Schizophrenia Support Group

Schizophrenia is a psychiatric diagnosis that describes a mental disorder characterized by impairments in the perception of reality and by significant social dysfunction. Untreated schizophrenia is typically characterized by demonstrating disorganized thinking and experiencing delusions or auditory hallucinations.

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Max-Harding 05/28/2013

OY! I think I had better get a therapist-psychiatrist....I am watching a Swedish crime TV series and I'm getting thoughts that I should kill some people or kill myself. I don't know exactly what to do at the moment, but I think I can handle tonight and tomorrow look for a psychiatrist. I have been too long without one, the last being very abusive, so I need to talk to someone and i"m talking to you guys and gals....and I have a "date" tomorrow evening at Grand Central Station for coffee...I think my voices are scared of losing control because I am doing better. This will be my first, just about, date in what might be 15 years.....I think my voices are frieghtened of losing control...I'll contact my insurance as soon as possible..right now or as soon as they take calls. I've had terrible voices before and can just ignore them but these friighten me.. I willl keep you all posted...pray or keep me in your thoughts...send me support vibration through the supreme cyber network of the heavens (an entity another patient and i invented to support one another across the Atlantic. Cool, huh?) Thanks for listening. MaxH

Max-Harding 05/28/2013

Well I called my insurance and I have to call during business hours. I called the office of my now psychiatrist (who only sees people to give meds) and left a message to get a psychiatrist in their group to see monthly = $$$$...is this what happens when a psycho (as the police call me) wants to date in the regular world????? The psychiatrists I have called in my area all are not taking patients...I am hoping that my current psychiatrist group will have someone I can talk to soon. Scary, but I feel better all ready..will check in in the morning here....dumb previous therapist made me so mad I distrust them all...but that's not good. Amen.

deleted_user 05/28/2013

I will pray for you Max definitely. Please if you start to feel like you are out of control go to the ER. You can get connected to a pdoc that way through a social worker. Maybe you need to go inpatient? I hope not. You sometimes can ask a new pdoc or therapist for a free initial greeting to see if you feel it is a match or not and go from there. You defininetly need to be on meds...dont know if you aren't. And I am a strong believer in therapy. Good luck my friend and keep us updated okay?
--jeni

deleted_user 05/28/2013

hmmm....scary voices max. scary shit man.

i think hooking up with a shrink at the hospital is a good idea. don't let it get further along. it can take weeks to push through all the paperwork in the big beurocracy, and that's a long time to suffer hallucinations.

Max-Harding 05/28/2013

Thanks, I will make a few phone calls tomorrow morning and then see about going to an ER and get and out patient therapist/psychaitrist.
I can't go in patient as I have two cats one of which need twice daily squirts of a special medicine. I am on tons of dosages of Risperdal and Abilifyl...I can't imagine it 's the meds but it migt be...i think it is the isolationa nd social anxiety ( a first for me)....I'll stay close with my cats for the night and get woriking on this int he morningl....Medicare costs a lot for therapy/social workers..its' such a shame.....and I have hardly any money to spare for a once a month meeting with a shrink/pDoc.
Thanks..MaxH.

SwordDancer 05/28/2013

Calling your pdoc is a good idea Max but I have to agree with Mojo on this one. Going to the ER may be your best option. When you get to the hospital, you can explain about the cats and ask them to contact the ASPCA or a veterinarian to pick up and house the cats while your stay in the hospital if they choose to admit you.

Take care of yourself and let us know how you are doing.

Max-Harding 05/29/2013

HIya all,
I took an extra 2mg of Risperdal this morning (I usually take 10 mg at night, helps me sleep) and I am calming down. I am going to the Senior Center today and as often as I can afford. Isolation is a problem for me...I willl call my insurance in a few minutes and then later also my pDoc's clinic in Manhattan to see if I can arrange a session soon. Could this just be a medicaiton issue? It's hard for me to believe, I can't go in hospital cause I can't afford to board my cats and the ASPCA will put them down, especially the sick one. Thanks for all your concern and advice. MaxH

Max-Harding 05/29/2013

Sorry to be so "wordy" , but those voices really scared me. I got my insurance company and there IS a psyshciatrist covrered in my usual clinic...I will call the clinic in a couple of hours when they open. Most psychiatrists are so hard to get an appoitnment with!! The extra Risperdal is doing wonders....calmer, thoughts clearer, will let you know more when it happens.....you've been so great, all of you. I don't reach out that easily MaxH

SwordDancer 05/29/2013

Good to hear you are feeling better and working on the steps to get help. Getting an emergency appointment is not always easy but if you tell them in detail what is going on I'm sure they will work you in an avoid the hospitalization.

Max-Harding 05/29/2013

Thanks all for your suppport, concern adn advice. My lunch at the lunch was low-keyed but helpful...My date turned out with a bummer feeling in my gut....I dont thinkg it is particularlly helpful to try to be "on" on a date....but I have one more on Saturday with a woman I really like....I'm learning...it may not be that advisable but I need in person friends.....that wall of the stigma about mental illness is going to prove difficullt...but necessary to get through rather than try to live a lie...

Max-Harding 05/30/2013

Well, I;ve managed to stay out of the hospital and get through the last couple of days. Tonight my psychosis convinced me that i really am psychotic (having mental telepathy with imaginary people who are tens of miles away at least) and I've left some messages at one pDoc but no return call. Tomorrow I will try to nail one somewhere either in Manhattan or out where I live in the Bronx..It's good to see so clearly now that I am sick....
Thanks all for your help.
MaxH

SwordDancer 05/30/2013

Good that you are recognizing it Max and making those phone calls! Take care of yourself and let us know what the doc says.

Max-Harding 05/31/2013

Nobody returned my phone calls..I'll make it through the weekend and try again next week.. I am so isolated...I must take steps..there is nothing here where I live but storefront churches and shopping malls....I appreciatre this group more than anything....MaxH

SwordDancer 06/02/2013

How's it going Max?

Max-Harding 06/03/2013

Hi SDer !! Thanks for asking. I am doing much better. I do'nt have those murderous thoughts anymore and am doing things, making contacts to break out of my isolation. I will see my old pDOc this Saturday for a 2 months' supply of meds. Somehow I willl arrange for a new pDoc, since he is leaving my network..I'll miss him. We don't talk, but just his kindness means more than the usual therapy experience. I think I will do okay now....I would rather spend the money on socializing rather than anything more than once a month meetings for meds...Faith helps a lot too......This group has been like an anchor to me...so thanks all.

SwordDancer 06/03/2013

Oh that's good news!! Glad to hear you are feeling better.

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