Sorry you had to experience that. As you said, she more than likely didn't mean it to be offensive. I find that many people do not think before speaking anymore.

So sorry about that. Hugs coming your way!!!!! My fiancee does that often. I think sometimes their mouths move faster than their brains.

I agree - sometimes people just don't filter what comes out of their mouths. Let it go.

rather than "letting it go" I am using it as a teaching moment.

People are often clueless and speak without thinking. I've done it plenty of times, I bet we all have. That said, your feelings are completely valid.
When it comes to covering your hands or not, that decision should be about what makes you most comfortable, other people can just deal with it

YES!

I admit, I used to always wear socks with sandals (shock!!) to cover up my deformed feet. I couldn't bear to have people look at them, even though they usually weren't! Then I moved to a semi-desert area. It is hot as blazes, and last year, I realized that I simply could not wear socks in the summer. I knew a lady from my church with RA and vasculitis, and her feet are pretty ugly, too. We talked about it, and she agree that this area is simply not an area for wearing socks when it is hot, and she has lived here for years.

So now, I boldly wear my Birkenstocks, with the buddy loop on the right foot, and the toes off at 90 degrees on the left foot, and if someone doesn't like it they can lump it.

Use it as a teaching moment, I agree. Really, if someone told me to wear gloves to cover my hands, I would probably laugh in their face! It is cruel as can be, but stupid is as stupid does! Seriously, I am sure you are not the first person with disabilities or deformities this person has seen to put in their "place." So I would not feel bad at telling her about your illness, turn about is fair play.

I do sympathize with what you went through. I would probably lose it if someone said that to me! People just don't have training in dealing with people who are suffering. I know my DIL is a doctor, and when my father was dying, she was the one who gently pointed it out to my son and I the symptoms of how sick he was. She was tactful, and never brought it up to my Dad. He sure didn't need it. But she has a lot of training, and most people just are clueless about how to deal with disabilities and "imperfections" like heart disease.

Oh well, it could have been worse - she could have told you about a diet that cures, and would magically make your hands better! Or not! Hard to believe people are still like this, when there is so much information out there about dealing with the kinds of issues we deal with.

Marelene - my m-i-l used to tell me every new "cure" for RA every time I went (which was every other weekend)... she would tell me and "prove" it with an article from the National Inquirer! :-) (no smiley face emojees. :-( I'd thank her and roll on the floor laughing after I left!

That i simply laughed off as stupidity. This felt different. Like I was a pariah or a leper or needed to live in hiding like elephant man! And I KNOW she meant to be helpful! But it's how I FELT.

Also - I have to share that for 10 years I wore leg braces (AFOs) to avoid ankle fusion surgery and as a result I was limited to wearing MENS extra wide New Balance sneakers. TEN YEARS!! Luckily I was never a shopaholic or shoe maven and am mostly a jeans person anyhow! Yes, it was extreme torture in the summer. Just recently (ironically while goin through my flare up!) I discovered that the braces had accomplished what they needed to and I no longer needed them. So now I JUST need my custom orthotic innersoles that can actually fit into women's EXTRA WIDE shoes. So I went about shopping - this is the best part - for sandals with a CLOSED TOE (not easy to find) because I am LOATHE to expose my hideous toenail fungus!! Guess I DO have some vanity.

But comfort is prime.

Can you imagine this woman suggested GLOVES in the midst of a SUMMER heat wave!!! And did she intend for me to e=wear them indoors - even in the winter? Not conspicuous at all!

Happy and Lynn are 100%correct! She's a bright woman but, yes, she opened her mouth and inserted her foot before THINKING. And yes, I have more times than I care to remember.

Yeah, well okay, might as well admit what a male slug that I am. My hands are quickly doing the same WGal (sorry for your friends' insensitivity, I would have made the bag comment to her face so you're better than I) but I have found the hands and the slower walking gate (feet doing weird things also) have gotten me more and more hugs from more and more women of all ages. Yes, I just smile and slurp up the sympathy. Typical male making lemonade.

Love it, Nonight! You go for it! I can tell you that men are less sympathetic. (but that's no surprise).

Well, if you're a woman and older than about 32, you are just supposed to go around with a bag over your head anyway. Why not add gloves? God forbid we should scare the young and perfect.

Thanks alto, actually laughed out loud, needed that this morning!

DITTO THAT!!! and I am WELL past 32.... I need a full body cover-up!

Along the lines of "stupid things to say": my friend's elevator was supposedly fixed so I gathered my courage and went to visit her. Yes, I used the elevator - held my breath the whole time. When I got off I ran into one of her neighbors and we chatted a second about the elevator. She looked at me and said, "Well at least you're healthy enough to use the stairs."

There are some things that just aren't worth commenting on.

I am more forgiving about comments about things that are in fact invisible...but