I am sorry you are dealing with and a non-supportive hubby. Glad you found this wonderfully supportive place.

Sounds like he is dealing with a great amount FEAR which is understandable. Those possibilities do exist for untreated RA. He needs time to adjust and learn about this disease. which for the vast majority of us is manageable, and for some of us can be totally controlled.

I am on my fourth biologic, Orencia, and in pretty much total remission.

I know nothing about dicloflenac and have zero personal experience with plaquinil but I do know Enbrel and I would not think any doc would think about "replacing" it with MTX, but possibly ADDING MTX to your treatment plan. Most of the biologics are recommended to be used WITH MTX.

As for pregnancy, check with your doctor and mothers here may also help with that.

Best of luck. Keep us posted.

We all need support, but in fairness to your husband, it sounds like he's being pragmatic about the diagnosis and treatment.

You indicated that you know how the disease can progress. But do you know that the DMARDS can halt that progression?

As Warrior Girl mentioned, MTX is generally used as the first frontline drug. Once a biologic is added, MTX dose is generally reduced. I've never heard of being on biologic and then going to MTX instead.....unless you have a severe reaction to all biologics. [Sounds like you did not.]

If I were your husband I would be mad, too, if you didn't take the drugs. He values YOU more than adding to the family. I think that's very smart of him. What you'll hear from other RA patients who have had kids after being diagnosed is that too often there's a honeymoon period during pregnancy. Then, after delivery, the disease can return with a vengeance and is difficult to control with DMARDS at that point.

I'm sorry if I sound brutal, but you need to know what too often happens. Do you want to be a new mom and can't pick up her baby? Or are too exhausted that you can't pick up your baby? I'm not saying this happens in every case, but I have heard of far too many instances where it does.

These are things you need to think about and discuss together with your husband. It might be wise to discuss the possibility of postponing a family until you have the disease well under control.

Hi. I actually have had RA for 27 years and it started right after my son was born. And yes i could not hold him and needed tons of help from family and home health aids. Despite all that, he was my best painkiller. He brought so much joy. After a couple years, I went into remission and was off of meds, mind you there were very few choices of meds back then. No biological just anti inflammatory , i was on naproxen and prednisone. Anyway, I was told to not have any more children but decided with my husband to leave it in the good lords hands. After having my daughter, i Had very little RA symptoms . After the third, a miscarriage, i became extremely ill with the RA and was bedridden for a time. It was horrible. So, one never knows. I dont regret having my children, they have been my best painkillers and reason to not give up. I know this is different for everyone and every couple needs to decide with the good lords help, what is best for them. Just as an aside, my 27 year old son has been very caring and helps with the caregiving as now i am flaring quite badly. My daughter, the one i was told not to have, just became a dr of physical therapy in hopes to help me and people like me. Neither look at me as a burden and do their best to give me love and support. They are blessings to my supportive husband and i. I will certainly say a prayer for you and your husband for the right decision.

It is time to stop freaking out. That's doing you no good at all. RA isn't the least bit impressed by drama. Do you know what it's doing while you don't take your meds and argue with your husband? It's progressing. It is destroying your body. You aren't going to get a do-over.

Sure, there's sadness and anger and those are understandable reactions. You can get help for those. You are in a community right here of hundreds of people who completely understand those feelings, and who will be happy to listen as you sort it out. But in the meantime, pull up your big girl panties and take the meds. This is not the time to be an ostrich.

Well said, Katie.

I've learned some invaluable skills and life lessons in the 25 years since I was diagnosed. At the forefront:
~ time management/prioritizing my life
~ self-sufficiency

When you put aside the emotions [which don't resolve anything] and force yourself to set positive and REALISTIC goals, life becomes a lot easier.

Hi, I was also diagnosed a few months ago. I want to try the holistic approach before taking Methotrexate, as my doctor recommended. I am young, active and athletic. I don't like the risk of getting infections and cancer. I do know that the meds slow down the progression of the disease, but I am still worried about the side effects. Close family and friends do find it hard to talk about RA because it's so difficult to deal with-they don't want to see you in pain. The holistic approach is very difficult. You have to keep a strict diet and exercise, but I feel better. I hope we can share our experiences and help/support each other. Stay strong.

Oceanbluz, the overwhelming stats indicate that those who try the holistic approach and delay treatment with DMARDS have a much harder and longer time arresting the progress of the disease.

RA is a serious chronic disease. If you had cancer would you try the holistic approach?

Your concerns about the side effects from the drugs can probably be assuaged. Most people get so caught up in side effects that more than likely will never happen. The OVERWHELMING number of RA patients who are on DMARDS are out enjoying life and not reading forums such as this.

The business about diet and exercise.....well, that's all well and good. BUT IT DOES NOTHING TO STOP THE PROGRESSION OF THE DISEASE. ONCE THE DISEASE PROGRESSES, THE DAMAGE IS DONE. IT IS NOT REVERSIBLE.

Hi! So I was diagnosed with RA at 29 years old. I was very active before I started getting symptoms. Loved weightlifting and going to the gym. After I was diagnosed my husband and I married and decided to start a family. I had just started on Enbrel and was doing ok but doc kept telling me to give the meds time, but the pregnancy could cause me to go into remission as most people do. I had no such luck, but my symptoms we're mild. Pregnancy went great! Since having my son my symptoms are slowly getting worse, but my doc said she may switch me to humira. That being said maybe try seeing about switching biologics. Humira is considered safe during pregnancy as well as Enbrel. As long as you try to stay active and push yourself to do what you can rather than sit around being depressed you will have a good quality of life. It is best to stay as active as possible. For me that is taking care of my son and doing small at home workouts on days that I feel good. Good luck with everything! RA sucks! But you can kick it's butt!

I am not so much young nor do I have the most experience with RA im new as well but I do kave experience with being a husband . Ok you tell your husband you dont like talking about emotional stuff . I get that but he is the one you must talk to . You have the pain you have the problems but RA has you both . Include him in how you feel . Have him goto drs and help you . Let him be a part of this and when he sees that if you hold on the MTX for a bit to have a child it will be ok . He is scared just as you are . I have found that if I am scared and my wife is scared and we are pushing each other away it sucks . Your husband is the one who will be there for you if yer both scared its better if you are at least scared together . We cant protect our partners from this or how we are feeling but we can lean on them and let them lean on us . or something like that.

The last couple posts offer excellent adv ice.

Lots of good replies here. I understand your wanting the support you feel you want from your husband, kjan, but, as others have suggested, give him a listen. You won't find very many people who truly have success with alternative methods for treating RA. You may hear a lot of stories, and they may be true, but the fact is, the overwhelming evidence is that these crummy drugs are what will most likely help you maintain your life. Wait a second. Not crummy. I've had a pretty good run on RA meds.

oceanbluz, what exactly do you mean by holistic approach? There are a zillion iterations of holistic approaches, including kefir and fermented foods, discontinuing nightshades, sugar, meats, gluten, whatever. There was a person on here not all that long ago, who said she was healed by Eastern medicine, but never articulated just what that was. I ask out of curiosity, with some skepticism, but not meaning to offend. I think diet (variations on the Mediterranean theme for me) and exercise (all you can handle) are the cat's meow, but not to treat RA, specifically. These are wellness activities we all can benefit from in many ways.

I wish you all well.

I understand what you're going through. My fiance doesn't really understand and unfortunately when I try to open up about the pain all I hear is how much he's in pain. I love him but I don't like the competing. Like who's pain is worse.

I'm sorry to hear what a difficult time you're going through. I was in your shoes (minus having a fiancé) 2 years ago. I was diagnosed with RA at 25 and I remember exactly how you're feeling. It does get better. People around you who care the most about you sometimes don't know how to respond to hearing about RA especially when you're so young. His fear may come out as anger. I tried MTX and after being on it a few months I became very sick- throwing up, weak, body pain every time after my injection. I know everyone responds differently but this medicine can be hard on your body and I think should be avoided especially bc we are so young. That is only my opinion! Have you tried compression socks? Turmeric? Any other supplements in addition with your medicine? I know gluten can also be a trigger for pain for me. I went to the AIP diet which also seemed to help tremendously. I feel for you and pray tough time passes quickly.

Jolie – Yes I was healed by Eastern Medicine. The reason I did not articulate about the medicine because I don’t want anyone to think that I joined Daily Strength to sell this medicine. All I want is to share the experience that I went through. If RA fellows interested to find out more about this medicine, they can contact me via PM. I’m more than happy to show them the path. Then they have to do the walk. Due to the language barrier, this path may be not easy for some.

I just joined this site not long ago, March 2017, 2 months after I was diagnosed with RA. The same month that I started taking Eastern Medicine. Now I’m pain free. Rainy, cold and damp weather don’t bother me anymore. I can consume all the food that triggered the flare during RA treatment but I don’t want to consume too much because technically my body still weak so I want it has a chance to heal. I’m extremely happy with the result, same as my wife and kids. My latest blood test shown the SED rate was at 14 which is within normal range. My Rheumy called me in disbelieve with result of the blood test. Note that, I did not see my Rheumy since she tried to put me on biologic.

Someone might suggest that I have another disease, I can only say this; I am not a doctor and neither are you. I just take whatever diagnose that the Rheumy threw at me. And yes, doctor can misdiagnose too. I am more than happy to take that misdiagnose any day. Who need this RA anyway?

If anyone skeptical about the medicine, I don’t blame you because it is very difficult to understand the eastern medicine philosophy. It took me 4 months to translate all the ingredients in the formula that the Vietnamese doctor created for me and ONLY for me. Depend the conditions of each patient, such as high blood sugar/pressure, pregnant, breast feed, or other conditions and diseases, Doctor will add more ingredients or remove some of the ingredients to perfect suit for each patient’s condition. So there is no “1 size fit all” formula.

Following is the list of them (scientific name). I don’t know the quantity of each ingredient because when I received the Med, they were all mixed in. These are herbal medicine not some kind of supplement vegetable. Patient has to cook and prepare the medicine. In my case, my wife did the cooking for me because I was so weak and pain to even hold a spoon, let alone a big ceramic pot with 12 full cups of water and medicine.

1. Milletia reticulata Benth
2. Codonopsis pilosula
3. Homalomena occulta
4. Atractylodes macrocephala Koidz
5. Poria cocos Wolf
6. Astragalus membranaceus
7. Cinnamomum cassia
8. Clycyrrhiza uralensis
9. Sophora japonica Linn
10. Coix lachryma jobi
11. Lonicera japonica Thunb
12. Schefflera Octophylla
13. Pueraria thomsoni Benth

I'm glad you think the Eastern method worked for you.

But remember, RA waxes and wanes and it could be you THINK the medicine worked for you when in fact the disease was ebbing on its own. Most people have RA up's and down's in the beginning.