Here's my most recent one:

< You've only slipped up 5 times in 7 months- how are you still wanting me?
> How should I know? I can't control it? Can I?
< You could if you'd stop thinking about it so much
> Like that'll ever happen.
< Maybe it will.
> I'm doubting it- all I can see happening is the weather changing, it getting colder, a reason to wear long sleeves, and being able to hide my secret once again.

For this reason I'm able to keep from cutting now but i'm worried about the fall.

recent of mine like sasha may trigger

>Your pathetic no life no future fresh ones on your wrists your nearly 20 grow up.
>i feel nothing all i want is to see the blood to know im here and maybe then nothing else will matter.
>no wonder your nothing your weak > i know i long to die.

I think it's not silly at all dude ^^

-I can't deal with all this shit I'm such a fucking pussy...what's even the point I need drugs or cuts or something
*no you don't! people will be upset with youuu
>that's okay you can do whatever you want! it's YOUR life remember?
-I don't knowwww....
*YOU DONT NEED IT you don't need anything it's all in your head!! that stuff only makes you more unhappy!
>your always unhappy so what's the point of being more miserable just give in it'll make things less complicated
-I DON'T KNOW I DON'T KNOW I DON'T KNOW GO AWAY

Oh, I talk to myself alll the time ^_^"
My most recent convo with myself about cutting went something like:

>Oh shit, for real? Today?
But it's been so long!
Long enough to be long.
Well.... Yeah but....
It would.
No, shut the hell up!

And then I left the room so I could be around my family so I couldn't talk to myself about it anymore.

yea this should definetly be trigger marked

So ******Trigger******

It has tons of variations but lately is about like this.

>I feel good, I'm fine but I don't need to think about this
~but it's oh so clear, the scars are gone, you know you want too
>I'm not looking, I'm okay, go away
~but the blades are there so esay to find, it's only take a second. you know how good it'll make you feel.
>I'm fine, I don't need to do this
~yea, you do cause you can't really manage with out it, sure for awhile you can but what the stress that builds up, you can't throw it out for ever. So why not? It won't hurt you.
>Yes, it will. but Aw, it's good but it's not enough and one cut turn into 3 and so forth.
by this point I'm usually staring at the blades, sometimes I can walk away other times I can't. Writing it out seems kinda a pointless now, I don't know.

Here is mine:

- I want to feel relief. I feel so sad. Im in total pain.
- Get out of bed. U know where you hid it. One scratch or two

- Im trying to ignore you. My husband doesnt know this part of me. I cant let him know.
-Only I know you . All of your shadows. No hiding from me. I'm there to comfort you. Warm hug. cut, scratch get it out .

-Im ignoring you.


So far Ive ignored it but today its really bad. Im a total fake. I smile and laugh no one really knows the pain im hiding.

wait....secret conversation....it doesn't only have to be while you're struggling with SI does it??....That's why you called it silly....

I always talk to myself about everything and anything....but a simple one I can think of is somewhat more like an imaginary friend....heh...this is embarrassing but...here goes:

>> I am always alone...nobody ever hears me
< I hear you....I'm always listening...but you've blocked me out...I used to help....let me again...
>> No, I don't want to live with just my mind.....I want someone I can see
< not even for while they don't notice you....I just want to be there...so you are not alone..
>> you were all I ever had.....why is it....I'm left to comfort myself

I just had one with who I call The Bitch


Triggerrr

>Stop shaking your damn leg
>I can't help it, I'm anxious as fuck
>Well get the damn blade then
>But I just did it earlier
>That shit? That was weak. Stop being such a pussy.

Once I think I'm weak is when I fall. I like being tough enough to take a blade, well that's what I tell myself anyways...

> why did he leave me? why did he lied to me? where has i done wrong?
< he didn't love you, that's the case
> no! i don't believe you, I know he loved me!
< stop lying to yourself..
> i need him...
< let's move on, i'm with you
> i can't.. i need him...
< whatever... i'm with you even if u decided to live in this hell..

Here is mine:

~ Why did you ever start this any normal person would have done something more sensible
^ How should I know before I started it I didn't even know what it was
~ This is so stupid
^ But I can't stop it even though it hurts

-Life is growing hellish again, you need me.
> It was hellish before you and it will be after. I dont need the pain and I dont want it anymore.
-How will you even function? Look, youre pathetic. You'll fail without me. You need me to relieve your stress.
> I DONT NEED YOU! Im not as pathetic as I would be if I went back to you.
-Come on! COME ON! COME ON! They'll never know. You can hide the cuts, you have before.
>fine...maybe a few. It's just one more time. right? just one more time.
-Good choice.
>NO NO NO NO...It's never one more time. I cant do it. They may not notice but they think Im getting better. I need it to be true. I DONT NEED YOU IM SERIOUS!
-You'll fail and retreat back to me you always so what's the difference about today?
>The difference is that Im actually trying. I want to get better this time. More than anything.
-You'll never rid yourself of me.
>LALALALALALALA. I cant hear you. Now shut up and leave me be.


Thee end. hehe. I win. =] ...And to think a year ago I couldve never done that. yay.

-you wanna?
-not really, actually.
-but...remember? how good it feels? how pretty it is? don't you want that?
-yeah....i kinda do. i miss it. i miss when the world was ending everyday.
-you're getting boring. this made you less boring. this gave you a secret, made you special.
-but i can't, not anymore. im getting better. i have to. i have to think about the future. it's too important to me, more important than the darkness i love.
-pssh, whatever. call me when you're done sucking all the fun out of everything.

I talk to myself all the time. I do it to make a decision about something difficult; becuz i'm bored (that's sad isn't it?); Becuz I feel like shit and there is no one I can talk to at that moment.
Jeez it's rlly hard to come up with a good one about SI bucuz I don't really hav a con... well here we go

*I feel so bad
-Hmm, I know
*I think I'm gonna cut
-Yeah, it'd be good; you'll stop thinking about all the misery
*Yeah. But what's the use?
-What do you mean?
*I don't feel the pain anymore after like a minute or something. It's like I'm not a real cutter.
-Why doesn't it hurt? I don't understand what you do wrong.
*I think every time I cut I'm still a little scared of it; like I'll hurt myself. But I want to hurt myself. Would this be normal for some one who has just started? Or am I really a fake?

Damn that rlly bothers me. Gonna start a topic on this one to ask you're opinion.

Here's something else that's stupid; when I talk to myself I do it in English. I don't really know why accept that I like English more than Dutch, but then again some things I just can't say in English becuz I don't know how to.

For ppl who want to help; I started a topic right here http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Self-Injury/advice/7884744-normal-if-youre

i just love those conversation when we win the debate!

> isn't today a shiny day? i have a feeling that everything will be okay today..
< the last time you said this, it actually turn into a hell day
> hehe.. really? i really think today will be okay though
< let's see then..

and it's today, everything is not bad so far!

> told you!
< today is not over yet..