
You dont sound angry to me.You just seem to know what you are want out of life.No one has to settle because life is full of choices.
Iam with you all the way in how you feel,I am a senior.I got married young at 20 and Iam now 65 so 45 years of my life I have not known single life.
I was married 3 times during those 45 years.Two of my husbands died and I went through a lot of adjustments and grief with their deaths.
I became a widow a year ago.My spouse was unfaithful time after time for 20 years.He burnt me so bad that it has almost turned me completely against trusting men anymore.
Iam very lonely and would just like some communication with a man friend sometimes, as well as my lady friends.
Yesterday I was eating alone and a senior male working at the place came up an ask me if I needed anything like they always do.I smiled and said if you could get me someone to have dinner with things would be just fine.I said that as a funny jesture.
He jumped on it,said oh your single I said widowed.Right away he began his move saying alot of things that bored me.He said he would like to take me out to dinner,and asked me for my phone number.I was totaly turned off.I just wanted go to the safty of my home and stay there.Like you Iam not looking for what men are want.I dont need that anymore.Yet I would like interaction with men on a non binding non committed no sex bases.I do not know where if ever I will fill that empty gap.If it never happens thats okay Iam fine where Iam.But its lonely on this end of my life.
Doodlebug

I wouldn't say, that I've given up on men--But what I'm finding out is, that men who are seniors, are looking for someone to take care of them--or they think they still have that sex drive they once had, and are looking to test that out.
Me, I'm basically looking for an intelligent, would like to see a movie, or go out to eat, but trying to live together, well, usually at this stage in life, we're pretty well defined and are not about to do any changing to please anyone--I mean we've done that most of our lives. No, a nice movie, a quiet dinner, walk in the park---maybe share a kiss or two, then good-night sweetheart, well it's time to go.
smile, God loves us all!

I guess I could do without the sex (I did for the last three years of my marriage!) but I really want that since of intimacy with another person! I am jumping back into the dating scene as soon as I can--not because I'm desperate but because I don't feel I have any time to waste. I do want to find love again and I might as well get at it!

im looking for a good man thats wants everything that goes with being together. but dont want to have sex till get to know someone.ive been single for five and half years dated but no keepers did let one move in. he was a friend of my hubbys .got kicked out when he was drunk and said there wasnt anything wron with me. i had spent 16 days in hosp and had four surgeries in six weeks.. believe me hegot his walking papers i said things to him i had never said before.i chalk that up to tempory insanty.but looking for keeper.

When I first got divorced, I thought God would give me a great Christian husband to make up for the years I had with my ex ... didn't happen. Was disappointed for a long time about that but now am glad.
I like living alone and would only want a husband now who is cute & cuddly-type (not that I'm a cuddler in the sense that I like that much physical closeness), funny, warm, loves kids (this is a deal breaker if he didn't) and just plain fun to be around ... and would have to understand if I wanted separate bedrooms for sleeping. Sex? I had more than my share and learned lots more than I should know but certainly would want it again with the right person. This time I would definately wait for marriage, though. Too many promises not fulfilled in the past.
Good guys, intelligent guys, funny guys, committment guys ... hard to find at our age. The ones I really like talking with are all still married. The ones I find who are single want another notch on their belts or their fantasy woman.
My crafts & hobbies & family & church take a lot of my time but there's still room for someone to go out with, see movies & discuss them, try out new restaurants, walk along the beach at night (sun burns me terribly!) or in the mornings.
If I stay single, I will be abstinate now. Too many scary things out there not to be and it took up too much of my thinking & my time when I wasn't ... not to mention always being concerned my grandkids would find out. I love my grandkids and don't want to be a 'do as I say and not as I do' Grammie.

We as women are much stronger then men. Y? Becasue we know what it is we don't want. Men I feel have something to prove. NOt to us but to themselves. Be hot....be verial,,,,even if they are not!!!!!!but yet they think they are....They are out to prove something to themselves. And we are the pon in there game. But guess what gals we are on to their program......Sorry guys no can do.......I am me except me for my brains and personality and if you allow us to discover what it is we are about then MAYBE we can grow to be confortable with what could be.
I ask do men read these things and if they do do you feel they learn? NO would be my thoughts. Men are animals always trying to prove there man hood regadless if it is there or not. They want a SHORT experiance for their there own needs thank you it was great. For who I ask? And we as women feel we have to pretend to be satisified. Y? to build up their egos. Sorry been there done that and I want no reruns. Men are wanting nothing more then to feel good for the moment... And usually that is all it is. Or you have to work your ass off to make them feel like a man and by that time you have lost interest. Just do it and let's move on and usually that is sleep////////////I have come to the terms that I will not allow a man to use me for thier own personal blow up doll. Sorry. is that to harsh? If so I guess I'm being to critical. I love the warmth of being with a man for sure. And I give all that they need. But I'm getting to the point of no return. I like sex. and want what is good for me. And that comes with youth. Which I have had....but yet I want more then the youth can deliver other then the sex. Future, same interests....and freedom............Is it not possible to find a man that can give it all. A man in his late 50 early 60 that can offer us what it is we want and NEED???????????? We offer all they want looks, safistiation...brains,,,,and charm. Having them to be prud to be seen with us....Money is a good thing but there is more..HOw I ask do we find that? We women are so strong and determined to get what it is we want. We are a special breed. If men would just realize that. We will not be controlled becasue of money, position or what ever. We want the whole package. Can we find that? I guess that is Y we are here. longing to find an older man with it all. Especially a heart and ability to please. We women at this age are still young in mind, body and spirit..Y I ask can we not find that in a man? 60 to me is a rebirth for us gals. But men seem to fade away and pretend to be all that they were. NOt what they are. They are always trying to prove to themsleves that they are youthfull and I'm sure they not only dissasppoint their partnes but themselves. HOw sad is that. So that is why the "COUGER" phrase has been brought into this sineral we are looking they are witthered............SO I ask is it possible to acheive all? I'm beginning to think not.......I want love and warmth be it from a 50 to 60 man but we woman at this age arae wnating life, sex, and all taht goes with it. Sorry guys if it an't wotking at full tilt then son't pretned. Y? because it is not a program that we want.As for me I want the whole 9 yards freedome, young at heart and body...Is that possible? Thus far NO would be that answer. I have been reborn and what all that I had SEX to me is a big part of a warm loving relationship.
so there you have it.. But sex is not he whole issue here don't get me wrong. There are many that have the SEX but nothing else. For them I guess that is ok but I want and deserve the whole package.
Tks for the outlet... I am me and these are my thoughts. Judge me ..so be it... but I I find men at this agae trying soooooooooooo hard to prove their manhood for themselves. CRASE yes but true.

I think there are a lot of men our age who still need the visual stimulation instead of an emotional or intellectual one so they seek youth & beauty and not maturity. Men look right past me and never think we could have stimulating conversations or that I might just know some secrets that our younger counterparts don't. It's their loss. If what they need is a slim body and a pretty face (or like my brother used to say ... you can always put a bag over their face) then they're definately not the man for me. I want someone who understand the outside package is not all there is. There's a lot to be said for knowledge and experience and the wisdom gained from the years. Those men might be out there but I haven't found any yet.
Oh ... except for the married ones who got their 'Barbies' and found them wanting. Now they understand! But I'm not willing to be a plaything anymore. I'll go it alone rather than live an empty life with someone who's only with me for sex.

Hello all...well where are the men? Mostly my life a.d. (after divorce) has been w/younger men. Men my own age usually have wanted younger woman w/longer legs. Of course I was one of those once....now I am rubenesque, humorous, creative, opinionate...still sexy tho. I have been celibate for about 3 years due to ptsd.etc. Now it is spring and I am wanting to explore...
For me I never could discern whether I was in love or lust. Being celibate I was neither. Not as much fun tho for me.
Although I didn't even notice.

I wonder how many men would actually believe they need support? I've been with older and younger men and prefer younger ones for conversations by far. I've chosen to be celibate now for various reasons. All my curiosities have been met and there were lots of mistakes and lots of things I regret doing.
As to the men joining and talking with us ... in every group I've ever been in, women far outnumber the men ... unless it's all about sex. LOL

got married at 16 was married for 44 years hadnt ever been with another guy but my hubby . when i started dating it was unreal.how much things have changed.was really thinking about wanting a full time realshop. but i can barly take care of myself. met this guy takes me to his house we go out to eat and we spend about four hrs having fun.he means to please.so ive decided that is pretty good deal . he is sixty.well this embarrising im going to say this . i never really thought about size of penis didnt have no idea what was normal . but compared to his his is very little .seen one a lot bigger but he was drinking so never got any of that.one of my x boyfriends friends ask is it true what they say about him i said it sure as hell is.

Haven't been back to this community in awhile but it looks as though you really haven't fallen through the cracks stableone. Lots of feedback. All I remember from when I was a teenager is old adage that : a woman will fake sexual satisfaction to get love and a man will fake love to get sexual satisfaction. Now I'm wondering if that is still true because I won't fake anything and won't hang out with a fake. I was also brought up in the in-between time of two conflicting thoughts "get married, have a family and live happily ever after" versus "I am woman hear me roar". In other words be Dependent / Independent and so that's exactly what I am today. I am dependent upon my oodles of friends both male and female for all my socializing and am independent financially, in my interests and hobbies and in learning new things every day. I don't NEED a man. I don't WANT a man. I want what someone above said "fun, cheerful, cuddy but not to the extreme etc" to date in a casual manner. I too have made some mistakes along the way which is all to the good because I learn what I don't want and have a right to say up front. Being abstinate was painful and caused me anger, bitterness and self-pity but it got easier to bear as time when on. I am willing to wait until the sexual component is right for me mentally and emotionally as I never want to hate myself again for not being "To Thine Ownself Be True". When I was on anti-depressants lack of sexual interest was a side effect but progressively newer meds made for "less" of those side effects and again I had to deal with those feelings. It's been a long time since you posted this discussion and I hope you're in a happier place now. Blessings

Good Morning Nice to hear from you:

I could not agree with you more.I have come a long way since getting out there in this vast world of loosers. I found as I was starting out that I was searching for something or someone to fill the void in my life. WRONG!!!!I gave of myself in all ways But, as the time has past I realize I have it all... I can go and have great times with men and be in control of what I give or not give. And you know I feel so much better about myself because I have discoverd that. I have not had SEX now for several months....shit it's almost a year.. but you know what I'm still alive and well and I'm having a good time in the process. Go figure eh? And I can look in the mirror and say I'm proud of you. And you know what I'm finding out? Not all men are cut from the same bolt of cloth..There are good men out there. They appreicate the fact they do not have to perform or try to prove themselves. They too just want the company of a LADY. I'm am finding out that I have a lot more to offer then just my body...And as time goes by the comfort zone is so great no pressure on either of us...So what have I gained FRIENDS.... Oh we have the odd kiss and hug but just as friends. which is great..And if they give me any idea that they want friends with benifits.. I just remind them that they are dating a LADY. So they either except that or run for them their HILLS. It feels so good to have the upper hand. Now don't get me wrong here I like sex as much as the next person....but I have found over time it is on my terms..Not just because I'm trying to prove something to them or myself. I think a man will try to test the waters...That is normal.. but when they realize your not there I think they appreciatae the fact and realize that your not out there for all that you date. So if in fact it does happen. It makes them and you feel so special.. And we all want that feeling right? It has taken me time to come to this realization. And I'm so glad I have...But as I have said before "A mistake is not a mistake if you learn from it" Which I have big time.
So here I sit chatting with you all. Spilling my guts...Which I thank you all for. It is so nice to be able to open up and not be judged, and realize that I'm not the only one out there that has made mistakes and understands. We all need to vent from time to time and what better way.
I am a happy camper now..I date and enjoy the company of men without having that feeling of having to perform at the end of the night.... I am in control what a great feeling. and in the course of all the dates I find someone that I feel I want to have more in my life then and only then will I move it to the next level. Not for lust but for love.If that does not happen then so be it....I will not sell myself short ever again.
Tks agian for the chat. I send Hugs your way from Canada. Stay happy and think positive thoughs. Our minds contol our bodys not the other way around.

Great Granny, you are so funny! It'd fun to hang out with you, I'm sure.
This next part is just for us girls! I've had way too much experience not to share some of it ... size matters? Not to me but to others, here's a clue. Believe it of not, tall men are not bigger and small men are not smaller. I've been with a few of both and found the short guys had bigger and the tall guys had smaller! Maybe its God's way of compensating? Fat guys seem smaller than they really are and will get bigger as they lose the weight. Known a few of those, too. tee hee hee!

Patty...how right you are....it seems women don't put as much value ....or should I say emphasis on sex as men do....and especially at our age. I mean just look at viagra and all the other "erectile' drugs on the market today. I doubt seriously that a woman invented them....lol. I just broke up with my girlfriend of 3 years over our sex life or lack thereof. At least I think we are broken up...she won't return e-mails or answer her phone...is that a sign????